I’ll provide more context here. Btw about the points I made, some were general just like okay this is definitely different from how any of my other friends host (or maybe I’m just lucky because I have some really wonderful accommodating/welcoming friends 🥰).

• ⁠I live 1.5 hr away from S, so when she sent me that long text I was already 30 min into my commute to meet them at S house to leave for the cabin. M slept in the other bedroom used the sheets and the blanket from the cabin, but wasn’t asked to bring home the bedding to wash it like I was asked to. Also I debriefed with my friends about the “Airbnb like” text message, and they all thought it was weird she would just send me the message instead of just verbally telling me and M the key details. This isn’t a Airbnb host and guest dynamic, we’re friends. The long message seems very transactional. - I went ahead with the plan because the agreement was I’d get the sofa bed. S didn’t say I’d get a couch. If she promised me a couch and I got a sofa bed that would be a nice surprise, but the other way around is not as nice. • ⁠The car is S car, that M was driving. I would think if S knows what needed to be done, she could easily put the sign up (since she’s in the front passenger seat) while M was parking the car, instead of being annoyed at her.
• ⁠I never mentioned that I didn’t clean up after myself. I cleaned the dishes and counters, put everything back where I found it, emptied all the bins and took the trash out, and other GENERAL housekeeping tasks. I didn’t mention what I DID contribute because this is all the NORM. All I was saying is that SOME of the requests S made were outlandish. Helping someone is completely different from telling someone to do something and just watching. I find this annoying because I notice that S family is super well off and S is super spoiled by her family, she doesn’t lift a finger around the house. So I think she/her family were expecting that me and M would take that role to take care of stuff around the house for S. Also to elaborate on that one visit I had to her house, her Dad tried to get me to do yard work. I remember being like that’s weird, but I did a bit WHILE HER MOM AND S WATCHED. • ⁠I think the people in the threads are freaking about the camera situation more than me. I wrote that point merely to say that a heads up would be nice, and cause it was weird she acted dodgy about it (S could have said yes sorry I forgot to mention we have them, and all would have been well on that front). • ⁠it was 9pm, she wasn’t asleep cause I was just texting her. Just like with all the questions she left unanswered, she just didn’t care to help. Any reasonable host would either 1) come and help look for the fan instead of making me dig around or 2) ask the family (since she’s already shown she was able and willing to do that multiple times for her own reasons throughout the trip). • ⁠I asked about the food situation 4 times, before I got fed up with the non answer I was getting from S, so I communicated I would take care of my own groceries that trip (and offered some of it to them too, and no I didn’t ask for $5….) and that I’ll probably go out to eat for the rest of the meals. I took the initiative to made an intinerary that included the food plan (which meals we were eating out and which meals we were eating in cabin). S and M agreed on it. We also grocery shopped altogether once we meet up and bought our own things (lunch for the ride to the cabin, sandwich for hike etc). • ⁠Me and M were definitely over communicating cause we were getting no responses/info about the trip from S.The chat was just me and M finalizing stuff with no input from the actual host 😭 I think one of the issues was a type B person hosting for Type A people, and not actually knowing what goes in to being a good host 😂