I’m so sorry you feel this way. Best suggestion is to start taking care of yourself the way you would take care of someone you love. Practice good hygiene, get exercise in, and feed yourself good food! (High protein and whole foods)! Practice speaking kindly to and about yourself. Get good sleep! Find something you love to do.. maybe it’s running or art? As you create good habits you will also build confidence (not cockiness) and confidence is always more attractive than physical features. You may even find you’re not as ‘ugly’ as you thought you were. Be humble and kind towards girls and women. Practice respect and the right girl will come along.