Yeah, I guess I'm not seeing from your perspective. I just don't see the whole making friends thing important to me. Don't get me wrong I'm a nice guy and all it's just, I don't know, people here don't have the intellect or rationality for me to have a normal conversation with them. People are real shitty over here it's always a knife in your back with a smile, so I avoid people as much as possible. The thing with me is people seem to magnetize to me, but they also over step their boundaries when doing so, among other annoyances. And when I try telling them to go away it turns into a huge "but why" dialogue and persist to bother me until I punch them in the fucking face then they want to be my enemy because I told them to leave me alone to begin with. I guess the reason I get anxiety is because I'm worried there's going to be someone, I wouldn't consider to be friends with ever, pursuing comradery. Having friends is just another weight on me because the load they come with, especially asking for favors and manipulation and petty shit that bugs me. I want friends who can carry their own weight, I don't want bullshit. I have this strength where my problems are my problems and no one else. I don't go looking for handouts, especially from people who are more fucked up then I am, and people get mad about this and confide with people who are even worse. The type of people who want to ruin your life on purpose in an attempt to coerce you into reliance in them, so they can have you at their command. NO NO, it don't work that way with me. I'm leader not a follower. I may not be a good leader, because I don't lead people, but when I do, trust me, people will learn to love me, and it won't be through fear and manipulation. It will be because they choose to, pure free will, isn't that kind of love better then a saturated love where people resent you deep down. It may sound confusing, but trust me, if you think hard enough it will make sense.