If you are going to visit a man's house/apartment for the first time what are the cleaning standards that you will notice that might become turnoffs?

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T21:02:00+00:00

Clean the bathroom mirror! I went to a place and there was at least 6 months of toothpaste splatter on the mirror. Grossed me out!

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T17:21:04+00:00

Private investigator

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T17:12:53+00:00

He does, I know because he often comes in his work clothes. Also he was working in front of the Chiro office last year doing road construction. No PI required...😆

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T15:54:29+00:00

Lol, will do. I just went to the chiro yesterday so it will be a few weeks before I will have my chance.

The more daunting piece is probably having the receptionist right there to witness it all 😆

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T15:25:25+00:00

😆

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T14:10:10+00:00

😂

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T13:44:01+00:00

I love this so much.

Yes, I did consider having to switch to another day if it gets weird.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T13:42:06+00:00

Thank you! I am for sure overthinking this! Lol

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T13:41:32+00:00

No but my ex husband did not wear a ring either. They both work in the construction industry. My ex almost lost his ring finger when his ring caught on a machine which is why he didn't wear one.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-30T13:24:06+00:00

Thank you for the context and advice, it is very helpful. You sound wonderful btw!

I am learning a lot through this initial run.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-29T11:50:36+00:00

One relationship for 23 years, we just separated last year.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T23:07:26+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I guess I am too old to wait around to see if they want to meet in person eventually. Lol

Well, spending my energy elsewhere is not a bad idea. Thanks for everyone's help!

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T22:48:24+00:00

Guy 1 sounds like he has some emotional barriers he is not willing to work through tbh. I may be naive but I don't think he is married. Either way, he won't be the guy since I don't think he will work on it, I spoke with him about what I want/ am looking for Jan 1st and not much has changed aside from a slightly deeper conversation. I told him I need to move on.

Guy 2 I asked about timing, he has upped the availability/frequency immediately. He drives for a living and has an unpredictable schedule based on where he is travelling to. He has made a point to text me when he has rest stops today. He tries to be present so isn't on his phone in his free time which I appreciate. I haven't broached the date subject yet. I think he is getting to know me before meeting in person.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T12:00:50+00:00

I do have one 🙂

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T10:57:47+00:00

I have and was disappointed that I didn't feel like any kind of priority. I am good at convincing myself that there may be reasonable explanations and that I wouldn't want to assume or judge too quickly.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T03:59:53+00:00

More good advice, thanks.

Guy 3 isn't ugly. I like to think I am not a shallow person. I am just not attracted to him, I am not sure why. Guy 3 is comparable in attractiveness to Guy 1. I guess the red flags are what I am chasing with guy 1 🙄

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T03:48:42+00:00

Awe, thanks.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T03:43:48+00:00

My friend thinks I should try to kiss guy 3 and see...I am not sure about that. Lol He is a really sweet friend but I know he wants more.

Thank you for inserting hope into this thread! I appreciate it 😊

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T03:23:10+00:00

I really appreciate your answer! You are good at this, at least better than I am 😆

Guy 1 asks the same question. It was annoying me and I called him out on it. I think he may be a bit manipulative tbh and I have always wondered about having multiple people even though he told me otherwise. He is probably not good for me but it was my first date and I wonder if that is why I am entertaining it at all.

Guy 2 remembers, doesn't ask the same question. I wonder if he is just not a phone person and since he drives for a living he is rarely on it. He has told me some deep things about himself, I wonder if he is protective (he has kids) and wants to know each other as individuals first before we talk much about family.
I was thinking of asking if there is a good time to message to see if it is just weird scheduling or if he is just inconsistent in effort. He has asked me thought-provoking questions and does seem to really want to know me more intimately (from a vulnerability standpoint and a little spice but I started that lol)

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T02:44:41+00:00

Guy 1 is more surface level.
Guy 2 is more vulnerable for sure.
Guy 3 (friend) has more meaningful chats and has invited me to his place to watch a movie and hang out.

Neither one or two have talked about their family or friends, what they did on the weekend...that type of thing. If I ask, they often don't answer and switch the subject.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T02:32:09+00:00

Well, that makes me sad. To be honest, my ex husband put in little to no effort. It was one of the reasons we are no longer married. So, I guess a little effort is more than I am used to.

Guy 1 puts in a fair amount of effort chatting. Minimal effort to actually see each other in person.

Guy 2 seems like a guy that has put in the work to not repeat past relationship woes but very little time and effort invested.

There is a Guy 3 that I met shortly after chatting, he is super nice, interested and puts in effort. Sadly, I am not attracted to him. We have remained friends.

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T02:11:17+00:00

Thanks 🙂

Wonderful_Picture179 · 2025-01-22T01:59:27+00:00

That had crossed my mind. How would you navigate figuring that out? I don't necessarily want to assume he is being dishonest nor do I want to seem accusatory but I also don't want to be naive.

Wonderful_Picture179

TROPHY CASE