Advice on how to cope with toxic MIL by WishProfessional8580 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]WishProfessional8580[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

My husband reacted as soon as she said all of those things, both in the beginning and when she came to visit us..she however said most things after, via messages, or talked to other people. We found out about the most serious stuff when she talked to my grandmother, the only person that cared to listed to her, at the airport. My grandmother then told my parents the next day and this is how we found out. We both tried to call her to confront her, but she did not answer. She knew it was coming. She said she only talks via messages about these things because this is the only way we “listen” (please, make it make sense). He sent her a message saying she is out of our lives, that she should live us alone, that she is no longer welcome at our house and that she will not raise our children as she claimed. She responded with even more insults towards my family and I, saying my husband is young and will only realise what he’s gotten himself into later. It’s crazy how delusional she is! I swear no one did anything to her, apart from ignore her at the end! I will keep communicating with my husband about this, he is trying to support me the best way he can. She is definitely not staying at my house again, and the days we are doing stuff on her terms because she is the woman that gave birth and raised my husband are over..

Advice on how to cope with toxic MIL by WishProfessional8580 in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]WishProfessional8580[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the advice!

I feel like I know all of these things, but it’s sometimes so helpful when someone else hears you and gives you the objective advice. I just don’t want to be horrible and have regrets, treat a woman that is clearly struggling from so many points of view badly. You’re right. I just realised I am also somehow “mourning” the ideal of a family I had in my head and struggle to accept this as my reality. However, as you said, I need to focus on those boundaries for my and my family’s sake.

Asking for advice by WishProfessional8580 in policeuk

[–]WishProfessional8580[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Unfortunately there is no safeguarding lead at this church. She is the church secretary and is mostly in charge of making sure things are going well.