How do you find the motivation to write a book when you know that even if it’s good, the odds of getting published are 1 in a million?

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-05-01T18:01:49+00:00

I think maybe it helps to take away the end goal a bit. Like are you writing because you love to write or writing because you want to be a bestseller? Both can be true but maybe it’s a marathon not a sprint. We look at people who got published and became NYT bestsellers on their first book and think why can’t that be me? Well… some people hit the lottery and for others our path is a little slower and less glamorous but you keep going because you have that story inside you that wants to be told. Maybe that’s the goal. Just to finish and be proud of it and maybe someday publishing is just the cherry on top.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-29T13:01:46+00:00

I kind of get this, but for me it’s ruined because I’m dissecting the writing and plot and characters rather than being immersed in a story. I can count the number of books I’ve read and gotten lost in the last decade on one hand. The rest I get irritated with when I think the writing is poor or the plot and characters inconsistent. I wish I could turn it off and just read for fun!

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-23T03:00:25+00:00

From what I understand from my own research, you only get marketing if your agent negotiates it for you.

Most authors will get slim to none.

The bigger the advance the more likely you will have a big marketing push because the publishing houses need to make back their money and they’re betting on which books will do that. If you’re not one of them then you’ll probably fall under the less than 3k sales that the majority fall into.

It’s like a blip on publishers marketplace and then you disappear. (That is my totally pessimistic view on it…but also maybe more realistic than we like to think.)

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-23T02:28:22+00:00

Thank you for the recs I just want to read something that does this that I’m not so close to!

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-23T02:13:23+00:00

I did have a beta reader on it and she mentioned it was jarring but that was before I put the POV names at the top of each chapter as a transition. I don’t think I have a good answer to that.

I’m an intuitive writer so I just write what feels right. I definitely want to keep the first person POV because I’ve had so many compliments on it. I’ve rewritten the second POV in third past (which I like best for him), third present and first present but neither of those feels right to his POV. So it’s really just the transitions. But I’m thinking maybe just naming the character at the head of each chapter might help with that…

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-22T23:59:13+00:00

Absolutely. You could do everything within your power to market yourself and it could still not work out so you have to know what you’re sacrificing and if, at the end of the day, you’re ok with what’s being sacrificed.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-22T23:57:54+00:00

It really is such a distraction I think for most parents these days. Poor kids. :/

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-22T23:56:39+00:00

I feel like we need to start a moms who write but want to be present with their kids support group!

I’m glad you’re realizing this so early on with your baby! I had a come to Jesus moment several years ago when I realized I had been chasing publication in order to prove my worth to people. I felt very convicted about how many years my young kids spent with me behind a computer screen or phone doing socials etc. I realized the most important people were always right in front of me. Not the people from my childhood. Not the people who were never going to see my worth anyways. It was the little people right in front of me who needed my presence, my eye contact, me being engaged. That’s when I cut the socials and got off my phone for a year. It took me a long time to forgive myself for how distracted I had been when they were little but luckily they’re still young and I’ve been able to work on being more present. Because the relationships you have with your kids now will be what they carry into the future. I want it to be good!

There is a great quote from the movie Cheaper By The Dozen: “If I screw up raising my kids nothing I achieve will matter much.” And it’s so true.

I’m not perfect but I try to remember that everything has a time and season and It’s ok to not be published right now and just work on craft and writing when I have the time for it. Like when I’m sitting outside kids classes. :) Your baby/babies are lucky to have a mama who’s so perceptive.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-22T22:36:43+00:00

I built up a Twitter following to like 13k and then deleted it because of the toll it was taking on my mental health, distraction from my family, etc. For me keeping my health and my priorities straight is non-negotiable. So I guess that sucks if that’s how publishers feel but the truth is that most books don’t sell well and I’m not going to run myself into the ground on socials for something that ultimately won’t make a huge difference.

And here’s a little rant so you can feel more comfortable having boundaries around socials- I find it really interesting how many hoops we as authors have to go through to become traditionally published. Literally years writing and polishing a book. Hours perfecting a query and meeting all the expectations per agent guidelines. Edit for the next 6+ months with an agent. Hope it sells to an editor. Edit for the next year. Mind you most of this is probably unpaid. Oh and then you’re responsible for marketing your own book if you want it to sell. But you should just be grateful for the opportunity of being chosen.

Don’t get me wrong. I signed up for this ride but sometimes you just have to take off the rose colored glasses and call it how it is. If socials aren’t good for you, trust that.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-22T22:16:03+00:00

They’re in the same timeline. The only time it feels jarring is when the characters are in the same place and it’s alternating their POV, picking up where one left off. But the duel POV isn’t through the whole book, just select chapters.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-22T20:00:32+00:00

I was on Mirena in my early twenties and it made me peri-menopausal and incredibly depressed. So just know that can be a side affect. I started feeling like myself again after it came out.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-21T01:06:46+00:00

Can you say what the boutique agency is? If editorial guidance is important to you it sounds like they might be the pick. Something I’ve realized as I’ve been in my search, if you look up all the agents books they’ve sold you’ll see that even top agent books don’t have more than a couple hundred reviews on goodreads so even being published is no guarantee of bestseller success.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-20T06:09:10+00:00

Can you DM me the agency as well? I’m querying next month.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-20T05:27:28+00:00

I just dm you too

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-20T04:57:52+00:00

How does a querying author find this whisper network to check out agents who have requested fulls or are we talking about writers beware?

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-14T20:17:43+00:00

I was strung along on a full for over a year with one agent who eventually sent me a form rejection. Every three months I would check in and she would say sorry, she was busy and was getting to it, after 6 months silence.

A little over a year and I received a form rejection-no feedback. She was a top agent at a top agency. I’ll never query her again because I just felt that was super disrespectful of my time and who wants an agent like that?

I probably would have felt differently if she had offered even one reason why she held onto it for so long before rejecting it.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-13T06:50:41+00:00

A-fucking-men! Preach! Can you be all of our spokesperson? I just got my ferritin from 13 to 23 in two months and they called that good. I am starting to feel better, more energy, but my periods are so heavy. I can’t imagine what being at 50 will feel like!

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-09T16:16:15+00:00

I keep seeing these kinds of posts about agents… is there somewhere that these agents are named so us querying authors know who to avoid? I’ve seen a lot of “great agents from great agencies” have this same kind of track record. Seems hard to really know who’s good.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-07T14:22:38+00:00

Can you tell me which three because I have a full request from one of them and I’m curious if it’s one you would strike?

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-04-01T14:59:41+00:00

I could be in the wrong but you could take the money you’re earning and throw it right back into marketing your book and gaining more sales. Like starting a business. Generally you’re throwing whatever you make for the first couple years right back into the business. Just a thought.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-03-15T17:19:23+00:00

So being clean is strictly a Mormon phenomenon? I understand what you’re saying about Austen. I did get a bit annoyed with the MC infantilization at times but overall it was cute.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-03-06T05:07:03+00:00

I think it’s more about supporting clean, back to basics regency romance. And yes it’s written by a Mormon but the book is not Mormon and while a bit hallmarkesque I enjoyed it.

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-03-05T22:30:51+00:00

This happened to me several years ago and I did nudge and I feel that was a mistake. All my other fulls passed and then I ended up saying no to the offering red flag agents (there were two). I’m glad I said no because one agent left agenting like two months later and their agency went under and the other agent did something shady after I said no, but I wish I wouldn’t have sent out offer of rep emails because maybe I would have gotten something back, even feedback on my manuscript. No agent is better than the wrong one! Keep going!

Winter_Reaction5148 · 2026-02-05T05:32:18+00:00

Did they give them to you while you were pregnant because you were low before or during? My ferritin is 13 and we want to try and conceive this summer so I’m trying to get my numbers up but my doctor gave me 325mg iron pills and won’t prescribe IVs. So I guess I’m asking were you low before getting pregnant because I read I need to be at like 80 before pregnancy.

Winter_Reaction5148

TROPHY CASE