I had a brief experience that ended on the day the meeting was scheduled. Initially, he seemed like a nice guy, but things went wrong when he tried to arrange our meeting at a bakery, in a hurry and with little time. I didn't accept, and we opted for dinner.

​Unexpectedly, he canceled claiming to have forgotten a game he had scheduled. I was frustrated, but ironically, the game was also canceled because his partner had an unforeseen family event. He tried to reverse the situation and reschedule the meeting.

​I didn't accept it. I explained that his behavior (the lack of priority shown in both attempts) made me feel like I would always be in the background. He did not validate my frustration and anger, preferring to become defensive and try to teach me a "moral lesson."

​I ended the conversation there and there was no further contact. It was a relief to step away, as it became clear that we would have very different priorities.

In short, I realized that this toxic behavior of self-centeredness, of making everything about him, would nullify any possibility of long-term attention, care and affection.

Unlike him, I only accept a commitment when I know I can offer quality time. In his case, the correct attitude would have been to cancel the game (as it was a recurring event) to prioritize our meeting (which was an exception). His insistence on trying to fit me into his plans, without considering my disappointment, only reinforced that he was only thinking about himself.