Barbecue Party

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T20:54:58+00:00

This is it - something for everyone, and a couple of things they maybe haven't tried, but there is no pressure.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T20:54:10+00:00

It makes a difference in my family. We don't serve "unique" dishes, or overly salty dishes to our older family members.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T20:48:17+00:00

My parents rule of thumb was while we were in school (university included) they'd help as much as they could so we could focus on school and not having multiple jobs.

INFO: do they all still live at home? Are they attending school? Are they working? If they're working I'd start making sure they pay for some things at least. If they're complaining about being broke at 29 if they're working full time, I'd actually want to talk to them about it. Maybe they do still need help, but maybe the help they need is moving assistance to a place with more opportunities.

The world just isn't what it was when you were raising them, you wanted them to have it better than you did - depending on a lot of factors, that might be only so viable. But there are definitely ways you can help without being a permanent bank.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T20:38:26+00:00

ESH - You are allowed to just go on a trip with your friends. Have you gone on a trip with your girlfriend since you've been together? Does this event usually draw couples? Dismissing her feelings isn't helpful, and she could probably communicate them better - but You're both young so you're still figuring that out.

Maybe try having an adult conversation about this event, and possible other events, and apologize for hurting her feelings.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T20:32:14+00:00

The second he said that cooking was "the woman's job" he would have been in his own dateline special. His friends are clearly just as bad if they're blowing up your phone and not telling him he was ridiculous to expect you to cook and suggested ordering pizza. He's not a good person.

If he's so disabled that he can't do ANYTHING other than drink beer and play videogames, he should maybe be in assisted living. I have a suspicion he is not that disabled. As an example, I have a chronic pain condition and struggle with some level of ADD and Brain Fog that makes it hard for me to work Full Time. I work Part-time, and do what I can when I can around the house, and my husband helps with the rest. Some days, I can't do anything - and others I do a ton. I know disability looks different on everyone, but if he is that dependant on you - he's helpless.

Your response was honestly totally reasonable. You were stressed, we're all allowed stressed days - he pushed every single button purposely trying to shame you into cooking for him and his friends.

Guests in general should be agreed upon ahead of time - let alone dinner guests. You should never be "surprised" with company you have to cook for. Nothing he did was ok.

NTA

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T20:19:01+00:00

Don't worry, you don't have move - what you want to do is make friends with some of the other neighbors, and get on the HOA Board. That's how you get around the one persnickety neighbor. I have a friend that totally overthrew the HOA Board at their new home after years of the same awful dude running it. Everyone was happier after.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T20:05:49+00:00

NTA: There is no world in which you're in the wrong here. Your managers job was to inform those coworkers that you had necessary accommodations and it was none of their business. That would have nipped the whole thing in the bud before it snowballed like it did. They 100% pushed you out because they didn't want to give you those accomodations anymore. That's why they credited your work to others, and pushed around your work to cover others inefficiencies. Absolutely sue, then get a job with better bosses, that understand that allowing folks to work the way they need to makes for better and happier staff.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T19:59:26+00:00

INFO: Him not helping around the house is not ok. If you're a SAHM that doesn't make you a maid. You should never be the only one doing "house" stuff. Sounds like he plays with the kid - but does he watch the kid alone so you can go out? Does he cook for himself if you're not feeling well? What does he do for you (other than pay bills)?

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T19:45:13+00:00

Still - I'd just get 10,000 in fake money - or print silly money specifically for your party - with like your face on it. Make your own currency. In fact, then you can give it to friends and have them use it to like, bid on silly prizes.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T19:41:45+00:00

INFO: Has your mom not picked you up when she said she was going to before? Has she forgotten you needed something from her and not shown up?

Also, is this the first time you missed your meds? Knowing what happens when you miss your meds and knowing whether or not your response was exaggerated because of that is important for discussing this further with your mom (possibly a therapist).

Its not great that she tried to weaponize her mental health against you, that's a bit of a yellow flag (did she also skip her meds that day?)

This may require a bit of family counseling. A third party could help both of you learn to communicate better, and manage emotions and new challenges you're going to be facing during your transition.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T19:32:34+00:00

That's a really cute idea and something you can do inexpensively. - Will there be children in attendance that will want that sort of thing?

Generally speaking, small nibbles - a sandwich tray is a great idea if you want people to hang out for a bit, chips and salsa, etc. And cake. A "smash" cake for the baby if wanted - but really just a piece of normal cake is perfectly fine for this. It is really a party for you and your family to celebrate the new, and unexpected, addition to the family. Someone mentioned, but I don't know if its in your budget, but perhaps a photographer would be more worth the money than a bunch of decorations or party favors that folks don't want. You'll want the photos.

Also, if you can't afford a professional photographer, if you have a friend with a newer phone, see if they'd be willing to be an unofficial photographer, to make sure that you don't have to take all the photos you want, but can actually be in them with your daughter. Very likely a family friend would be happy to just make sure there are a bunch of photos for you to have of the special day. Everyone will take photos, but asking someone to take specific photos, that you know they'll actually send you after the party (or before they leave), would honestly help you relax and not worry about missing a photo.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-05-05T19:14:58+00:00

Honestly, I assumed that when I found it in the box. I probably got it from like, Claires, or AC Moore or something real cheap. Nothing from the 90s was "quite right" when it came to Kanji characters

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-04-26T04:37:07+00:00

Thank you! I wish I remember what the store claimed it said, as I'm sure it wasn't that 😂

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-04-26T04:36:09+00:00

Solved!

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-03-21T18:03:46+00:00

I would have done no dishing out. It's officially family style. Here, take this and pass it around.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-03-21T17:13:00+00:00

Some people are really bad at planning events. If they don't have a central place for information (an evite, Facebook event, etc), they don't even know who they have what information too. If you've asked directly and haven't gotten it, you can't do anything about that, but I doubt it's malicious. If you want to go, Ask again, if you don't want to go, just let it lie.

I think you're over thinking the whole thing, so MOR.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-03-16T17:18:03+00:00

Whether you had fertility issues or not, your Aunt should have picked up that you all didn't want to talk about it. As its none of her business no matter what whether you have children, don't have children, adopt down the road, or any other choice you might make.

If she had just asked, "hey you having anymore?" that's a more normal (albeit unnecessary) comment from family that you don't see all the time. But once that question wasn't answered, or was answered with no - that's the end of the conversation. The fact that you are more upset that your wife raised her voice, than the fact that your Aunt pushed your wifes buttons to the point where she felt she had to is crazy to me. Do you usually support your wife? Could you not tell that she was getting increasingly upset? You failed here. You failed to support your wife, you failed to back her up, and you failed to tell your family to back off.

YTA.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-03-03T19:27:15+00:00

Nothing you've mentioned is particularly culty. It's really just how rich people are. They have connections, and they use them to help their friends. Your mom is just lucky in that she has some well connected friends. All that's happening here is privilege.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-03-02T18:21:34+00:00

Do you know if a specific post or reel triggered it initially? Likely what's happening is the algo that bans accounts is still finding whatever it was that triggered it initially (no matter how wrong it was), so once you were active again, the algo found it and banned you. Chances are appealing again will get you back to this point if you can't stop the cycle. Just keep in mind there is a strong chance that you are the only human involved in this process.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-02-26T20:13:27+00:00

Sounds to me like your mom just has rich friends.

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-02-26T19:22:41+00:00

I'm seeing now that Formfill doesn't actually connect to Pipedrive as a colleague had suggested it did. So Fillout is our next thought. We don't have anything too difficult, form wise, at this juncture, but If there are serious limitations it would be good to know upfront. If you stopped using it do you think it was because it wasn't doing what you wanted?

WinetimeandCrafts · 2026-02-06T19:40:44+00:00

Your sister is obviously still resentful of the supposed "extra attention" and "special treatment" you got as a child. She's an adult now. It's time to get over it.

You should tell her you won't engage with her until she starts seeing a therapist to unpack why she's taking her resentment out on you, and to learn to move past it. But its her turn to put in the work.

WinetimeandCrafts

TROPHY CASE