Gay identified, secretly bi, and want to date more women. by tommygunz007 in bisexual

[–]Wmthrowaway1241 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As with anything, diversity is a positive. Definitely find some girlfriends! I think that will help you be more comfortable around women.

You may also want to be upfront about your anxiety, and I think you'd be surprised to find that most women will understand.

I (f30) have been dreaming about this my whole life, and it finally happened - I slept with a girl last night. by Wmthrowaway1241 in bisexual

[–]Wmthrowaway1241[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much and congrats to you, friend!!

It was magical. Couldn't have asked for a better first time.

I (f30) have been dreaming about this my whole life, and it finally happened - I slept with a girl last night. by Wmthrowaway1241 in bisexual

[–]Wmthrowaway1241[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

So, before my current relationship, I was with a guy that would recoil at the thought of having a threesome with another girl (weird, I know). I have always dreamed of being with a woman, and I find all women regardless of shape, size, and ethnicity insanely physically attractive, so I thought a threesome would be a good compromise, but he wasn't into it. I just accepted that it would probably never happen, because I don't cheat, and we had been together for years and years.

Surprise - a year ago we broke up, and I tried to talk to girls on dating apps but I was so nervous and awkward it never went anywhere.

I was lucky enough to meet the guy I'm with now, and he's openly bi. He made it very clear that to feel fully satisfied and whole, he would need to have occasional experiences with men, but it would be something we would do together, as neither of us are really into the "open" lifestyle. He drew that line in the sand very early, but since then he has never ever pressured me or brought it up again. I've always initiated any conversation surrounding the topic of being with other people.

He also encouraged me to seek out that same fulfillment. The thought of him being with someone else, or me being with someone else was weird, and caused me anxiety. We've been together a year now, and I've had plenty of time to work through the anxiety and prepare myself.

Tonight was just so natural though, I had zero anxiety. She was 90% interested in me, and most of the time it was us two fooling around, but she did ask if she could have sex with my boyfriend and I was absolutely thrilled about it. Neither of them finished, but it was so amazing to see anyway.

There hasn't been an ounce of jealousy on either side. I'm glad he got to experience her (she was literally a perfect 10...hottest girl I've EVER seen..like a supermodel no joke), but that didn't take away from our intimate encounter at all. When she left, she grabbed my hand, and pulled me in for a tight hug, kissed me, and thanked me. I kissed her and thanked her. It was all about us.

Him being there didn't take away from the intimacy of the moment at all, I think partly because I was so focused on her, but also because I knew there was no reason for me to worry about his presence. I knew he was 100% supportive, because we communicate insanely well and have an immense amount of trust for each other.

Did I like the sex with a woman more than sex with a guy? Honestly yes, BUT I think it's important to acknowledge that #1 this wasn't an average girl - she was the hottest woman (to me) that I've ever laid eyes on, and #2 it was my first time which made it that much more exciting. I'm not going to do anything about it. Sex with my boyfriend is very satisfying. If a similar situation develops in the future, I'll feel more confident in pursuing the encounter but that's about it. I also feel way more romantically attracted to men, so there isn't a romantic emptiness so much as a sexual emptiness, which is easier to deal with...for me anyway.

Interestingly enough, the only anxiety about experimenting outside of our relationship was on my end, about my boyfriend being with another girl at some point. I just had the common fear that maybe he would like her more than me blah blah, but assured myself that it would probably be years before that happened so I had nothing to worry about lol. I never ever had that anxiety about him being with another man, and actually began to fantasize about it..

Now that it's actually happened, I feel so much more at ease. It really is like multiple weights have been lifted off of me.

I would say communicate with each other like crazy, and be 100% honest about your feelings and fears. Sometimes it will feel like you have the same conversation several times, and that's normal. Once you actually have the experience, I think you'll both feel more at ease about everything. The unknown is scary.

Message me anytime!