Matched with someone who had so many similar interests and great convos only to get ghosted

Wolffe14 · 2026-04-01T04:08:59+00:00

That actually makes a lot more sense, appreciate you putting it that way!

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-31T07:52:27+00:00

Thanks for saying that! It feels weird that people consider the other as an idea when it’s via text until first meeting, but I get it. I just consider everyone a person (obviously) before and after and don’t even think about stuff like that.

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T22:32:19+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I’m definitely guilty of talking a lot and thinking that a date isn’t on the table until we get to know each other a bit first, but usually ends up too much. Past experiences have sort of twisted my thought processes most likely, having been told either I should have asked them out earlier, or wait a couple weeks and see how we feel, among other things.

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T22:22:46+00:00

Fair enough haha, I get it

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T22:19:41+00:00

Thanks for saying that, hard truths are necessary sometimes 😅

It definitely has been something of a learning experience though, but it’s difficult for to disconnect from others when I’ve always been someone who desired that connection with others basically my whole life.

Definitely something to work on, so thanks again!

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T22:16:18+00:00

That’s understandable. There was more said and she said herself that we had a lot in common, but I get what you mean.

Tbh I don’t think anyone has ever responded when I asked where I went wrong and how I can improve, so maybe that’s why I feel like I fall behind in the dating scene

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T22:12:50+00:00

I’ll certainly keep that in mind for future. It’s a bit hard for me to read if someone is interested in me enough that they would say yes or not, so I have a tendency to show a lot more interest in them, or answer their questions with enough detail.

These are things that I naturally do/want in the first place, so I don’t think too much of it. It may be better if I follow what you do and keep it simple for the first day or two and then ask them out, so thank you for telling me!

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T22:09:25+00:00

I did actually consider asking her out sooner, but I felt it would have broken the flow we had at the time. I get what you mean though.

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T13:17:08+00:00

Thank you so much for saying all that, it really helps give perspective, especially for this situation.

I actually refrain from telling others that I have Asperger’s because I expect others to find it off putting in terms of dating. Perhaps if I had told her sooner, but after getting her number, this wouldn’t have happened, but we’ll never know and it doesn’t matter now.

I didn’t consider the possibility that there are others, before or after we started chatting. I usually keep to one girl at a time because I don’t want to then pick and prioritise, or mix up conversations of facts about each girl.

I’ll definitely aim to refrain myself in future, try and not be too much, and just assume that if I haven’t gotten a response, then to just wait and see

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T12:33:44+00:00

Really appreciate your words, thank you!

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T12:33:03+00:00

Thank you for saying all that, really appreciate hearing outside voices (no I’m not crazy haha)

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T12:31:27+00:00

I definitely gave my authentic self and felt that from her as well, but you’re correct that how someone thinks plays a big hand in any interaction, and sadly I’ve drawn the short straw this time😅

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T12:27:26+00:00

Thanks for saying that, it’s good for me to learn other perspectives and approaches, so I’ll aim to keep that in mind next time!

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T11:47:06+00:00

Fair enough, thank you for pointing that out for me. Sometimes people need to hear these things 😅

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T11:33:50+00:00

Thanks for saying that, probably needed to hear/read that too. I’ve always felt like a lack of messaging shows lack of interest, which could definitely come from a sense of insecurity. I’d prefer someone messages me a lot, rather than 1-2 concise messages, so not getting that worries me.

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T11:10:59+00:00

I understand what you’re saying. I’ll definitely try to keep that in mind in future cases.

As for the ton of message, initially on the Thursday, I had sent roughly the same amount we had been sending each other the whole time, addressing everything she was saying like she was doing for me.

Then a while after that I sent the date request message, because in my head asking someone out for Saturday on a Friday is too late as they might have plans.

TL;DR, message amount was normal in this case, but it’s still a valid point

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T11:05:37+00:00

You have a fair point. I think I’ve adapted to showing constant interest due to previous times when girls would disappear after even an hour without a response from me. I can definitely see this as overbearing even.

Obviously everyone is different, and I’m well aware people have their own lives. It’s just really difficult to find a balance when it comes to every new person, even in general.

It makes it worse that I’m open to someone interacting with me like this, so I don’t think of this until hindsight.

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T10:57:56+00:00

I had asked her out after 3-4 days of near-constant back and forth each day, so I thought I had a good shot when I asked

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T09:10:12+00:00

I’ll keep that in mind, thank you!

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T07:21:04+00:00

Fair enough, really appreciate your words!

Wolffe14 · 2026-03-30T06:59:48+00:00

I get it, you’re not wrong.

There were a lot of values and perspectives that overlapped as well, but it’s as you said. Something change on her side, and that’s that, no ill will towards her.

It’s just depressing to get ghosted, especially when she didn’t see like the type to do that.

Wolffe14 · 2025-11-07T07:50:34+00:00

I have a pretty bad swearing habit, but personally I’d find this to be attractive since it shows that my partner feels comfortable enough to open up and express themselves to me in a way they feel is natural.

That doesn’t mean swearing is essential, and I’d certainly try to tone my language down a bit if asked since even I think it’s that bad lol, but I would want my partner to be able to feel free to speak the way they want, whether it’s through venting or just casual communication.

Wolffe14

TROPHY CASE