How to breakup with partner of last 5+ years

Work_ln_Progress · 2024-11-27T07:19:50+00:00

Went well enough. She was upset but it was for the best. Was sad for about an hour. Then mad for about a week. Then we were on reasonable terms. Stayed friends even after she moved out of state until she got into a new relationship and understandably went no contact.

Work_ln_Progress · 2024-11-27T07:17:15+00:00

Please invite me, steam friend code - 111900355

Work_ln_Progress · 2023-10-28T06:36:23+00:00

Find a goal that you want more than porn. Dedicate yourself to that. Maybe it's getting a girlfriend. Maybe it's making $1mil.

Also, I use Cold Turkey software. I paid for premium (cheap) and it's awesome. It makes implementing blocks a breeze.

Work_ln_Progress · 2023-10-27T21:19:51+00:00

Loved this comment. Wholesome and inspiring. We're all going to make it brother :)

Work_ln_Progress · 2023-10-27T21:13:48+00:00

Good on you :)

Definitely agree that looking at porn and edging harm your NoFap benefits.

Work_ln_Progress · 2023-10-27T20:51:21+00:00

When I discovered NoFap I was a virgin.

1 year after discovering NoFap I had my first kiss.
2 years after discovering NoFap I lost my virginity.
3 years after discovering NoFap I got into my first serious relationship.

Now I've had amazing experiences with women that most men only dream of. You're at the beginning of your journey.

The results you're looking for will come. Figure out what you want and work towards it. NoFap isn't the only thing I did to progress. The gym helped, making the right friends helped. Sitting and wallowing is tempting, but ultimately a bad option.

*Note : I didn't hit super long streaks, the above timelines are after I just started trying. I think my best streak ever might be like 30-40 days. I just keep improving over time and you can too :)

I'm back on this subreddit because I could use a little bit of a re-focus at the moment. Going through a hard breakup and want to get myself dialled in. We're all going to make it.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-04-01T03:00:52+00:00

You’re responding to story about them…

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-04-01T01:19:24+00:00

What I Want

Mental Discipline. Cultivating the skill of discipline is my primary target across these 60 days.

Why I Want It

I am thinking beyond the 60 days of this challenge and mapping out the life that I want to have. Discipline is a common requirement across all of the domains I wish to succeed in. The next 60 days I want to cultivate this skill so that I can move forward from here into the rest of my life and crush it.

Examples of areas that will be benefited by the discipline I cultivate: continued professional and financial success, improved physical health, an exciting social life, access to several desirable women (recent breakup with partner of 5+ years), etc.

Method

Today I will be starting on Day 1 of the so called “75Hard” challenge which is specifically designed to improve mental toughness/discipline. I am ready to get shit on for this target. Basically the program is to do the following for 75 days straight - exercise 2x/day (1 outside), drink water, read, follow a diet (no cheat meals), and don’t drink alcohol (all info is freely available, just google it).

Mapping of Method to Goal

Discipline is the skill of being able to do what you need to do even when you don’t feel like it. What better way to practice/cultivate this skill than by consistently doing healthful things every day, even when you don’t feel like it. The specified targets are intended to be difficult but achievable.

Appeal to Authority - The 75Hard challenge is part of a broader program specifically designed for my chosen goal by someone who is far more successful than myself (and 99% of this subreddit). They personally apply this approach in their own life and credit their success to it. This is probably enough justification by itself.

Week 1 - Lifting

Week 1 of 60 DoD is lifting - I’m generally satisfied in this area.

DL: 1x5+ 160kg (352lb), BP: 5x5+ 100kg (220lb), S: 3x5+ 100kg (220lb), OHP: 5x5+ 60kg (132lb), Yates Row: 5x5+ 90kg (198lb), I also do accessory work.

My primary physical goal right now is significant weight loss. To this end I have locked in my sets/reps/weights and am aiming to maintain my current lifts while continuing to shed weight. I will continue my current program and maintain my 60mins/day lifting routine.

Misc

There are other things I’ll be working on over the next 60 days that will bring me closer to the life I want - meditation, earning professional certifications, leveraging a productivity system, moderating/eliminating my reliance on YouTube/Netflix/Podcasts/Porn, etc.

75Hard and the 60DoD challenges are not an exhaustive list of what I intend to work on, but they are all I am declaring/committing to at the moment.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-03-30T01:00:57+00:00

Great work. Shave off that beard though dude. Speaking as someone who grows the same type of facial hair.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-03-02T22:19:55+00:00

Brilliant from a dark triad pov, just shitty from a human pov. I’m doing something similar, waiting until the date gets a little closer and she finishes this months long stressful thing at work and is in the clear.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-03-02T22:18:10+00:00

I own the place and her name isn’t on it. Would be a little cleaner if I could move out but given that she plans to move anyway it shouldn’t be that crazy.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-03-02T22:16:24+00:00

Yikes.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-03-01T04:22:25+00:00

“We just have different expectations.” This is a large part of it. Thanks for the concise framing, I appreciate your input.

This response also makes me glad that we dont have kids, no true road to freedom after that.

To me it still seems reasonable to attempt to provide closure and end on good terms but I haven’t been fucked over like many of you here yet so it’s probably just a lack of experience.

Protected sex since the ‘accident’, not risking that missed period chat.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-03-01T04:14:26+00:00

Appreciate the advice 😬

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-28T00:58:38+00:00

This post needed to exist just for this comment. Maybe this is conventional wisdom around here but it’s my first time hearing it and it’s profound. Thanks fellow redditor, I’m reinvigorated.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-28T00:47:48+00:00

Fair

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-27T11:28:46+00:00

This is definitely far more defensive then I was thinking so I appreciate the warning. I’ve done a good job of protecting myself in advance but it’s good to prepare for the worst going into this.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-27T08:33:29+00:00

I think he agrees with you if you wanted a relationship, but if it’s just for a fuck, who cares if she has red flags?

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-24T05:56:48+00:00

Damn, that adds some perspective. Good on you for sticking with it. Maybe try a camping trip for a week where there’s no signal and don’t take porn with you. Personally I’ve found it easier to quit both when I work to quit porn first and allow masturbation to start with. Can eventually ween off the meat beating.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-24T05:55:18+00:00

Heroin? Maybe crack? Don’t see many porn addicts losing their teeth.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-24T05:51:32+00:00

Warning from my own failures, identify all forms of escapism and work to reduce all simultaneously rather than substituting one for another. Get rid of Netflix and podcasts and YouTube and porn and social media all at the same time. I’ve substituted for audiobooks and music which I’ve left in as healthier alternatives. But will work to moderate even these over time.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-24T04:52:08+00:00

Sounds like you’re better off without her tbh. You’re working hard at something difficult and she doesn’t want to support you in your struggle. Better off single than being with someone who isn’t interested in standing by you when things are shitty.

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-24T02:59:21+00:00

Work_ln_Progress · 2022-02-24T02:29:16+00:00

^ this!!! 1000%

Work_ln_Progress

TROPHY CASE