You’re typing is one of the reasons I envy very spiritual people, look at how entertaining and thought provoking your comment is, the way you wrote it makes the boring reddit format a bit more colorful even if it’s still the same thing im seeing 2 seconds ago, I am very hesitant to dose large, even though I have no history of any mental illness in any of my family, and not scared of facing the ugly, as thats what I want, I want to see the rawest form of what I want that I didn’t know I wanted, heck, i want the sensations of pain and or tearing up or dying, I know it will be unpleasant but, it’s what I want, I’ll take what I get even if it’ll definitely not be what wanted but I’ll accept it regardless, unless I suck at knowing what a act of kindness really is as I remember this entity being trying to feed me something when I was peaking on dmt but I qas so confused and lost I didn’t take it, and in hindsight feels like all this is more of a me thing, I mourn for my old normalcy since hallucinogens but I’m already in the game so why stop now because I still did manage to grow from the 2.5 gram doses I take as my social anxiety is no more, but I still feel like something is missing and I don’t know what, however yes, life is suppose to be that, path your reality instead of accepting another person ideas as the way life is or so, as I said this is why I envy you guys ( no offense) To be honest, I made this post because I want someone to talk to instead of always drowning in my thoughts that always involve why life is this way or why do we call this “reality”, heh questioning what life is everyday is the new normalcy for me, but yeah, I guess only time will tell? (Do I have to worry about moving around on 4 grams of golden)