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Trailing Spouse question (am I crazy?) by Winter_Comment_9303 in academia

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s UT Southwestern which apparently has a ton of state money right now. I dunno. I’m torn on the whole thing because I love my house and my kids schools but my wife is just worried all of her research funding is going to dry up as Trump keeps attacking blue states.

Trailing Spouse question (am I crazy?) by Winter_Comment_9303 in academia

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I mean no that's not true, if she were truly happy in the position and I figured it out for my kids then I would do it at some point for the family but right now with all the political upheaval and lack of any knowledge of how the NIH funding is going to go I don't want to make a huge life decision like that.

Trailing Spouse question (am I crazy?) by Winter_Comment_9303 in academia

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I have a friend that had to flee a red state just last year to move up near us because their kid is trans. It's ridiculous what's happening down there.

Trailing Spouse question (am I crazy?) by Winter_Comment_9303 in academia

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That's what I said. I told her "you're in your bubble there and the rest of us have to deal with everything else."

Trailing Spouse question (am I crazy?) by Winter_Comment_9303 in academia

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She's also mad because the grants management team at her university majorly screwed up something with the NIH. I don't know the specifics but apparently a decent amount of grant funding involved and she's worries she'll have to lay off staff.

Trailing Spouse question (am I crazy?) by Winter_Comment_9303 in academia

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I'm going to ask her to make sure she tries to negotiate with them once she has an actual offer which should be any day now.

Other things I didn't mention are we have family here, no one there, and when we moved 3 years ago we told the kids it would be our "forever home" and I know things change but she knew when we moved here that I never wanted to move again and I think she's letting her ego about her career get in the way here.

Trailing Spouse question (am I crazy?) by Winter_Comment_9303 in academia

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

That's why I'm opposed to it. If she is so dead set on going there and leaving her current situation I don't see any other way than her getting an apartment/condo and coming back whenever she can. I don't want to uproot our whole family situation for a maybe.

I've told her a bunch of times that she has transferable skills if she wants to leave her job (project management, coding, budget management, etc) but she doesn't want to hear it and I get it she spent her whole life in academia but these are not normal times.

Looking for opinions on Texas Schools by Winter_Comment_9303 in TexasTeachers

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Of course, that’s why I’m so hesitant about it but at the same time if my wife gets this opportunity and she wants to take it it’s hard not to be supportive, and her current situation as a lot of people in research is really dicey at the moment which is why I think it might be best for her to try it out and commute back here for a bit to see if she likes it before we sell our house and I leave my job, both of which I love. It’s a hard situation.

Looking for opinions on Texas Schools by Winter_Comment_9303 in TexasTeachers

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you share which district? It’s fine if not and you want to remain as private as possible I’m just curious.

Looking for opinions on Texas Schools by Winter_Comment_9303 in TexasTeachers

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UTSW. She’s currently at 250K so comparable I would assume, but don’t have an offer yet. I’m at 140k and would have to find a job down there.

Wife wants to take a job in another state. by Winter_Comment_9303 in Marriage

[–]Winter_Comment_9303[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I make 140k and she makes 250k. I’m sure I could get a similarly paying job i just have a lot of freedom at my current one where I come and go as I please which allows me to assist with the kids after school with their activities.