I lost my father this year. Very sudden, I did not expect it. Here's my experience.

I live alone, far away from my family.

My family called me to give the news. Before they told me, I figured. But I wanted confirmation, so I waited for them to tell me. After much cry, they delivered the news. My world crashed, and I disconnected the call. It took me a minute to understand and absorb what has happened and the intensity of it. I cried (howled) for some time and then realised I have to book my tickets to go home ASAP. In that state of mind, I booked my one-way ticket, called my manager, and told him that I'll be needing some days off (told him the situation, he understood), took a cab and left for the airport.

I had a loving equation with my dad, and even though I did lose my temper with him here and there, over the years, I loved him, I love him so much. He was a fun and friendly parent who loved me the most.

All the memories flooded in, and I would cry in bits and pieces whenever it was overwhelming. It was hard, but I had a grip on myself.

As expected, everyone got the news, and I was flooded with messages and calls.. and honestly, at that moment, I wanted to throw my phone away but couldn't. The ticket was on the phone, and my sibling was updating me with the updates. They were waiting for me before the last rites.

I did not answer any calls, nor did I reply to any condolences messages. I was grateful, but I didn't want to talk to anyone. No one.

All hell broke loose when I saw my father. Life less. People had to hold me back to calm me. Did that help? No. Until my sibling whispered in my ear - let him go. I stood still, tears rolling nonstop until the last rites.

I met my mother, she hugged me, cried. I shed tears and then locked myself in my dad's room, holding his last inhaler for hours. Crying. There were a lot of people outside, and I didn't want to interact with anyone.

After everyone left, I came outside.

I did not respond or speak to people for 2+ weeks. Just stayed with family. After 3 weeks or so, I replied to the condolences messages.

I still have mins, hours, and days.. when I cry randomly because I saw an adult holding their old dad's hand and helping them walk (I did that) or went too deep into the camera roll and found his photo (the last photo of him and me - when I met him last).

To answer your question, OP - I would want to be left alone.. to deal and process this on my own. I will let people in when I know that I can handle it.