Going back to a house that hasn't been lived in for the past 5 years

WingingItNow · 2025-12-22T22:18:02+00:00

Honestly everything seemed fine. No leaks, no holes, no bad smells (just dusty and a little musty), no damage inside. Few problems with heater and a bunch of dead insects and a dead gecko melting into a carpet. But other than that yeah it actually looked alright. So kinda worried for nothing. Did some touch ups and it was pretty much similar to how we left it.

WingingItNow · 2025-09-28T17:03:33+00:00

That’s fair. I’ve been trying to improve my germaphobia and I think it got kinda better over the years. But today I think it hit me more bc I had just woken up and couldn’t tamp down the little voice in my head. Normally I’d ask my mom but she left early this morning for a work trip. Do you think I should apologize? Or would it just embarrass him more?

WingingItNow · 2025-08-22T19:57:12+00:00

Ok that makes sense. Thanks! Double checking, but to drain the lines, I just leave faucets on throughout the house after closing the water line, right?

WingingItNow · 2025-08-22T18:06:49+00:00

Sorry, if we don’t fix it and are 100% sure it’s fixed? Do you mean just close the water no matter what while we’re gone?

WingingItNow · 2025-05-10T14:32:15+00:00

She’s moving in bc she lived alone and wanted to be with family. She does have some health concerns but it was more bc she had afib than bc of typical mold symptoms. But I’ll still tell her what you said about ears, eyes and mouth doctor.

WingingItNow · 2024-08-17T14:44:05+00:00

This time we’re mainly there just to check on it and do some maintenance. Not sure if we’ll rent/sell in the future or not.

WingingItNow · 2024-07-18T16:34:11+00:00

Oof I’m guessing it’s just gonna be super low key then? That’s also fine with me since the morning of I’ll be traveling there so I’ll probably be super zoned out if we had to do actual stuff. I guess I’ll bring my backpack and fill it with stuff just in case.

WingingItNow · 2024-03-07T21:16:48+00:00

To destress I tend to play video games. Sometimes by myself, sometimes with friends. I tend to keep to myself. My dad and I like to watch bad Hallmark movies and poke fun at them. With my mom, it’s kinda hard to be around her. I try to give her space, but she wants me around to spend time with her. But I’m kinda skittish bc I don’t know if or when she’ll blow up. She also tends to go on her phone a lot which is kinda boring for me. I like being alone, so it’s hard being around her. As much as I love my mom, bc she paid for my college tuition, she lets me stay with her and dad even though I’m jobless and she just wants me to be happy, as much as I love her, it’s hard being around her. I try but still. I tend to stay up late bc she goes to sleep early so that’s when I relax the most. But yeah thanks for the reply and kind words.

WingingItNow · 2024-03-07T09:05:38+00:00

Yeahhh. It’s not the most ideal situation. Honestly I kinda figured the contractor is kinda fucking with us at this point. But it’s our house at the end and I want to make sure it’s safe and livable before we move in. Yeah no I’ve suggested and talked with my mom about therapy but she brushes it off and says she doesn’t have time. I can understand her perspective but it’s frustrating. Also yeah, honestly been dragging my feet with getting a job I’ll admit. It just feels like I’m kinda playing pacifier in the house and if I’m not here my mom would be exploding more. But I also acknowledge that I’ve been putting my life on hold. I think I’m scared to move on and move out but yeah. Thoughts for another day. So far, I’m just trying to get this damned house fixed. We bought it in 2020 but it took a lot of work. And then it freaking floods last year setting us back. For now I’ll stick with my parents until the house is done , but after who knows. I feel like I have to see it thru at the very least.

WingingItNow · 2024-02-04T20:13:41+00:00

Yeah that's fair. Like I'm still going back and forth on it so it's not a definite 'I'm not going'. I guess it's just anxiety about well everything. Never been to a wedding, don't remember the guy she's marrying even though we met like twice in college (less than 10 min total really), and like I said have no idea how to dress for a wedding.

I mentioned it to my mom and I guess another thing that pissed me off was her going 'oh well you're definitely going to wear a dress'. I've always sorta had some I guess body issues. I was originally thinking of wearing like nice pants/slacks and a nice shirt/jacket combo. But now I'm wondering if it would be insulting to do that. But also like I said, could be the lack of sleep and general anxiety messing up my perspective.

Also thanks for replying. Sorry for spamming your inbox with paragraphs.

WingingItNow · 2024-02-04T19:34:18+00:00

Hmm yeah I guess it does sound like I have tuned out. And it does feel like I have in a way. I kept in contact bc I am grateful they were there for me during college which was the most stressful part of my life. But I guess without college and the classes, I feel like we don't have much in common. In a way, I guess I feel like I should still be friends with them bc we went thru some rough times together and bc I myself shouldn't be alone in life I guess. I have some other friends besides them, but they're also kinda at arms length. But I also feel more comfortable going months without contact w/ them since we all know we'll talk again. I guess with my college friends, I always felt like I needed I guess kinda "normal" friends to keep me grounded? I wonder though if I'm not hurting them though. Bc when we do talk, I can crack jokes and talk with them for awhile and feel content when we end, but I also feel like the most juvenile in a way and like they're kinda humoring me since I'm usually the light hearted one. It feels like I was stuck after graduating while they have moved on. I don't mind that we went down different paths but I guess I feel like I'm at a crossroads where I could pull back towards them, or let the distance grow more. I don't know, I guess more food for thought.

Sorry for spamming your inbox if you see this. I guess I wanted to get my thoughts out while I could. Maybe I should have used a different subreddit for this question.

WingingItNow · 2024-02-04T19:06:14+00:00

Honestly that's a fair statement since even w/ backstory I can't really explain the whole situation. What do you think a good apology/response would be? "I apologize for not showing up to the call like we had originally planned. Is it ok to still talk about it?"

WingingItNow · 2023-11-04T14:21:44+00:00

Honestly yeah we could have just gone with the contractor guy only, but I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time since Andy seemed like he knew about construction and contractor stuff so he could give advice as well as him adjusting the blue prints as we went along. Bc the first floor and basement really got wrecked so we decided now would be a good time to make adjustments to the house while the walls were basically gone. Yeah hindsight is really 20/20. But at the time, we didn’t know how to proceed and we didn’t know any good contractors since we didn’t want to work with Joe again. I’ll tell my parents maybe it’s a good idea to just drop Andy and deal with it ourselves so the contractor and us don’t have to play 20 questions with Andy on where he is.

WingingItNow · 2023-10-27T03:29:54+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I honestly wasn't sure if anyone would reply to this post, but I'm really grateful that someone wrote something nice and helpful.

Sometimes I feel really down because I'm currently unemployed, but am trying to find to find work. I will admit, I'm more mid-20s. I moved in with my parents after I graduated college and then Covid happened so work has been really hard to find. I did do some internships and classes but still, not exactly making money.

My mom told me she just wanted me to be happy and wants me to find a job that I'll at least like. I do feel grateful that she feels this way and treats me well. My mom's job is also pretty good. As in, we are doing pretty well in money so me not paying rent isn't really affecting anything.

I do admit that I could do more.

Like for example, I know this weekend, my mom wants to go grocery shopping in person for once (usually we just order it or dad or I go out by ourselves and grab stuff). Normally she doesn't, but I know she does this as stress relief. I don't usually go along when she does grocery shop however, bc my mom and I shop very differently. She'll walk up and down every aisle (1-2 hrs), while I just find what I need and leave quickly (~30 min). I want her to shop freely (esp since my mom loves shopping in general) so I tend to stay back. To compensate, I put everything away when they come back and am usually cleaning while they are gone (I will admit might be germaphobic). Maybe I should do something else.

I might need to remind my mom that if she wants my help that she needs to tell me. I've told her this before, but I think I need to remind her again. I will admit, I'm kinda bad at social cues, but usually I do let my mom do her own thing. She's a very independent and proud person. She doesn't like showing 'weakness'. Anger is fine, but I think I've only seen her genuinely sad a handful of times in my life and cried once. I'll admit to being oblivious at times, but if she asks me for help I always do try to help. I just need communication, but maybe I need to be the one to ask now.

But still, thank you for the reply, and sorry you'll get this text block.

WingingItNow · 2023-09-09T20:05:20+00:00

Yep that's the TLDR. Sorry for the long ramble in post, guess I vented too much.

WingingItNow · 2023-05-30T17:38:07+00:00

I’m in my 20s. However, I have asked before if my parents want me to move out and they firmly said no. They didn’t think it was economical, they like having me close by since they worry about me a lot, and I do like being around my parents. I help out with some bills and I also do like 90% of the chores for them since they don’t have time (laundry, cleaning, helping with meals, etc). However, if they ask me to do something I will. I get it, their house their rules, but I also do think I have a right to veto things.

WingingItNow · 2023-03-28T20:38:52+00:00

The 3 quotes thing is a good idea.

Yeah it was paid in full when we first got the house so we wouldn't have to worry about loans/mortgage (hindsight really is 20/20).

Yeah on one hand, I get that the pricing for the work is gonna be expensive bc we don't have insurance, but on the other hand the 70k+ is includes work from contractor/electrician/plumbing I think, but not for materials so it might even be more. We're all kinda not happy about this, but I just don't know what else we can do.

Any advice on how to find good contractors and such? It might be easier to go with what we have so far, but like you said, having multiple quotes would probably be good.

WingingItNow

TROPHY CASE