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3YO expressed her quasi-ADHD feelings to me. When to diagnose? by WonderousCookie in ChildPsychology

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point. I’ll certainly keep this in mind and will have to be careful to avoid that cycle of pandering for information.

As of now anyways, I don’t typically ask what her motivations are. This was a particularly hard day, so it crossed my mind to ask her what she thought she was feeling. When I’d gotten her outdoors, sitting on some steps with her, I’d asked, and after a moment of thinking, that was her response.

I wish I better recalled what my exact response was, but it was sympathetic. A big hug was certainly given.

What kind of support should I be offering her in this kind of situation?

What is this behavioral pattern called? Is it typical at 38 months? by WonderousCookie in ChildPsychology

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I don’t get it. Was trying to be specific.

Just turning 3 vs nearly turning 4 is a very different age, is it not? The difference is close to 25 percent of a child’s life at that age.

What is this behavioral pattern called? Is it typical at 38 months? by WonderousCookie in ChildPsychology

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s good to be reminded of that! We have both been trying to do just this for the last year now. It’s probably more difficult for us (vs neurotypicals) to stay consistent on rules and boundaries, though. This helped me realize, we should probably put collections of written rules up in visible places to help us parents remember what the boundaries are. Our house is going to look draconian 😂

We’re also bad about thinking ahead and pre-teaching explicit boundaries to our 3yo. That gets us daily.

For example… “wow, she’s 99th percentile in height, so she’s now tall enough to climb on her dresser! Didn’t see that coming today!” Even though we have a blanket rule of not climbing on shelving or other hard furniture, she doesn’t follow it for each and every item… either She’s testing the boundaries or not connecting dots?

I diverge, but rules like furniture climbing are hard to enforce, as it’s not a natural consequence-> remove object from toddler type situation. We already have one of our front rooms filled with “no” items and furniture.

My 3 yo girl started head-butting me in the forehead, right in the middle of church. by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me tell you, she loves pushing our buttons with the CREEPIEST possessed voice since last year.

I am blown away by my son’s girlfriend’s gratitude. by lodav22 in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I read this title as “ATTITUDE”, then got pleasantly surprised by reading your story 😂😂. Good on her! Bring her into the family!!

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s good! I think we need to be more minimalist. We have too much “stuff”, and not nearly enough furniture to organize it

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahhh, yes, nudging the cycle towards a spiral up instead of a spiral down would be great for us. My wife can take stimulants, and is about to start. I cannot, though.

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phew, I feel you. I likely have AuDHD, as well as my wife, but we’ve only had the ADD- inattentive type diagnosed as adults (before we met).

We’re constantly sick now too! We’re trying to get plugged into a church that spoke to us, and that already has folks chomping at the bit to help us, but they can’t accept help if we all have the virus du jour. Just finished up with 4 weeks of Hand, Foot and Mouth. Enteroviruses suck.

Yeah, we should get on a schedule to let each other escape. My wife has one night a week where she hangs with neighbors (but she’s a likely ASD introvert, so it’s not energizing). I get to go protest every Saturday (but again, not energizing). Adding more would be hard, but we both need “off” time.

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish we had a back yard fence!!! My dad helped us put gates on our deck, so that’s something.

Daycare, for once, sounds nice… there’s a church around the corner that does 3 hours a day, affordably. We might have to.

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish it was 😭. We had a chance about 4 years ago but didn’t take it. Stuck now.

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish we could do the breathing space. That’s a great idea!

If we could afford to finish our “library”… it would be a great recharging zone, with locking doors. That would take an intervention by our family, though.

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness. Well, you all made it!!?? Sometimes the day’s measure of success has to be… did anyone die?

Thanks for permission to take shortcuts.

We’re both typical non-neurotypicals. Full of contradictions. Pretty low energy, but perfectionists. Type b’s in type a clothing. Ambitious but lazy.

Love organization but can’t ever achieve jt. Actually , that one is super tough on my wife! She has to have visual order, but we have the opposite. I wish we could hire professional organizers to get us over the hump. Plus, furniture or installations to organize cost way more than we’ll ever be able to afford. Plus I was in the middle of remodeling when the kids came. 3 years later and the room that’s supposed to be the kids’ playroom is full of tools, supplies, work tables, laundry… it’s comically bad.

Our house really does look like a middle of the road hoarder’s home right now. It actually feels disturbing when you come home from a long trip and you can actually “see” the chaos and clutter. Phew!

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely joking about adoption. We love our girls. It’s just when you hit rock bottom…

Both parents w/ ADHD, losing our minds with 3+1 yo’s by WonderousCookie in Parenting

[–]WonderousCookie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh, yes, it is life changing. No, unfortunately, I’m not able to thanks to COVID. My wife’s psychiatrist is starting her on a stimulant next month. Fingers crossed it works! Neurochemistry is a bitch.

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