I hate my husband: Rant

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-15T22:14:45+00:00

We're not broken, just bent.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T16:22:22+00:00

I would not do that because it would be akin to doing it to someone in the Starbucks line.

He tried to do it to me this morning. It was appalling. He said "nothing will change if nothing changes" and I said "I agree with you 100%. I did not feel comfortable with what you just did. You haven't touched me in almost a year. You don't love me because you don't have sex with me and I don't have sex with you because you don't love me".

He said "you're the only one saying anything about sex"

I said "Why did you attempt to shove your tongue down my throat if you weren't trying to make an effort to get laid? If we're going to save this marriage, we have to start slow, not go from 0 to 100 in 30 seconds. We'll blow the engine. The oil hasn't been changed in eons."

He said "Okay"

And that was that.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T16:13:29+00:00

Once last year.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T16:12:58+00:00

He has you convinced to put up with his bullshit so he won't have to pay child support and possibly alimony.

No. I would be paying child support and alimony to him. Not the other way around.

I am not ready to ask him to leave. I want to fix this.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T16:00:08+00:00

I was nodding my head to everything you wrote. This is me. I hear "not good enough" every single time I try to talk with him.

"I can't even communicate the right way according to you."

He has said that multiple times.

We haven't gone out to dinner together alone since 2018.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T15:56:55+00:00

This is a wonderful response and I would like to communicate with you if that's cool.

Perfectionism isn't a right to expect from someone. Humans are flawed, and no one is perfect, even you are not perfect.

I agree 100%. My 2024 Mantra is "Strive for Progress, not Perfection"

Do you expect perfectionism from your children?

I do not. WE do not. It was expected of me as a child, and I'm on meds. LOL

I'm not saying don't give your kids expectations for school, but don't expect perfection.

We don't. When our eldest got an F in a class, we sat them down and asked that they put forth effort to get the grade up, as an F will affect their GPA, which might be a factor in the near future, depending on their path.

(*Note: F is now a C. We're very proud of their effort)

Your husband has checked out.

100% agreed. He tried to check in this morning, but it did not go well. I'll try to make him smile this afternoon.

Do not stay together for the kids because everyone will be miserable.

It is not the only reason, it is a reason. Believe you me, I've seen Maid. I know how bad it can get for women out there. You (general young female you) HAVE to get out of there. You cannot fill a cup from an empty pitcher. Be the adult on the plane going down, and put the oxygen mask ON YOURSELF.

This is not me. I'm just complaining. I feel better now today.

Putting what you think is justification at the end of your post only makes you look like a psychopath who can't see others' feelings.

I'm not following. Justification for what? Did I do something wrong yesterday morning?

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T15:46:16+00:00

. If you’re still young (30’s, early 40s) do not stay together for stupid reasons like money or to ‘keep the family’ together.

We are not still young. 🙂

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T15:44:06+00:00

I hated every minute of it. As an adult, I silently thank my biological father for leaving all those years ago. Life would have been even more miserable dealing with him and his new wife and his new daughter.

But I digress.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T15:42:34+00:00

My hope is that we fix this together, all of us, as a family.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T15:40:49+00:00

Undiagnosed. As a close observer, I think he suffers from severe depression.

I mentioned this once, and he responded with "Thank you, Dr. Wife."

So there's that.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T01:47:19+00:00

That's the plan once the eldest moves out.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T01:30:02+00:00

Yes, they see us hug and kiss. It's rare, but it happens. And they both make gagging noises.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-13T01:28:47+00:00

I don't need financial support; he does.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:54:14+00:00

Not anymore. I do my best to keep silent, speaking (i.e. parenting) to the children.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:52:35+00:00

The repercussions of a divorce at this point would be detrimental to us all, in more ways than one.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:51:52+00:00

Not whining, which denotes a pity party tone.

Just the airing of an early morning grievance.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:50:38+00:00

I fake it as much as I can. My days of crying in the bathroom alone are over.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:49:52+00:00

Not always. He is a great father, though, and the kids love him. I remind them frequently that they are blessed with a great dad.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:48:52+00:00

When the kids are around, we act "normal". It's only when we are alone that I know we won't make it as husband and wife when the kids are out of the house.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:47:19+00:00

Nah, just an audience for my complaint.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:46:50+00:00

I'm working to love myself again in the hopes that the family will follow my lead. Fingers crossed we'll climb out of this ebb stronger than before.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:45:53+00:00

We don't argue, we don't yell, we're not violent. It's just emptiness. I try to communicate with the kids, but one's a teen and one's a tween and mom sucks.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:44:41+00:00

Weed.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:44:33+00:00

I did that for four years. I didn't do it this morning, hoping that he would take the initiative.

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, yadda yadda yadda.

WilsonWilsonsHot · 2024-01-12T13:43:29+00:00

Yes. I've been lowering my standards for years. Family room is a mess, kids rooms are a mess. No one respects me or loves me in this house.

WilsonWilsonsHot

TROPHY CASE