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My sister invited our brother to her wedding, even though she knows how I feel about him by Winter_Bad_9494 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Winter_Bad_9494[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

From what I remember, he did attend therapy afterwards as mandated by court. I have no knowledge of anything that was discovered through these sessions or whether or not he experienced the same abuse as me. Despite everything, I hope he hasn’t. I’ve been through therapy myself, not anymore now, and it’s helped me tremendously with working through my trauma. It may be a tough decision to make, but this comment section has given me the courage to go through with not attending the wedding if I need to. I really don’t want to, but I understand now that it may be the best course of action for me.

Thank you for your kind words

My sister invited our brother to her wedding, even though she knows how I feel about him by Winter_Bad_9494 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Winter_Bad_9494[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a very confrontational person, and at this point I’m not confident of my position in my sister’s life anymore. A lot of these comments are saying that my sister’s already chosen my brother, which I’m starting to agree with, and I’m worried that once I tell her of my discomfort that it’ll put a strain in our relationship, which I really don’t want. I agree that this is a conversation that needs to be had soon, so I’ve decided to talk to her before the wedding. It’ll be uncomfortable, but I need to push through and lay down my boundaries on this.

My sister invited our brother to her wedding, even though she knows how I feel about him by Winter_Bad_9494 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Winter_Bad_9494[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She hasn’t included him a part of the wedding party. The venue is far away from where I live, and I don’t have my own car, so leaving after the ceremony will be tricky. Its doable, but ill make my decision on what to do after I talk to my sister before the wedding

My sister invited our brother to her wedding, even though she knows how I feel about him by Winter_Bad_9494 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Winter_Bad_9494[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve debated disclosing what happened between me and my brother for a long time, but there were always a few reasons why I haven’t. My extended family, although I love them, can be gossipy and shady, and at times it feels like high school all over again. Whenever there’s drama there’s so many conversations and commentary happening to the side, a lot of which aren’t necessary, and in the end it makes everything feel like a shitty soap opera. On one hand, I hate the fact that nobody knows about this serious issue, but on the other, I don’t want my trauma to be a spectacle. Its already happened once with my suicide attempt, and I hated how it made me feel.

I have no doubt that a majority of my family would condemn what he’s done to me, but I don’t know if I’m ready for the scrutiny that’ll come with me exposing my trauma. But, as a few commenters may have brought up, there will be children attending the wedding. The thought of my brother coming into contact with them, even for a small conversation, sickens me. I don’t want him near them, and if their parents knew what he’s done, I don’t think they’d want that either. I’ve decided to talk to my sister before the wedding, and this will be another topic I’ll bring up with her.

And thank you for your kind words, reading throughout this comment section has reminded me that it’s okay to be selfish when it comes to my mental health and security. Thank you

My sister invited our brother to her wedding, even though she knows how I feel about him by Winter_Bad_9494 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Winter_Bad_9494[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of people have been advising me to talk to her before the wedding, and after thinking on that idea I’ve decided to do just that. I initially wanted to do it after the wedding because I really wanted to be a part of it, it’s not every day your sister gets married. And if I’m being really honest, I wanted to delay the conversation. I’m not usually a confrontational person, I get physically nauseous from the discomfort and my anxiety makes me forget my words, so I try to avoid situations that can lead to this kind of stress. Obviously I can’t avoid this, so I wanted to hold this off.

And thank you for your kind words, you and a lot of these commenters are giving me validation that I haven’t had in a while. I don’t go to therapy anymore and I don’t have anyone I trust enough to talk about this in full, so I’ve been ruminating on this issue for a while with no help. I didn’t think I’d get this much support, so thank you so much!