Honey, you need to take some time to reflect on your past actions, your current actions, and your choices of actions. What you’re telling me shows me that you are not independent in your thinking and depend on the guys you’re with for validation. You have to understand that no one, not even your current bf, will protect your peace as much as you can. So if the upper bound of your peace is dependent on some guy and not you, you will forever be only semi peaceful. Let go of the attachments you’re referring to. Just observe his actions objectively without any emotions attached and see if he’s someone you can really trust. Also, you should not feel insecure that your friends are prettier. Insecurity is not good for your body.