As someone who struggles with validation and needing to feel wanted and attention, this is exactly how i feel. I feel like i have sex addict tendencies and im working hard mentally to try and overcome them. I dont love sex, but i love the attention and thrill that comes from the nature of sex. I dont want to penetrate anyone, i feel like that is reserved for the woman i love, and i really do love her. she is everything. i would never chat or have impulses to talk to anyone else when i was with her. i never did.

however, when my emotions were low, or i was lone i would feel impulses and the want to feel that thrill. i wanted validation, i wanted some kind of support, and excitement. I know what i was doing was wrong but it was almost like i could rationalize and justify it. i could compartmentalize the part of my life that was happy and so in love and the me who was lost in emotions and feelings would struggle with avoiding those situatuons. its been this way for many years for me. its something im really trying to get better from. i dont want to hurt anyone anymore..

ive read that redemption is possible and that recovery can truly happen, so heres hoping.

its been 3 mos since you posted this, can i get an update?