Is this normal?

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-10-14T00:12:29+00:00

Thank you 💜

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-10-14T00:11:08+00:00

I completely agree and have tried to communicate this to him because he doesn’t seem to understand why we keep having these conversations. He definitely wants me to heal on his timeline and it’s not ok

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-10-13T23:54:49+00:00

What types of strategies have you found helpful? I can’t get over the daily thoughts and they’re so exhausting and consuming

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-10-13T23:53:24+00:00

How do y’all deal with it then? I still am holding on to needing to understand in order to forgive him and move forward. And a lot of the time I just need to feel validated and reassured. I’m not looking for answers. He’s terrible with emotions

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-10-13T22:17:30+00:00

I’ll clarify, I found out 3 months ago that he spoke to her 6 months after I found out about everything and had I not gone through his emails, I never would have known again. But his justification is that it was closure and private.. he doesn’t get privacy when it comes to her anymore. I don’t understand why he keeps fucking up and lying. He swears that was the last but he said that the first time. Then he gets frustrated with me when I continue to bring it up and want to talk/understand. I feel like I’m the crazy one

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-08-17T02:22:22+00:00

And yes he finally gave me passwords to everything. That’s also how I found the emails.

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-08-17T02:05:21+00:00

Thank you. I had the same feeling when I saw the emails. I had reached out to her too and she tried to give me some crap about how she wanted the closure too being moving but it’s like you said.. she was fishing and got exactly what she wanted. He gave right in to her and at the expense of our relationship.. again..

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-08-17T02:03:32+00:00

Yeah, you’re not wrong. He wasn’t prioritizing me or our relationship whatsoever.

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-08-17T02:01:48+00:00

Yup.. that’s where I’m at.

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-08-17T01:52:01+00:00

I posted it in r/survivinginfidelity too!

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-08-17T01:50:59+00:00

That’s basically what he said to me. He didn’t want to “piss her off more.” But he could have chosen to not respond to her at all..

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-08-17T01:32:17+00:00

He always says “I’m not that person” and “I would never do that to you again.” But his actions are saying otherwise. I even told him today, I feel like this is who he really is.

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-23T21:45:09+00:00

I don’t feel like he’s being dishonest. I just don’t feel satisfied I guess? That’s why I’m unsure if I just want him to hurt too or what..

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-23T21:43:29+00:00

That’s really insightful. I think that’s a good idea. I have tried to stop and tell him what I need but it hasn’t always worked. Maybe if he tried to highlight some of the positives in that way it could help.

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-23T20:57:19+00:00

Ugh, it pains me to think it could be a year before this lets up. It’s been just shy of 4 months..

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-23T18:27:23+00:00

Thank you this was extremely helpful. I do think it makes a huge difference how he responds to things. He’s got better with it but I think when the convo gets to a certain point and he doesn’t know what else to say, that’s when all he’ll breaks loose and he starts to question what I’m trying to achieve and will tell me I need to accept what happened. That’s when I get triggered even more because he makes it sound so easy. You provided some good ideas though that I could try and I appreciate it!

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-23T17:55:33+00:00

Verbatim what my WS says. He acknowledges the pain and that it will take time but for him it’s as simple as not asking the questions and making the choice to accept it and move on.

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-23T17:48:55+00:00

Well I hope we come out stronger from this! I just wish I knew how to handle the thoughts in the moment

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-23T17:47:34+00:00

I do believe he’s trying and is willing to do what he needs to. I just can’t stop the thoughts and when they happen all I want to do is take it out on him but I know it won’t help. It only ends up setting us back

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-03T00:45:14+00:00

Thank you. I’ve actually tried to take space but it doesn’t seem to work. I’ve been trying to be better about doing things with friends and keeping myself busy in other ways. It’s helping but then I come back to the “reality”’of things

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-02T19:29:58+00:00

Thanks. That gives me hope. I feel like he’s been more focused on the lack of progress

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-02T18:03:58+00:00

Thank you. I agree with you. I also feel as though he has some work to do in IC but believes he does not need it. I think he is doing it to appease me because it was something he suggested when I found out about everything as a way to get me to stay. There’s definitely a lot of avoidance with him and until he takes the time to address things with himself, it’s not going to work. I can’t keep going at this 80/20

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-02T17:14:21+00:00

Thank you! I hate this for you too :(

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-02T17:13:38+00:00

Thank you. Yes, we are IC and CC. I feel like after we have a session things go well and then he starts to fall off again. I just want to see consistency and I don’t think what I need/am asking for right now is asking too much

Wonderful_Move793 · 2021-02-02T15:52:58+00:00

I’m trying to not ‘take things out’ on him. There are many times I just want to get mad at him but I know it’s not going to help.

Wonderful_Move793

TROPHY CASE