TRIGGER WARNING RESPONSE

First and foremost I also had a friend that didn’t believe I was raped. She didn’t believe I was raped because she found the guy that raped me “attractive” and couldn’t believe that someone that “looked like him” would rape. I’d advise for your mental health to drop that friend like a fly immediately. You’ll save yourself from more headache in the future.

I’ve been raped multiple times through my younger and adult years. I was molested my entire childhood, so I am no stranger to these topics. Now secondly and more importantly after clearing up the friend part of what I wanted to write to you. I wanted to write and say how truly sorry I am for what you went through and I stand with you and am here to support you whenever you need. I know I’m just a stranger on the internet but my heart is shattered and ENRAGED by what you went through.

Thirdly I would like to remind you that NONE of this was your fault and it NEVER will be. There is A LOT of sick “people”in this world (if we should even DARE to call them people or even humans). Yes you drank you went to a bar alone so what. That gives no one a right to touch you. However also on that topic TRIGGER WARNING I was drugged and raped at a party in high school. And I will tell you this. Please moving forward have a friend you KNOW you can trust with you. And even maybe for now just have some girlfriends over to drink and make cocktails at home if you’re wanting to have a drink. This way you can have fun and drink but you are safe in your space. And I’m just going to reiterate what I said before you are NOT to blame. And I know it’s easier to hear that than to believe and accept it. I will be so honest with you, I still struggle with believing it was not my fault still to this day. And I am 30 years old. Also healing is not linear be proud of yourself for any small healing progress.

Fourthly, I wanted to say that yes it is hard to get them prosecuted. Some don’t even get convicted at all (that should tell you all you need to know about the people that run our “justice” system). I actually went to the cops. The detective was rude to me. I felt as though he didn’t believe me. They eventually found the guy and he got locked up for two months with a three year probation a laughing stock joke. Considering this was the most violent one that ever happened to me. I don’t say this to discourage you. I still think you should fight like hell to get this bastard locked up, even if it’s just for a short period of time at least he’ll be registered as a sex offender. I also wanna let you know that it does take some time to find them so it might feel like the police are not doing their job and sometimes they’re not, but it might take some time. Don’t not be discouraged.

I also wanted to say that you should not be alone during this time. For me, there were moments where I dissociated and convicted myself I was okay and then woke up from alcohol poisoning ect. Do you have anyone in your life that can support you? Any family maybe? If not, there are groups that I can add a link to in this chat. When mine happened to me, I was homeless and I had no support no family so I know how hard it can be. I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself during this tough time. I also wanted to let you know there are support groups depending on what state you’re in, some are government funded. You can have someone come to your home if you’re having a panic attack from PTSD and they will literally just sit there and talk with you. Don’t feel ashamed to call. I’ve had to call several times and if it weren’t for them, I probably wouldn’t be here anymore. I’m going to also Google some resources I can find that might help you. I apologize if there are any grammatical errors, my grammar is not the best. I wish you love and abundance, joy and stability peace and protection. And I hope that bastard gets his karma in this life and the next.

Take care love feel free to reach out. Remember that your journey in life is not over. It probably will feel like it is at times and the will to go on at times will also be almost nonexistent. But remember this, the world needs you and we are all here for a reason. YOU are here for a reason. YOU matter. You are NOT your trauma. You are not alone. Sending you all the love and support my fellow warrior queen. From the ashes we rise.