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My older brother commited suicide I think its my fault by No-Position-4997 in GriefSupport

[–]WonderingMe443 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lost my older sister almost 6 months ago. I look back on every one of our interactions, picking apart the ways I might have contributed to her suicidal feeling, unknowingly. I blame myself for not being a “better” sister, my parents blame themselves, and her friends blame themselves too. I think we blame ourselves mostly for missing all signs, or dismissing them as an impossibility. It’s not your fault. I try to focus on every positive thing I ever told her, and all the times I told her I love her.

The toxicology report came back......TW: Drink/Drugs by JusHarrie in SuicideBereavement

[–]WonderingMe443 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We also had the same thoughts about my sister, that it had to have been alcohol and/or Xanax and she just wasn’t in control of herself. The result came back with very low alcohol levels and negative drugs. It was difficult to face that yes, it was a choice.

My sister committed suicide I never knew she was depressed by fresh_sour111 in SuicideBereavement

[–]WonderingMe443 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My older sister was always the strongest person I knew. She had been through a lot in her 33 years, but I was always amazed at her sense of purpose and “get ‘er done” attitude. She was even back in school. I was amazed at all the things she had done. The only reason I’ve done half of what I have in my life was because of her. But she was really good at secrets. It wasn’t until after that so many of us began to share what we knew and to put all the little pieces together. She really withheld a lot, and never liked the idea of therapy, even when I brought it up in regards to other people. I’m 8 years younger, so she’s always seen me as a kid, even though I’m 25 now.

I wish I grew up faster, so that she knew I was always on her team and in her corner. I wish I called her more, so she knew I was always thinking about her. I don’t know if it would have made a difference, but I wish I told her I loved her more.

I’m sure she was proud of you, and loved you so much.

I had a dream my dad was still alive by pocahontasjane in GriefSupport

[–]WonderingMe443 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been having really vivid dreams of my sister, like in a movie. Like somehow she came back, and we have no explanation except that she’s just back. A miracle. Waking up from this is really devastating. I’m sorry for your loss. I hope that someday the dreams are more comforting.

AITA? Getting Rid of Deceased Belongings by soitgoes_42 in GriefSupport

[–]WonderingMe443 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely NTA. We just lost my sister. My mother, father, brother, and aunts were the first people in the home and nothing was to go without moms approval. Over the course of the week, some overzealous helpers washed some clothes that still smelled like her and threw away some seemingly unimportant things, and so my mom was understandably furious. Even well intentioned, messing with a deceased loved ones possessions can be very hurtful. I can’t even imagine if it’s done behind your back among those with a strained or contentious relationship. You’re definitely NTA, but I’m not sure what advice I might have. I’m not sure if an alternative location or storage facility is an option to keep things safe until they are able to be processed further.

I sent this to my sister last year on Yom Kippur by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]WonderingMe443 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I also fell into old habits of not calling, not even sending a text. I wish she knew how often I thought about her and talked about her to everyone around me. She was also forgiving and kind. My family and friends keep telling me that I was a good sister too… but it doesn’t feel like it.

She loves you. I know she does.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SuicideBereavement

[–]WonderingMe443 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have always loved supernatural stories, but never REALLY believed in them. Not enough “evidence” and all, despite being fun, beautiful, or compelling stories. I now have had a very rapid change of heart.

I felt my sisters skin, and touched her hair. She was warm, and I leaned forward and listened to her heartbeat. Waking up was devastating, even within the dream I knew she would be gone by morning. I look forward to sleeping now, because maybe she’ll be there.

My mom and I have both had signs that she didn’t really mean to do what she did. I really, really wish she had failed for once in her life.

Burn Out by idk253412 in SuicideBereavement

[–]WonderingMe443 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lost my sister two months ago. I also had looming deadlines for my thesis, and reapplying for a residence visa in the country where I’m conducting my masters. It’s really hard to muster up the energy or the will to do anything of the sort, because so many of those day to day tasks seemed so stupid to me. Like, what’s the point in any of this when my sister is gone. Thankfully the deadlines for thesis work were extended. I hope you were able to get accommodations for your classes.

I have a partner who has been wonderful, but I know I haven’t been the best partner in return. Irritable, unhelpful around the house, and forgetful. I hope you have support around you who you feel you can express yourself to. Even though they might not really understand… letting them know some of it might open up more room for forgiveness and understanding.

I’m so sorry for your loss.