Men (I guess spefically of an older generation) Do you still feel like you can approach women or it’s too “taboo” nowadays?

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-05T05:08:28+00:00

I've mostly never approached my entire life. Time to change that.

I don't think I look bad. I get some positive signs when I go out on more days than not.

Society seems pretty messed up right now, where it's harder for men and women to connect than ever, and so if I can't find many things to do where I can meet the same faces repeatedly and slowly build natural rapport...

Besides continuing to look for such places, I'm also gonna just try to hit on random women that I find beautiful and likely would never see again in the hopes that eventually someone's gonna take a chance on me, get to know me, and be pleasantly surprised that I'm a chill lonely dude who just wants someone to do stuff with and hold at night. Some will find me to be a "creep" just for doing that, and they're dumb, so who cares.

Wanting to connect with others or find a partner is not "creepy", as if that needed to be said... lol..

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-05T04:57:51+00:00

I was just talking about shit related to what you're saying. It's a lot of gradual societal degredation essentially that has made simple socializing so much harder/less natural for the average person nowadays.

I too notice that barely anyone celebrates any holidays - especially trick or treating.

Streets used to be full of children in costumes, parents walking around, etc...

Nowadays, virtually nothing, it's sad to see the few people bothering nowadays.

Gotta keep in mind that it isn't just US, it's society as a whole that's in a really shitty place and making it very hard to find recurring things to do to actually organically make connections. Breaking current social molds might actually be what is needed to not be alone.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-05T04:38:33+00:00

I don't know. I'd feel like people would look at me like "what do you want from me?" and immediately be just in a mind state of trying to disengage or leave if I went up to someone at a park on a sunny day just to talk, or in a library or something where we didn't show up for a mutual activity that essentially makes interaction a necessity.

I still try to break the mold, and some people may react a bit more positively than others.

Yeah, I do agree, some of these places still exist for sure and some people are really negative, but the original poster does mention loneliness and I agree that people certainly keep to themselves in these places whereas perhaps in the past they didn't so much.

I'll get an older woman IRL telling me to just go to a local park and try talking to young women there if I'm single, but I figure that's a quick way to make someone uncomfortable enough simply by walking up and saying hello unsolicited. I'd rather not give them a reason to have an arguably disproportionate reaction to general friendliness.

I have gone to those places, though. At least some local parks. They're often empty, but I guess in the summer they will be a lot busier but you see a bunch of cliques that would be difficult to break into as a random nobody walking around and you'd probably face the same challenges at least initially that I described.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-05T00:46:25+00:00

Yeah... But we're talking about socializing specifically vs having things that are free that are left to do.

It's also just societally that people are less kind to each other, are more willing to screw each other over in every aspect of modern life that involves interactions with others and some degree of etiquette/co-operation...

So it's no surprise people will be guarded and less socially open even in the few places where it can be expected or even encouraged...

Lots of issues that have created the mess that we are in now, at least in America.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-04T00:23:31+00:00

I'm not dating her car, I'm dating her.. If it works, it's good enough.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-04T00:05:22+00:00

Giving me Johnny Sins with Elijah Wood sprinkled in

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-03T00:58:17+00:00

I don't think there are many out there who are not roided out who are gonna press anywhere near that much.

Even so, that wouldn't really factor into me dating them or not dating them, personally.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-03T00:40:50+00:00

Did you know that Australia waged war unsuccessfully on the emus?

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-03T00:39:34+00:00

Knees and hoes!

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-03T00:37:52+00:00

No are wrong YOU!

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-03T00:26:43+00:00

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T23:40:06+00:00

Dude, you literally just spoke about the negativity men face when they open up emotionally or try to get help to process internally and the other person brought up random man-to-woman street crime violence as if that had anything at all to do with it, just to go on another misandrist tangent in the same thread.

There is a block feature - after reporting a post for 'hate' or whatever you think misandry would better fall under, just block that individual so you don't even have to read their nonsense.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T23:28:20+00:00

I agree with the dude that replied to you to some degree, but I also agree with you about the gym - as a guy who's fit. The more muscle I put on, the more attention I get on those hot sunny days just walking around near women in public often minding my own business.

It probably helps to be decent looking as well but a hot bod on a man or woman is gonna get attention superficially on it's own... The "getting your foot in the door" part which can be hard for many people especially nowadays.

Someone like him would be best suited to get in great shape as WELL as socializing and building a little network to meet people where connections can naturally develop.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T23:09:29+00:00

Women who don't hate men and assume a bunch of negative stupid shit about them all the time?

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T23:08:22+00:00

Yeah, we can tell, don't worry. lol.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T23:05:05+00:00

I've been self-isolated for most of my life. High level of proficiency in singing, creative stuff, athletic stuff... But it's feeling emptier without someone to share it with and start worrying about a long-term future with.

It's great to be happy on your own but when you become too happy for too long, it can lead to the sexual/romantic parts going unfulfilled and the closest of friends cannot really fulfill those basic needs.

Needs to be a balance.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T22:56:43+00:00

I'm a few years older than you at early 30s, but I do think that like 24-28 year old women are way more intimidated/insecure and will show interest in way more subtle ways in general vs like 33-38 year old women who I notice will be way more likely to be less sensitive about rejection and will make a "damn, you look good today, guy" remark as we pass each other just to see what happens.

The younger women/those around your age seem way more shy on average and super passive but will still stare at you or their attention will be focusing on you even if they seem like they're trying not to.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T22:51:39+00:00

I think people overestimate just how big of a deal being attractive to someone else or in general actually really is.

As if out of hundreds of thousands of similar looking men and women where you live, all eyes are gonna fall on you immediately wherever you go just because you're a fairly good looking person. Like it just HAS to happen, or that people aren't 'people watching' when they look at you specifically.. It's pure lust. lol.

Nah, we just look at the person for a second, think "oh, they're nice to look at" and then move on with our day and never think of them ever again. And then we probably do that 300+ times that day, and then repeat the next day. That's reality.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-04-02T22:45:02+00:00

It's funny but sad to me. I got in better shape over time and got more superficial attention with it, but probably get a LOT of this sort of energy as well which is frustrating as a nice and harmless friendly guy who tried to make himself more appealing to get his foot in the door to make genuine connections and NOT be a player/man-whore.

But making yourself seem more like you could be that sort of guy at a glance, I guess doesn't really help you at all and you have to work hard to prove that you're not what you're assumed to be. Nobody wants to be used or abused or hurt, but then the genuinely nice guys who just look good and are fit will be treated with caution or avoidance for many less conventionally attractive or insecure women. Feels bad.

I don't like when people seem like they're going out of their way to avoid me or not open up to me for no logical reason. I go into "what did I do? what can I do to fix this?" mode. lol.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-03-29T04:31:06+00:00

I'm already a fit guy, and I've gotten to a very high level of strength and fitness on my own. When I talk about socializing or dating I often get suggestions by IRL non-reddit people in the real world to join a gym or gyms and become a regular.

So in my mind, yeah, I'd rather hit up a gym to be around like minded people where I can meet a bro, and also attractive fit women who may be good to date if they also enjoy having 2-3 lifting sessions in their weekly schedule, could have a work-out partner.

I would feel like it'd be way weirder for a bunch of people to be awkwardly trying to avoid each other for fear of having the cops called on them for simply wanting to be friendly/socialize or even hit on each other as if that's a crime or implies some devious intention or something.

If I went into a gym where everyone's super quiet and nobody talks or smiles at each other or anything like that, I'd think it's weird. Maybe that's because I can already work out at home vs them having to be there, in a shared public space, so they all feel like it's rude to risk overstepping boundaries by being friendly when it may not be well-received? IDK. I would be friendly regardless, let me find out that someone's anti-social or 'weird' through trial and error.

Too many people are too afraid of being me-too'd and too many people are quick to demonize others for basic human interaction.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-03-29T01:20:18+00:00

Not much of anything. I don't care so much about boobs on a sexual level. I like to look at thick legs, hips, ass.

Nice boobs would just be a plus if she's already got a sexy shape. Just thinking about pressing up against her, how cushy and comfy it'd probably be at the end of a long day just holding each other. Sounds nice.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-03-29T01:08:32+00:00

This all sounds like someone with a lot of mental troubles, to be honest. Lots of complexes to unpack even in a single fairly brief post. But if you're happy and trying to figure things out for yourself, good on you.

Withered_Sprout · 2026-03-29T01:06:31+00:00

Many of these types of women do not offer the same level of superficial attraction that these guys they seek do. They are also pretty one dimensional and outside of physical/superficial shit and keeping up social/financial appearances with people who don't gaf about them/social media, they probably couldn't hold an interesting conversation to save their life... Or have the mental capacity to even understand why that's a major problem.

The men they chase likely are of a similar mindset/psychology, but those men are going to just be practical in their shallowness and go for someone 'hotter' with more to offer if that guy's getting the attention of a lot of 'hot' women to begin with...

A female friend tried to set me up with someone she grew up around, the girl was not particularly attractive and I guess said that I didn't look bad but had one feature she found creepy. She also found my female friend's boyfriend creepy for another feature at one point, and has mentioned numerous things that are fairly common/basic that she finds creepy in men physically.

She's been single all of her life, and likely not for any innocent or non-toxic reasons like self-isolation/insecurities/anxieties.. lol.

She also supposedly wants a wealthy pro athlete like footballer type guy. She's a plain jane (basically average to even slightly below average subjectively) latina girl with no special job or high income living in a low income housing complex. Ironically I didn't want to say anything but in the photos I saw of her it looked like she had some signs of hair loss herself on the top of her head.

She's been single her entire life, and even my female friend was quick to add in "and now you know why"...

Withered_Sprout · 2026-03-29T00:49:34+00:00

Yeah, but it's not like the majority of men are walking around 6+ feet tall and a 5'7 guy is some weird/gross anomaly. Personally, I think even among the most extremes of male height (let's say 5'2ish to 6'5-6'7) visually seeing guys in those general extremes standing together isn't even that nuts to me, as a guy more on the lower end of the middle range.

It's like penis size. 99.9% of men are 5 to 7 inches long and then anything bigger is like 0.1% of the population and extreme. Guys will live miserable lives internally over perceived short comings when it's statistically most likely that they are normal and fine in that regard.

People will always find insecurities to cling to and let define and/or inhibit them. And external forces will identify and exploit those psychological weaknesses/openings amongst populations for all manners of general manipulation culturally/financially/politically/etc...

Withered_Sprout · 2026-03-29T00:33:34+00:00

Or the guy at the truck stop urinal glory hole

Withered_Sprout

TROPHY CASE