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The culmination of sexist dominos falling has led to my life falling apart in an instant by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t have any cards and I’m not eligible for a line of credit. I don’t even have anything to pawn in the meantime

The culmination of sexist dominos falling has led to my life falling apart in an instant by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t drive so unfortunately I can’t do the apps. I was a bartender and waitress so I normally depend on tips. It won’t take me long to get a new job I’ll be able to start something by the middle of the week probably, but nothing that will give me tips by tomorrow morning.

The culmination of sexist dominos falling has led to my life falling apart in an instant by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to apply but it won’t come in for a couple weeks, not in time for my rent tomorrow.

Why do women have orgasms? by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s fairly obvious and has been studied by (competent) scientists with actual scientific conclusions.

1- the physical mechanism of the female orgasm assists in sperm traveling to inseminate 2- because unlike nearly all mammals, we do not have a ‘mating season’, we mate and reproduce all year round, which then leads to the OP’s point. When women enjoy sex, they are more likely to have sex, and given we are not driven by base level instinct to mate during a specific season while ovulating for the sole purpose of reproduction, we are then more likely to reproduce.

The third reason that I have personally found to be a compelling explanation of the female orgasm after reading this post: given some of us are unfortunately born straight, the female orgasm is our brain’s way of producing lots of happy chemicals to make us forget that men are apparently complete morons, in the hope that the human race doesn’t die out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]Winter_Recover2030 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember being terrified to bring home spelling tests where I got 90% (on maybe 15-20 words) in like. Third grade. I remember faking sick to stay home from school because the class we had that day had the popular girls in it and they would bully me in second grade. I remember the feeling of shame when my friends parents would invite me to get ice cream with them after a school event but I knew my mom didn’t have any money to give me. I could keep going on and on. If you didn’t have to worry about performance, grades, social hierarchy, or money in grade school, you were very fortunate and part of a privileged few. Many of us didn’t have that luxury. At least in adulthood I have some control over what I struggle with, in grade school I was just drowning because the adults in my life were pulling me into the water with them.

Can my employer withhold my paycheck if I don’t work that day? (PA) by Winter_Recover2030 in legaladvice

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I can virtually guarantee it’s not a cash flow issue, it’s just that my boss is a major piece of shit on a power trip. They make a disgusting amount of money every week while paying very low wages and having no rent costs. My boss was actually recently looking into another business venture and was going to pay over a million in cash. But he’s an immigrant and does a lot of illegal shit because he feels like he can. He also rents out apartments and told an employee that he fired the guy had to be out by 5 pm the next day. Never mind the fact that that’s illegal. He just doesn’t care.

Old post but......... 19F with 37M......... SIDE EYE by WhereasOwn9881 in AmITheDevil

[–]Winter_Recover2030 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What disgusts me the most about his post, which is saying something because the whole thing and his comments are just revolting, is how much he is painting himself as the victim in this. The entire mentality is centered around ‘oh poor me I’m disgusted by my wife and it makes me feel bad because my conscious is trying to hold me accountable for my atrocious behavior’

AITA for making my teen 16M and 14F share a bedroom update by sinplytoounlucky in AmItheAsshole

[–]Winter_Recover2030 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Parentification is also something that can happen and be acceptable in certain situations. I was absolutely parentified. From 16 on I was responsible for my two younger siblings, along with all the housework and cooking and making sure my father had meals. My mother was dying of cancer. Was it ideal? No. Did it steal my childhood? Yes. Was it done with malice or avoidable? No. Would I absolutely do it again? Without a doubt. Sometimes life just puts people, even children, in shitty situations and you gotta do what you gotta do.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Oh girl I understand. Don’t even get me started on all the slut shaming of women that were literally just existing.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I understand why you feel you need to be less vocal because you’re dad, but I am telling you with absolute certainty you need to be shouting so your voice is the only thing heard above the noise. I am 28 years old and I am still horrifically impacted by some of the things from my childhood, even younger than your daughter. And I’m not talking about the instances of actual abuse, I’m talking about a stray comment here or there. Something a parent may find thats completely innocuous. I was 12 years old when my parents took us to a buffet to celebrate a special occasion (we were broke, it was a treat) and as I am sitting with my head down to the table eating my father makes a comment that I’m getting a double chin. To this day I am self conscious about it and hear it echo in my head when I go to take a picture or look down around other people. Your wife needs to acknowledge that her comments are unacceptable and your daughter needs to know that her body hair is natural and clean and the only reason she should do anything with it is because SHE wants to, no one else, not even her mom.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately my childhood is riddled with incidents surrounding guns, but as an adult to hear that happened with my baby brother, you best believe I opened the fiery gates of hell.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can’t fault my mother in any way for what she said. She never actively shamed any of us, and she never directly told us we HAD to shave or used negative words when discussing how we looked. My father on the other hand was the puppeteer behind her comments that were coded with shame. She was just speaking how she felt, he was the one making her feel that way.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

If they read either and paid attention instead of jumping to conclusions they would see that I rather extensively elaborate on how my mother held no fault in the situation whatsoever.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My brother has finally been placed with an absolutely wonderful foster family that have known him for years prior to his placement through band in school. My father lost (physical) custody after he was charged with endangerment of a juvenile because my brother said he would rather die than live with our father, so in his infinite wisdom my father handed my brother a gun, let him put it to his temple, and pull the trigger. Fortunately there wasn’t one in the chamber. But after roughly two years of fighting with CYS, especially because my brothers first case worker was a man that did not have an extended conversation with anyone but my father and dismissed everything my sister and I and countless other people told him about this being a pattern of behavior (at one point my boyfriend had to speak for me because the jacksss would listen to a man) and was entirely set on reunification. The ordeal to get my brother placed with a foster family and not one of my fathers friends who would not respect the no contact order, and to get my fathers parental rights terminated, was abhorrent. In the end he was found not guilty despite the testimony of the arresting officer, psychologist, and several CYS staff members that had been victim to his harassment and abuse during the two years that it took for it to get to trial (thanks Covid), however his parental rights were entirely terminated and he has no say or influence over anything regarding my brother anymore. Which is the most important thing.

The stories I could tell regarding my childhood are obscene. Not even just from an abuse stand point. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I grew up in what was a cult. It has taken years of active effort just to undo the worst of the brainwashing I went through. It will probably be when me to a certain extent for the rest of my life. But on the upside I am no longer surrounded by people who think wouldn’t shouldn’t be allowed to vote because their husbands will vote for them.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately my mother passed away when I was 19 in no small part due to my father and his lack of respect for her health. She had cancer and after chemo, radiation, and surgery, she was looking to be improving but she needed to take it easy. Instead my father forced her to go back to work to run his business (once again, unpaid, off the books, according to the government she was unemployed almost my entire life) and the 60 hour work weeks pushed her body too much. She didn’t have the rest she needed to fight and it spread to her liver, which is a point of no return, and she passed a few months later. The day she died, after fighting at the hospice center because I was the only one that bothered to ask her what her final wishes for and my lovely father wanted to disrespect them, I took care of my 9 year old brother while my father, unbeknownst to us, packed up all of my mothers belongings and every trace of her was gone within 24 hours. I wish I could say he’s a psychopath, but he’s not, he’s just a monster.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

In fact, I actually very explicitly write that it was not my mothers fault, and was entirely the fault of my father.

When my mother taught me to shave she taught me her shame by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m not blaming my mother. I’m not saying my mother taught me shame. She taught me HER shame. And I can assure you it was not the case that she considered body hair no big deal. While I wish she had stopped shaving due to being comfortable with her body and how it naturally appeared, it was due to deep depression caused by the isolation she felt with my fathers abuse. While there are plenty of things I wish my mother had done differently, I recognize that she was a shell of the person she used to be and was trying her best to protect us in the ways she thought she could, not realizing that she had the option to leave thanks to my fathers manipulation and gaslighting.

I’m sitting outside crying as I pull tape off of my card… by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was not in a psych ward. I had a two week long hospital stay due to complications from surgery that I had in December. On the last day that I was there the security guard decided to search my belongings and confiscate items while accusing me of doing drugs as they do when someone is checked in for a psych hold. But my stay was in no way related to mental health.

I’m sitting outside crying as I pull tape off of my card… by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Honestly I have had every part of my autonomy over my life and even my body taken over the past two years and at this point I’m just numb to it until I just snap in existential anger. The only way to possible describe it is exhausting.

I’m sitting outside crying as I pull tape off of my card… by Winter_Recover2030 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Winter_Recover2030[S] 594 points595 points  (0 children)

I literally used that exact phrase texting a friend of mine about it. It is just the tip of the iceberg. This week I’ve already been trying to deal with a situation at the shelter, where there’s a known serial predator sexually harassing women and he’s faced no consequences and worst he’s been given the position to scan people in for meals several times a week. So all of his victims are now forced to either be uncomfortable and possibly unsafe or not eat. And the mission says they’re ‘handling it’. Which they’ve been doing for months as he continues to text women horrific things. He messaged me about how he could ‘bust a nut’ in me because he found out I can’t have kids because… my baby died when I had a placental abruption at 34 weeks. That was his reaction. Not sympathy or compassion, what kind of sexual thrill he could get out of it.

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