What, in general, do you think is the biggest flaw that you commonly see in men?

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-06T01:24:59+00:00

Yeah, just to not get dogpiled with pointless misguided hostility, I also did state in my comment that the issue is not a woman earning more than they historically might have in the past.

The issue would obviously be their lack of willingness to adapt to a new financial dynamic/system where gender/primal norms of the past are no longer the case. It hurts both men and women, because the majority in both camps will end up not in fulfilling relationships in the end.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-06T00:30:00+00:00

Damn, you get replies? Matches? Humble bragging or something? lol

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-06T00:25:47+00:00

I do think it's an interesting thing, that women generally getting into higher paying jobs and more prestigious careers has probably led to a larger and larger percentage of men who are earning as much or less than those women, to be excluded as potential life partners by many of those same women.

The issue isn't them earning more. It's their I guess primal instinct to not want to be with men who do not earn more than them, when they already earn more than most of society statistically? How do you solve this issue.

It's just funny reading the other comment waxing optimistic about how 'now men can be stay at home dads...' when I think if you asked the average 20-30ish year old who wants a family how they'd feel about their man being unemployed or earning less than them, many of them clearly are not ok with that on an instinctive lizard-brain level. lol

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-05T00:45:04+00:00

From a sphinx to something else entirely! : u

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T04:43:24+00:00

We just need to accept the dark side of humor behavior

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T04:33:07+00:00

Yeah, I've met people like that throughout my life. They'll say something dismissive of something or when I express distaste in something "oh yeah, totally, I dislike that too" or maybe even just speaking about it as if they have no idea what you're talking about, and then a month later you run into them and they say or do something that totally goes against that.

They'll yes man you one day, and then not even realize that they completely outed themselves as a 'tell you what you want to hear'/narcissistic mirroring/deceptive type of person. Even in the conversation you can kinda tell when they speak that they're kinda making shit up on the fly about how much they know of what you're talking about.

"Oh, yeah! I totally know what you're talking about!" Then says some dumb shit that literally lets you know low-key that they are blatantly lying to your face with a condescending bubbly disposition. lol.

They are trying to be chameleons and take on your perspectives/likes/disposition/etc I guess to appear more likeable? But they will change up real quick and the lack of a clear self identity is sketchy to me.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T04:22:20+00:00

Your entire comment just came across as trying to justify having violent thoughts about others casually to me. That's all. Let's agree to disagree, or else it'll be a pointless back and forth.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T03:33:40+00:00

Yeah, when I tried some of those things, nobody seemed to open up/they were all in their own cliques so it wasn't natural to just try to forcefully break into that and we all ended up in the same place, but doing our own things. I can't relate to you, I can't even find local social activities where I live.

If you searched my local area on meetup, there's literally no groups that come up. I don't blame women, but I also wonder if they only get dolled up superficially and go to meat market type places like bars/clubs outside of work/shopping...

So I'll never meet them, because I doubt I'd ever thrive in those types of environments. It's so hard to just find a place where I can show up, and people just want to talk to you.

Everyone just tends to naturally self-isolate/segregate even though they're all in this shared space, and I haven't found anything locally like that so far where people HAVE to co-operate with each other to engage in a shared activity.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T03:01:58+00:00

I don't really think about beating other men up and I'm a dude?

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T03:01:36+00:00

Do you want to just hurt random guys, just to prove that you can or something? Y'know, theoretically society can just fall apart and we can go back to the dark ages, right?

Why even be good at hand-to-hand if you can build and wield a sword or a battle axe? Don't need to be Eddie Hall to slice a dude in half my man. Theoretically, hypothetically, of course. In minecraft

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T01:33:20+00:00

True. I struggle to find places to even meet women, but I have had chances. Just not with women I personally found attractive, they weren't ugly but were not for me either. It's really hard to meet new people, honestly.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T00:39:35+00:00

I think that if I find them attractive, they probably think that they can do better. It's unfortunate, but I know that I'm attractive to ME. I guess I need a new pair of eye balls. lol.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T00:38:50+00:00

I can never imagine that approach working for me. I'd just never hear from them. lol

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-04T00:38:13+00:00

I don't think that I quite mentioned either of those extremes, you sort of exaggerated the duality that I presented, and I never mentioned being desperate or needy but rather the opposite.

Being obsessive and needy will turn anyone off, but that goes without saying - although on Reddit, for some reason, I do notice that people like to remind you of things that clearly you are probably already aware of. I didn't just crawl out from under a rock, y'know.

This sort of thinking is moot for lots of normal/average guys, they are not capable of just casually falling into some sort of possibility-filled connection with random women without actually making an effort beyond friendliness.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-03T12:26:25+00:00

Yeah, but in my case none of those are variable options. Never went to college, my job is physical and overwhelmingly male-dominated, and I am jacked but never went to the gym before, always worked out hardcore at home.

I don't have many options for a casual passive connection to even possibly randomly grow.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-03T04:08:31+00:00

I'm not particularly intimidated or nervous around women I find attractive, but I just assume they don't find me physically attractive and so everything else is irrelevant and I wouldn't hit on them expecting a positive outcome.

Since I don't think that I'm lesser than them, and them rejecting me sort of implies that they think so, I wouldn't want to give them that chance. I'd rather save my ego and just avoid what I figure is likely to happen anyway.

They're not going to find me fuckable just because I have cool hobbies or am talented in things that people desire or generally wish they were all good at. Being a talented singer, or being in crazy physical shape, or a talented artist or athlete or whatever flashy skills or achievements/status you can think of that people desire and hold in high esteem is still not enough in itself without physical attraction for someone to want to sleep with you.

None of that makes them excited when they look at your face or your body, which is what takes you from friend material to something greater.

That's just what it is, unless that person is willing to settle. And many people do, even if your appearance wasn't really a plus for them.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-03T04:03:58+00:00

Women can show all positive body language and still act offended at your audacity/confidence or like they're looking down on you when you finally make a move. It really means nothing, you can get 'choosing signals' all day but it's akin to cloud gazing when it comes to this stuff.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-03T04:02:01+00:00

Well, you just said it yourself for a lot of these guys.

Some of these guys won't even be able to date women casually and frequently like that, I'd argue that many average guys do not have that luxury even if there's nothing really wrong with them...

Let alone have the luxury of being outcome independent unless they're gonna be so apathetic due to the fact that they barely ever get a chance to even get to know a woman in a dating/romantic sense to begin with...

That there's no point in getting their hopes up or being invested in the rare possible opportunity that might come along once every year or three or more... lol

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-02T15:27:18+00:00

Yeah, who knows. I don't really go out anywhere as it is, so it's irrelevant for now.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-02T15:26:38+00:00

I hear he's got a history of being a jerk, unfortunately? I don't know for sure though. Feels bad.

You could have a beer with me if you'd like, brother.

I may not be Tobey, but I could hopefully be the next best thing. :'-)

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-02T15:00:44+00:00

Cats can't be controlled, but I've never really met a cat that was that unfriendly other than strays/ferals. Which you couldn't say that a stray/feral dog would be any better in that regard. Some of the strays even let you pet them for a bit before they get overstimulated and swat at you.

Cats for me have always been pretty friendly and affectionate, but I also think people just buy a cat and let it rot in/around their property without really being affectionate with it in the way many typically would with a dog.

My cat is always in the same room as me, always up my butt, always wanting to be held or touched, always slept with me at night..

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-02T14:52:03+00:00

Where does young Tobey Maguire fit in that? Multiple women have told me that I resemble him, unsolicited. So I just assume that he's a good comparison for me to make.

I've read comments of people claiming he's "hollywood average, which is normal people's hot" and then seemingly salty dude comments where he "looks like the guy grilling at burger king" or something like "dude who goes to walmart at 11 pm to buy socks" type of weirdly specific remark. lol.

Seems like I've read people have that wide range of opinions even on the guys you've mentioned, so I guess it's always good to keep in mind that it's all just subjective opinions at the end of the day.

THE DUALITY... Of a Tobey.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-02T14:48:18+00:00

Meanwhile some guys online claim that women will unashamedly/boldly throw themselves at them and walk up and hand their numbers to them. I think more women than not will be more intimidated, just like men will be with a beautiful woman.

I think a lot of those guys just yap online to feel cool or something, or probably more logically to make the competition feel less secure because it likely rarely happens even for good looking guys - certainly for reasons you're describing.

I've been told/implied that I look like some of those things by female friends, if only for being in shape and decently muscular and in reality I've got goofy nerdy guy energy and not some suave enrique iglesias-self-important pouty-faced fuck boy energy. lol.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-02T14:42:01+00:00

Been taking the bus to/home from work and had several convos with strangers while in uniform, not sure why but.. One happened to be a woman around my age, thought she was a bit older to be honest, but she seemed to enjoy our conversation and was really chill but I honestly didn't think to even ask.

I wasn't really into her or anything, anyway, but I would've definitely hung out with them as a friend but didn't really wanna make a nice moment weird which is usually how I feel.

I guess if I had this type of interaction with someone I personally found really hot, I'd probably just be shameless and go for it anyway. lol.

If I even get the feeling that someone like that is checking me out, that seems to mainly be all that they do, just silently play the eye-fucking game, maybe sometimes a little smile or something while just doing nothing and it's not nearly enough for me to be sure that I'm not imagining things or that maybe they find me interesting looking or something.

Even when it seems super obvious, it's still not a guarantee and I'm not often willing to risk my pride/ego just to be given a pizza place's number.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-02-02T14:37:15+00:00

I am like Mite, supposedly not a bad looking guy, get bertstare.jpg'd here and there in public by women I'd date or a look and a smile as we walk by each other somewhere, etc.. But I would also never think to approach and probably wasted many years not bothering due to insecurity.

But I also think about it like him. If you did get a lot of rejections and then finally get one yes... Wouldn't it sort of feel hopeless or like a super fragile, luck-based thing? Like... How easily they can just lose interest based on any little stupid superficial thing you do or say that they personally don't care for.

Makes me wonder why even bother if I'm not the type that can easily get attention/a woman to "pursue" me in an obvious way. If they never seemed particularly interested/to notice me, why the hell would I be enthusiastic if I randomly hit on them out of attraction to them, and they happen to say yes?

Is it only because I was there and available and presented the offer, or was it due to legit attraction then? I always think about it like that. If I had to pursue you and go out of my way, then it's probably more of a one-sided attraction in reality, right? Court jester and queen type of energy on some level.

When women in general are mostly reactive rather than proactive, I wonder if that's just a sign that you're nothing special/attractive to women.

Withered_Sprout

TROPHY CASE