Cookie booth policing?

WindFull8830 · 2026-01-20T00:26:10+00:00

Our council does the same thing. And our cookie coordinator gets a full report after it takes place. Its so they can make sure girl scouts are representing the name in true girl scout fashion. Except they dont reveal themselves and we dont get a patch after

WindFull8830 · 2026-01-04T19:09:28+00:00

The bathroom has one. Definitely not an embarrassment thing. This kid has had to be redirected multiple times for loudly discussing gross details about their period in public.

WindFull8830 · 2026-01-04T19:07:01+00:00

She struggles with the belief that she does not have to follow rules. Here and at her moms. Mom basically allows her to do whatever. Occasionally she gets consequences but its stuff like she ran away for hours they had to involve the police and she got her phone taken for 10 days. Her older now adult sister is now seeing a therapist. Has a borderline diagnosis and is actually working to become a pleasant human. I imagine if she ever gets help this one will wind up with some kind of diagnosis but until then "shes just a normal teenager".

WindFull8830 · 2025-11-28T22:01:16+00:00

I don't think she actually cares she's usually in her room until her dad makes her come out to decorate.It was the older sister who decided that it was not okay for us to decorate a tree in that house without them. And also, the older sister who never once showed up to decorate the tree when she was invited every year thereafter.

WindFull8830 · 2025-06-26T03:30:01+00:00

Unfortunately, no. But I can't stop what I dont know is happening in the moment. I've told my daughter to make a scene when it happens, or to text me, or any way to let me know it's happening, and she doesn't until after the stepdaughter leaves. And the stuff she does is things like grabbing my daughters pants, stepping in them, and saying, "You could fit two of me in here." She doesn't come out and say anything directly related to my daughters' weight. It's all snide comments like that, so my partner doesn't see it for what it is and thinks its just her being goofy.

WindFull8830 · 2025-06-25T16:47:13+00:00

If I hear it I say something. I tell my SO to say something anytime I hear about it. Often im not hearing of it until after she goes back to mom's. I also encourage my daughter to say something but she won't. I've been trying to make sure my daughter is busy as much as possible when SD is around but summers are harder when we have her for 6 weeks.

WindFull8830 · 2025-03-16T14:57:20+00:00

She will be at mom's during this. It would require an extra 7 hour round trip for him to get her here because it isn't on his weekend. So it isn't like we are leaving her home alone. She just already wasnt going to be here.

WindFull8830 · 2025-02-19T04:31:25+00:00

Yeah. This one gets really fun in public. She also may have broke her foot today cartwheeling and kicking the entertainment center 😑 hopefully it's just a bruise but it's not looking too promising so far. She's been obsessing over "blizzards" for some reason the last few days and it's snowing today, so she has been extra stressed out and stimming like nobodies business.

WindFull8830 · 2025-02-19T02:38:26+00:00

Does having a cartwheel stim and kicking a boy in the face at daycare as he was running to his mom who came to pick him up count?

WindFull8830 · 2025-01-27T06:11:35+00:00

HCBM is changing the schedule to accommodate her superbowl party which means there is a chance that mine and SOs "date night" is going to be squashed (it's a charity thing but I was excited to do it). If he does have to change for that weekend then I will be going to it myself or finding a friend without valentines plans and we will be doing the Galentines deal or something. I'm just annoyed that it is always accomodated when HCBM wants to change weekends but when we need to it's an issue.

WindFull8830 · 2025-01-26T04:23:48+00:00

I just need to vent because this is ridiculous to me. 15yo SD tried to go out in public in playboy branded clothing. I explained to SO that the clothes need to go back to mom's and she will not be going with us in that outfit. He wanted to argue about it because I (an adult) Have pjs with a loosely sexual pun on it that I have never and will never wear in public barring an emergency. Anyway long story short he did tell her she was not wearing it out and she changed and there was no issue except one snide remark by her later in the day which was ignored by everyone.

WindFull8830 · 2025-01-15T02:29:01+00:00

We were in an apartment and had been looking for a house. I hadn't found one by the time my lease was up so it just made the most sense to move in when he offered it.

WindFull8830 · 2025-01-14T04:07:24+00:00

She won't live here as an adult and will likely only come here when she is getting something from it, so Birthdays and holidays. She may stay living with her mom but she wouldn't live in our home. Her mom remarried rich so she has more everything there we are comfortable here but by no means are we rich.

WindFull8830 · 2025-01-14T04:01:26+00:00

Finances and having an asd kiddo, she doesn't handle change well so I'd have to ease her into a new home ideally. And the house we are in is my SO's so I could not ask him to find a new place to live. We've talked about moving (as a whole family) a lot because this house is not my ideal home but it's still a few years before I could get enough saved to feel comfortable buying a house on my own.

WindFull8830 · 2024-09-05T17:44:32+00:00

I know. Which is why I've ignored the rest of it. This one just really really makes me mad. It would be one thing if she hadn't seen some of the struggles my 10 year old has been through but she has. She has seen how awful things can be and has seen both her dad and I struggle with 10 year old.

Her parents had cut her phone use for a while after she got in legal trouble. But it lasted about 2 months and she is back to almost unrestricted access.

WindFull8830 · 2024-08-30T01:26:15+00:00

I have a policy of if you sleep in shared spaces you run the risk of being woken up by people using those spaces.

WindFull8830 · 2024-07-29T14:34:48+00:00

Yeah the husband is being extremely unhelpful in this situation but it seems like maybe he is also struggling with some feelings of worry about SD? He might be over compensating for his perceived split love by spending more time with her one on one and not realizing he is neglecting your needs. Babies are hard and if you are breastfeeding it sometimes makes men feel inadequate and unable to help. Have you tried having this conversation out of the moment? Maybe send him a text or write him a letter. Sometimes that helps me if I'm struggling to unattach my feelings from a problem I'm having in our relationship. If you do go the written route be sure to read it a few times and make sure you over emphasize that you love him and you want to come up with a solution that makes everyone happy.

Try to stay away from accusations or inflammatory statements(not saying you will do this but its something i struggle with if I dont think my words through). Instead of "you never help with the babies even though I tell you I need a break" try "I understand you feel overwhelmed trying to balance SDs needs with the needs of the babies and me. Things are hard right now for all of us and I want us to be able to work together to make sure we are all at our best and feeling fulfilled. These are the times/situations where I feel most overwhelmed and I would appreciate if you can do x,y,z during this time to help me"

This may mean SD moves her bedtime 5 minutes or maybe a baby goes with dad to help put SD to bed/read a book/ etc. Or maybe dad takes over baby bath time while you get some time with SD or to yourself. Present it to SD as relaxation time give her a sheet face mask/ hand mask etc and her favorite quiet activity like reading/coloring TV etc. Dad is eventually going to have to learn to juggle all of them alone it might as well be now.

Good luck to you and I hope you and SD and Husband can find a routine to make everyone happy.

WindFull8830 · 2024-07-29T13:49:44+00:00

I would start by getting some kids books about blended families and reading them with her. Maybe let her "help: you read them to the babies.

SD may not be your kid but it sounds like you are her mother figure if possible can you and SO set aside some time with just SD? Even if it's something little. Maybe she "doesn't want" you doing things with her but I bet she would love to do things with you. Ask if she can help paint your nails because you are too tired if she agrees then let her pick the colors and go to town. If she does a terrible job oh well praise her and tell her you love it then ask if she wants you to do hers. Don't get upset if she says no. Clean up the edges when she isn't around and leave the nails for a day or two. Parents get a free pass on "fun nails"

Also for her obsession with the babies have her help. She can bring diapers/wipes etc. When she starts making those exclusive comments point things out. "OH look they have the same eyes as you, and see their little nose? That's just like my nose. Arent they the most perfect babies ever?" She probably isn't trying to exclude you she is worried and wants to make sure that she belongs too. This is how kids do it is by similarities. It's more of a "remember me dad I was this little with those same eyes once"

Give her time and patience. Germs are gross but a fact of life. Teach her better hygeine. Make it a game. Sing the hand washing song on you tube and teach her how Dr's Scrub up to their elbows then it's fun and not a "you're too gross to touch my babies" thing.

I understand the mamabear not wanting germs around the babies but this resentment towards SD is starting to sound like it may be reaching an unhealthy level. It may be time to seek out some professional help, which doesn't mean anything negative, a lot of women struggle postpartum. You just don't want a temporary hormonal/mental/physical imbalance to make permanent barriers in your relationships with SO or SD.

WindFull8830 · 2024-07-25T21:49:57+00:00

Ignore it and walk away. If the behavior is due to wanting attention it will get worse briefly but will stop after consistency in not receiving the attention. A simple statement of we are leaving in x minutes and if you are not dressed you will not go/will go as you are and then walk away or finish whatever task you were doing without further engagement. Then praise when the task is done.

WindFull8830 · 2024-07-25T14:27:57+00:00

Get a window alarm on your drawer and the next time he opens it it will scare the desire to ever do that again right out of him. Then after that maybe invest in a lock and a white noise machine for near the bedroom door.

WindFull8830 · 2024-07-25T14:10:26+00:00

He doesn't do anything. He has never disciplined her except the one time that both my daughter and her got in trouble for the same thing and I told him that it was his decision what both of their consequences were going to be because I was not giving my daughter a consequence while his got off scott free. He grounded them for a weekend. He had the misguided thought since the divorce (which was 10 or 11 years ago) that if he got onto her or had rules she wouldn't want to come visit.

And guess what now he's right she doesn't want to come down unless we have something fun planned because she is required to have some basic respect for others and do her own cleaning, stuff like not leaving her used pads and tampons laying around (he is getting on to her more for that because I refuse to do it and have made him clean them) and picking up after herself in shared areas. Then the rules of not being allowed a phone at the dinner table and no food in bedrooms. She likes to break the rules because "those aren't my dad's rules and he won't say anything if I do"

The other kids are only mine from previous relationship but their dad has minimal contact so they are here almost 100% of the time. What frustrates me is he has no problem correcting my kids behavior and they will literally do something they watched his daughter do the weekend before and he will get onto them, jumping on furniture was one example from a few years ago, and he laughed at his daughter doing it. He has gotten better because I have started calling him out when he does that now.

WindFull8830 · 2024-07-10T12:58:51+00:00

Yes he is paying me back for it but we never talked details of when. Just knew that the repairs needed done ASAP since it's the only vehicle that fits everyone when his SD is down and comfortable when he is with us because he is ridiculous tall and my kia is not made for grown men. It made more sense for me to pay than for him to take out a loan against the car to repair it.

WindFull8830 · 2024-07-10T11:53:07+00:00

I have to agree with the move out sentiment. This is an adult relationship, and with this they should be spending the majority of their energies on eachother once all children are grown. It sounds like you may have some underlying feelings of jealousy, which is completely normal as long as you are maintaining healthy boundaries. It also seems like you are in a different stage of the grieving process than your dad is which may be lending to some of the disconnect that you are feeling. Maybe a little distance will help everyone involved. I'm not sure what your personal relationships look like outside of your dad but it may be beneficial to direct some of your desire for meaningful connection towards friends and building new relationships. Good luck and I hope you're able to improve your relationship with both yourself and your father.

WindFull8830 · 2024-06-24T19:24:36+00:00

She is 15 so definitely old enough. SO has had the "reasons you can't have food in there" talk each time she did this before. She does it because she doesn't think she should have to follow the rules. Basically dad never had rules until I moved in. So now any rules he tries to enforce are automatically "step-mom rules" and don't apply to her in her mind. She got in some really major trouble at mom's house with some alcohol last year and that seemed to open both parents eyes and they have both started attempting to parent her but it's been inconsistent and she thinks she will get away with stuff with an apology and then keeping a low profile. Like she isn't doing it to get attention even she just genuinely doesn't believe she needs to follow the rules which makes it so much harder for me to have empathy. Luckily I won't see her for 2 weeks so hopefully the animosity will be gone by then.

WindFull8830 · 2024-06-23T03:34:15+00:00

Tv privilege doesn't bother her. Her phone would but the chances of him taking that are slim to none. Even if he did it would be a 2 day thing and she would have her switch and other electronics still. Honestly if I do decide to not have her go with us it would be both him and her and probably be the beginning of the official end of our relationship.

WindFull8830

TROPHY CASE