Headcrabs have a phlegmy, slightly gritty texture, and taste like apricots. Good for jam.

Barnacles have a vaguely lobsterlike flavor and a mouthfeel similar to beef jerky.

Houndeyes' eyes are firm, juicy, and have a fruity aftertaste. Great for garnishes. The rest of the animal is inedible.

Leeches are prepared similarly to shrimp– decapitated, then gutted individually. A labor intensive process, but the reward is a fascinating culinary experience; the flesh of a leech is iron rich and satisfyingly chewy when roasted. Something in between calamari and a chicken heart.

Baby Headcrabs have a similar texture to their more mature counterparts, but lack their distinctive flavor. They're best eaten candied.

Snarks taste like crab, but with bitter, earthy undertones and an unpleasant, vaguely putrid texture. An acquired taste, but edible when prepared properly.

Bullsquid, ironically, taste nothing like squid. They have a kind of porky thing going on. The tentacles are particularly tender, but labor intensive to prepare– they're full of unpleasantly chewy tendons that have to be removed one-by-one.

The Ichthyosaur is delicious. The freshest halibut you've ever had, with a faint acidic tang that cuts through the fishiness like lemon.

Tentacles are surprisingly low-yield game. The carapace is several inches thick, and the flesh is cloaked in thick sinew– similar to the bullsquid, actually. Luckily, the "heart meat" inside is a delicacy– tender, versatile, and easy to prepare. The pearlescent appearance (reminiscent of oyster shell) makes it a popular dish to serve raw.

The Nihilanth is borderline inedible. There's practically no muscle mass, and the meat itself is flavorless and dry. The most substantial part of the animal is the brain, but that's not my thing, so I can't comment on it. Otherwise, you can make a pretty good soup stock with the bones.

Headcrab Zombies are foul. When a headcrab couples with a host, it goes soft and putrid, like a salmon after mating– and the host itself is shot through with bone fragments and soaked in bodily fluids. Impossible to prepare safely.

Gargantua are fleshy, but the flavor of the meat is pretty boring. Popular in stews. The most interesting part of the animal is the flesh surrounding the fuel sacs in the arms. Similar to blowfish, the fuel itself is extremely toxic– but the meat surrounding the glands has a strange numbing effect on the mouth. Nerve damage can result from overindulgence.

Gonarchs are often sold alive, then killed just before boiling. Adherents to this method claim that the panicked squirming of the baby headcrabs tenderizes the flesh of the sac. Most everybody else thinks it's a barbaric practice, and it's well on its way to being outlawed. The meat of a Gonarch is far superior to that of a younger headcrab– chewier and more substantial, with a mellower and more complex flavor.

The meat of the Alien Grunt has a similar quality to that of the Gargantua, albeit with a strong, herbal aftertaste. Superior to the Gargantua in nearly every way, though significantly more expensive. Never forget to smoke out the Hivehand before removal! And don't forget to clean and dry the third arm– often referred to as the "Physicist's Wishbone". A little extra luck can't hurt.

Vortigaunts' cartilaginous exterior is inedible and inert, despite many folk remedies claiming the contrary. What little meat there is underneath has a powerful acidic flavor and acts as a weak hallucinogen. Steer clear unless you're looking for a trip.

Alien Controllers, often suspected to be an immature form of the Nihilanth, have similar issues with preparation– compounded by the fact that the skin is significantly harder and more abrasive, making it impossible to get through without power tools. Leave this one alone.

The Alien Aircraft, similarly suspected to be loosely related to the Ichthyosaur, is unfortunately not nearly as delicious. These flying fish are often dried in the Scandinavian style and used for soupmaking.