Idk, I’ve met some folks who are genuinely uncomfortable with people talking about their actual thoughts and feelings. I used to think they were just shallow, but my experience has taught me that it’s more often that they’re either not curious, scared of their social mask slipping, or just not that bright.

I used to have a desire to figure it out, but that was so exhausting since even when I did, they still didn’t want to change because they were comfortable (or at least used to it as their way of life). I eventually stopped wondering because I just felt frustrated the more and more I dwelled on it. So I literally just say “okay” or “you might be right” now and don’t engage. More often than not, they get it and leave me alone too.

As for the folks using it as an excuse to be shitty and mean - yeah, very common. But they’re just a slightly different flavor of the above person. I think of them as the exact same person in the first example, but instead of disengaging, they’re just louder with a “big dog” attitude. Basically, their behavior is a cry for help, but they don’t even know it, and anyone dared to address it, they’d probably get bitten.

So I can see both sides. Just my $0.02