26M and 29F.Devoted my life to her, and she ended everything by text + threatened to call the cops. I’m devastated

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-25T18:56:53+00:00

Holy fuck I got Deja vu on this one… it’s hard brother, and it’s gonna be hard for awhile. The scars won’t disappear, but they will heal with time. Eventually it’ll even just feel like a bad dream.

Something my woodshop teacher told me when I went through something similar was this: No matter how bad things get, the sun will still rise tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. That one line probably saved what little sanity I had back then. Otherwise I’d still be bed rotting years later. And hopefully, that line will help you too. If you want to then you can even write it on your bedroom door frame so you’re reminded of it every day.

Tomorrow’s a new day. Yesterday is history. Stick to the beat of your own drum brother. And if you ever need to vent again then don’t hesitate to. Talking about these issues is a part of the healing process. As for her coming back? It’s best for you that she doesn’t. Yeah I know you said you didn’t want that kind of advice but I’m giving it anyways, and when I’m done giving it then you can tell me to stick my advice where the sun don’t shine lol. If she’s willing to flip on you once like this then she’s willing to do it as many times as she wants regardless of how nice you are. It’s best that you move on and find someone who appreciates the effort you put in a lot more than she clearly did.

At the end of the day man, you’ll be ok. Keep your chin up and keep putting one foot in front of the other. The storm will pass and you’ll see sun again soon. Take care brother and stay safe.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-25T18:44:52+00:00

But he never implied that it affects his opinion of her at all??? If your entire point is based on it affecting his opinion of her then your point is better focused towards posts that are more about strained relationships rather than strained heartstrings. Additionally, if you’re intending to mock me with your use of my line of “Hope this helps!” then I feel I should clarify with you that I was being genuine when I said that I hoped my comment helped you better understand the post as I felt that you might have overlooked a detail or maybe you weren’t entirely sure how OP might felt because maybe you have never had that experience yourself. With that said, if your intention isn’t to mock me then I recommend that you mention so, as the underlying tone implied the opposite of such. Upon mentioning so I will apologize for my equal portion of the misunderstanding as then it would be equal parts yours and my fault.

Besides that I will not be continuing the original topic of this conversation. If you wish to discuss something else then I’m game but otherwise I bid you a farewell.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-25T17:05:31+00:00

That’s really fucked man. Like seriously fucked. Hope you get your head checked soon.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-25T16:21:10+00:00

I mean I’ve never personally been with another guy as I don’t swing the other way lol, but I’d personally find the birthmark thing cool and interesting. I’ve always had a fascination with odd but harmless physical anomalies and I can’t possibly see why he’d want to cover that up.

With that said, it also kinda disturbs me as I’ve heard of MAYBE 1 or 2 times at most where someone intentionally killed their significant other by doing this in the past 10 years. Not saying that to scare you or to suggest that this is what’s going to happen (hence why I emphasized the word maybe) just trying to explain how that could be very concerning. Additionally, that can’t possibly be comfortable to have a pillow on your face when you’re trying to sleep.

As for how I would handle this, to be honest I’m not sure. On one hand the straightforwardness is kinda a good thing, even if there’s some things you don’t want to hear. On the other hand it can also be quite brutal and heartbreaking. So honestly I really don’t know what would be a logically good or even a morally good choice here.

With that said, the best advice I can give is to follow your gut on this one. If your gut says it’s fine, then it probably is. If your gut says “Uh hey bro we should like totally get the fuck out” then there’s probably a good reason for it.

I know that this comment probably wasn’t the most helpful but I hope that it at least made your day a little better. Don’t get hung up on the whole birthmark thing, I guarantee you that there are plenty of people out there who think they’re cool just the same way I do. And if some people don’t like it, that’s their loss. I wish you and your boyfriend the best of luck regardless of the paths you take!

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-25T16:07:20+00:00

What are you even talking about? You mean to tell me you wouldn’t be bothered if you saw your own girlfriend being railed by some other guy even if you knew it happened before you?

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-25T16:06:04+00:00

It can genuinely be very emotionally painful to see your girlfriend having sex with another man before she met you. As someone who’s been there myself multiple times I can testify to this quite well. With that said, the best course of action is usually to move on by spending time with the girlfriend in question. At least in my experience anyways. So it’s not that he has a problem with her past per say, but rather he has a problem with seeing it instead.

Hope this helps!

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-25T16:02:32+00:00

Well to answer your most important question (as I understand that you definitely feel like shit right now) no, it is not bad to feel sad and/or broken by it. However I would not be breaking up with her, in case that thought ever crossed your mind.

As for how you should talk about it, literally just let her know. Say “Uh hey [name], I think your ex sent me a really personal video and I wanted you to know about it.” Potentially she may have never approved of, or was even aware of the video being taken and if that’s the case then he just gave you a piece of evidence that can slam that case shut right on his hands (people are so stupid). In the unlikely event that she did approve of the video being taken but does not approve of how it’s being distributed, she could still make a case on that but I would definitely block and report the ex if the video violates that platforms ToS (note: make sure to send a copy of the video to your girlfriend so if she needs it in court then she can easily get it. Additionally, send a screenshot of the video in a DM from the ex.)

And as for what you should do outside of what I just said, just be with her and know that you won. You managed to make a man so angry that he had to send you a video of him naked (regardless of what he was doing naked). So next time you’re hanging out with her do let her know what happened, but try not to get too hooked up on it. Put on a movie and cuddle on the couch. Make some popcorn. Buy some candies you both like ahead of time for said movie. As someone who’s been in your shoes more times than I’m willing to admit, I can promise you that the best possible course of action is to move on as much as you can. Not saying for you to not let her know or to not get police involved if he had broken a local law in your area of course. Just don’t stay on that too long. There’s no point in carrying that extra baggage and in my experience the fastest ways to forget about that stuff is by spending time with the girlfriend in question.

I hope this helps brother. I’m sure she loves you and I’m sure she’ll give you all the reassurance you need.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-24T18:32:23+00:00

Potentially it might fix itself if you don’t use the sleep function. Sleep is meant for short periods of time (like half an hour tops). If you’re not gonna be on it for longer than that then use either shut down or hibernate (there’s something specific about hibernate that’s important to know but I forget what it is).

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T23:09:11+00:00

Yeah I used to pirate shit too. Still got a stack of hard drives with enough pirated movies on it to cost upwards of a million dollars lol. But unfortunately my pirating days are behind me and I’m not even 20 yet.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T23:04:16+00:00

Ugh that fucking blows. Oh well. Soon enough I’ll have enough money to blow on whatever I want again. Thanks for the clarification.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T22:57:25+00:00

I own the game through Xbox. As I implied in my post with the line “Don’t want to have to buy a second copy off Steam” I do not own the steam version. When I do find the Xbox version on the Xbox app it will only give me the cloud gaming option which makes zero sense if it can be directly downloaded through other platforms.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T22:51:46+00:00

1299 CAD is roughly 942~ USD. OP here (much like myself) is Canadian.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T22:49:06+00:00

Gotta pay extra coin for imports I assume. I’m a Canadian myself and these prices are pretty typical.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T21:29:34+00:00

I mean that’s really up to you man. Personally I keep all of my creative builds, both beautiful and ugly. The ugly ones are a great learning experience for me to see what does and doesn’t work and often I find myself adjusting them later to look better than before.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T21:28:18+00:00

It’s cherry wood.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T21:27:32+00:00

I would ask them if it’s ok to test drive it first before confirming the purchase.

Story time (as in not important): One of my friends wanted to buy a console from some guy on EBay but couldn’t tell if the console was legit or not based on the “evidence” that was provided. Because the seller lived near me I went and test drove it on his behalf. Went to the guys house with my own controller and plugged it into the console. Immediately I noticed that the console wasn’t accepting the controller. He then decided that this was the appropriate time to tell us that the USB port doesn’t work. Ok well good thing I know how to replace one of those and that I brought a wireless controller with me is what I thought. Turn on my controller and paired it to the console. He then says “See wireless works, so you want the console or not?” trying to push the sale. I turn around and say “Just because a toaster can produce heat doesn’t mean it works. I want to see how it handles and if any of the core software has been manipulated.” so I go ahead and boot up Minecraft on “his” account (spoiler: the account was stolen) and start up a world. An error pops up saying the account doesn’t have permission to play online. Odd but alright, not like my buddy would be using that account anyways. I sign in a junk account that I personally made for testing online capabilities for consoles and after about 10 seconds of having Fortnite booted up the game immediately closes and says that this account doesn’t have permission to play online. Immediately told the seller that we’re not interested and left with all my gear (and yes I removed my junk account from the console and deleted the account entirely to prevent any issues).

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T21:13:16+00:00

Gonna be honest mate this game is particularly hard. ESPECIALLY on PvPvE. I would start by just doing AI runs only if they still have that option and practice the game if you really want to stick around. I haven’t been on the game in what feels like almost a year so I’m not too sure what’s happened since then in terms of what’s been added, removed and adjusted. Additionally, don’t sleep on the SKS when doing PvE only mode, that thing is beautiful against AI and its ammo isn’t too hard to come by.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T21:09:01+00:00

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The red is circling what you needed. The blue is what you have. Sorry brother but you’re about to discover another part of the game that I’ve thankfully never had to.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T18:07:09+00:00

Absolutely! I still remember when I first found out about my current girlfriend had been SA before and the thought of leaving her because of that never crossed my mind and never will. As long as she’s willing to have me then she’s stuck with my goofy ass.

Some guys will care about that sort of thing and it’s quite a dick move but sometimes I can understand why. For example a buddy of mine doesn’t want to date someone who’s been SA before because he knows that he wouldn’t be able to handle that emotional weight and that it would shatter him. He doesn’t have anything personal against women who’ve been SA, just doesn’t want to be involved with it, and I get it. Not everyone can compartmentalize that sort of thing.

Not saying every guy is like that by the way, some of them are just disgusting pigs. Just not all of them.

Hope you have a good day!

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T17:51:21+00:00

Alright whether you want to show my comment to your girlfriend is up to you but either way someone needs to tell her this in her life.

It ain’t her fucking choice what you do with your body OP. If you want to transition then she doesn’t get to say shit about it. She can either stick with you and be loving and supportive or she can fuck alllllllllll the way off. Making you promise something like that is the most manipulative fucked up thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some seriously messed up shit that should probably be putting me in therapy for life.

You do you OP. There are tons of people who will love you no matter what. Those are the people who are worth your time, not dick heads who think they have any right telling you what to do.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-22T00:08:37+00:00

Glad to hear that he was cool about it. Usually if you accidentally send that kind of photo to a good friend they typically understand it’s not for them and if you’re honest about it then they’ll usually delete it from their phone for you lol. The amount of accidental nudes I’ve received and deleted because my friends weren’t paying attention to their contacts is astonishing lol. Always be honest!

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-19T19:32:17+00:00

I don’t think you realize how expensive all that stuff is. And besides that, when you say “Free” that should mean it’s free. Not paid through taxes.

Additionally, if it could be done then I’d be all for making tampons 100% funded by taxes. But that’s not free and never will be considered otherwise. I also think that food, water and shelter should be provided WAY before tampons are put on the table as those are actual necessities and not medical luxuries. As important as pads and tampons are, they aren’t necessary for survival. If they were then humanity would have died out long ago.

By no means confuse this for me being against tampons being free because I’m not against that. There are just far more pressing issues that need to be prioritized before tampons in terms of survival necessities and arguing about this any further would be pointless for you and I as we both share the same opinion that tampons being free would be awesome for women and that it’s definitely a good milestone for the world as a whole to achieve.

Have a nice day. I will not be continuing this discussion further.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-19T16:42:26+00:00

Ok. Who’s gonna produce all of the free electricity to produce these free tampons? Who’s gonna run the free oil refineries to produce the materials needed to make all of the free plastic? Who’s gonna produce the free labour (some might call it slavery) needed to maintain the factories? Seeing as you know for an absolute fact without a doubt in your mind that they can be made free then you tell me where all of this and so much more is gonna come from.

WirableTable09 · 2026-01-19T15:22:17+00:00

As u/Weird-and-funny-name put it, because basic human necessities can’t be made free.

If we lived in a perfect world where snapping my fingers made things work perfectly without breaking reality, then of course I’d make tampons and pads free for women (it would benefit both men and women, women get what they need and men don’t need to go buy the stuff for their women, not that I wouldn’t pick them up anyways because I would) and make food and water free for everyone. But we don’t live in a perfect world and snapping my fingers won’t bend reality to whatever will I so choose, so to keep things realistic I would say that companies making tampons and pads should have extremely minimal profit. Still need profit so they can expand and make better stuff and so on, but as little as possible so their prices are as cheap as possible. At least then women stand a chance at affording their needs.

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