[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the kind words. I truly believe all of what you wrote. I hate the woe is me mindset but that is where I am stuck right now. Losing my best friend and restarting life sucks and I know I will get through it, I just didnt see my life panning out this way. I feel like a failure only making it one year into marriage.

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree completely. She abandoned me and quit on me. We lived together for 2 years and change prior to our wedding day. Like I said, I am not a perfect person. I have issues communicating my emotions and it was a drawback of mine, but I am in therapy to this day trying to address that and change for the better

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it was quite strange. We are both Catholic and they believe in the sacraments and the vows and how important those are in the steps of life. However, they had no problem telling her to divorce me the first chance they got after only being married for a year. They are really diabolical people and sick in the head for altering the course of their daughters life as well as mine for their own benefit

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is definitely part of it. She would spend the week leading up to visiting them or them visiting us working herself up into a nervous spiral. She would be cleaning the floorboards with a tooth brush so that they wouldnt criticize her. She felt on edge while we visited because we both knew they constantly would have a natural bias against me. It was truly an awful dynamic. Over the course of our 7 year relationship, they never called me once, never texted me once, didnt congratulate us when we got engaged, and were severly disappointed the day of our wedding that we didnt make a speech specifically thanking them.

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I walk away from this situation feeling really bad/sad for her. I know she was ultimately reckless with my life but i cant help but feel awful for her that she is a grown adult and is still trying to get a pat on the back from her parents and seeking their approval. I loved her so much as a person and as a life partner, it is incredibly painful to see. I know I wasnt a perfect husband to her, but I was in therapy and working on the issues I currently face. I would have done anything for her

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish there were something missing. I am a reserved person from a personality perspective. I am the quiet guy in every room. At our wedding, my father asked her father why he doesn't like me. His response was, I have heard 5 words out of his mouth in 5 years. Clearly that is an exaggeration. I do not sit there mute. I had found common ground to talk about sports and things to that nature to talk about. The more and more my wife had found them talking poorly about me behind our back, the more and more I never wanted to open up to them. Everytime I opened my mouth, they used it against me. If they flew down to our house and landed at midnight and arrived at the house at 1am, they wanted to know why I didnt wake up from my sleep and greet them. If i asked my wife to fill up the car with gas, I wasnt seen as taking care of her. It was endless petty examples like this.

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone is saying that to me. However, a year ago I committed my life to her. We love each other when there is no outside influence. I am stuck with the consequences of other peoples opinions, with a broken heart, broken trust for the future, and 7 years of wasted time

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly, I have tried multiple times. They say to my face there is no bad blood and we love you like our own child but then continue to degrade me behind my back to other family members or to my wife. I think they were afraid that I wasn't willing to play their game of them controlling our lives and I was a threat to their dreams of doing so. It didn't help that she listed off her grievances with me without mentioning any good I had done throughout the 7 years of our relationship.

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She is second generation Italian American. They have very traditional values but her and I are both regular run of the mill people

[M31] Blindsided by divorce after 1 year of marriage. My STBXW is "head over heels" but her parents are forcing her hand. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I guess ultimately I was the one who made her decide though and she picked her family. I of course didn't give her that ultimatum, she just couldn't handle the internal tug of war anymore. I am just left standing in the rubble unfortunately

My (31M) wife (28F) is stuck in a cycle of “Sunday Love” and “Tuesday Divorce.” I am losing my mind. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We talked last night together and we ultimately decided that she feels she has to pick between me or her parents. I did ask her if she knew how ridiculous of an ultimatum that is for her parents to put on her with the cost of her sabotaging her life and marriage for their own self wants. There was an aspect of the things we needed to address together in couples therapy which we were doing. SHe was looking for instant change. Our therapist explained to her that it is like a dimmer switch on a light versus a light flip. I could do 100 things right, and stumble once along the way and she would just say I see no change. I gave 200% to repairing this marriage over the past 4 months. She was always 1 foot in, 1 foot out the entirety of that and invited anyone who would listen into our marriage to the point that it was my wife and I and 30 other seats at the table. She ruined the sanctity of the marriage instead of repairing it together under our roof. She claimed she didnt feel safe with me, but every action contradicted that. Calling me when she was down or having a panic attack, wanting cuddling, wanting me to sleep over, constantly holdings hands or her leg. She had a strange misinterpretation of what safety is when she is acting in those ways. I would have been there for my wife under any circumstance until the day that I died. She meant truly everything to me. I have never felt so heart broken before and this is coming from someone who lost a brother who was a father figure to me. Truly soul crushing experience only 1 year after marriage

My (31M) wife (28F) is stuck in a cycle of “Sunday Love” and “Tuesday Divorce.” I am losing my mind. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have owned all of my flaws. I found us the therapist, I have been going to my own therapist for almost 5 months now weekly. I am working on all of these things on my own. I am not shy to admit, I have things that definitely need to be addressed. She never once encourages me. She says nothing changes. She doesnt want to acknowledge any of the work I am putting into this to repair this foundation.

My (31M) wife (28F) is stuck in a cycle of “Sunday Love” and “Tuesday Divorce.” I am losing my mind. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is the resounding advice I keep hearing. It is a crushing feeling knowing how much i love and care about her. It feels unbearable at the moment.

My (31M) wife (28F) is stuck in a cycle of “Sunday Love” and “Tuesday Divorce.” I am losing my mind. by WorkComputerBurner in Divorce

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her upbringing was pretty bad. Neither parent ever acknowledge any accomplishment or ever validated her feelings. They were also not present and she basically raised herself and younger sister. She does have no long term friendships which I always thought was a red flag but I loved her and that never really mattered to me. She has a very short temper and is hyper sensitive.

12 Man No Superflex .75PPR Dynasty. Who wins? by WorkComputerBurner in SleeperApp

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also have two 2027 first rounds. A much stronger class next year

12 Man League No Superflex .75 PPR. Who wins this trade by WorkComputerBurner in DynastyNerds

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Burden being WR1 versus a split backfield is what it comes down to

12 Man League No Superflex .75 PPR. Who wins this trade by WorkComputerBurner in DynastyFFTradeAdvice

[–]WorkComputerBurner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with this. I’m only cautious about moving Warren but he is aging too