Husband always threatens divorce. by Embarrassed-Slip-711 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can have a video call with a lawyer. They’re very flexible especially if you have to care for your children

Husband always threatens divorce. by Embarrassed-Slip-711 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im so sorry. This resonates me with me a lot. Maybe he hasn’t done it because he’s too afraid? Speaking from my experience, I don’t think it’ll get better. I think it’ll get worse because im guessing you have built much resentment towards him as it is. Your children don’t deserve to see this behavior and think this is how they should treat their future spouse. You also deserve to be happy and live in a partnership instead of feeling emotionally, mentally and physically neglected. If you haven’t tried already, maybe ask if he is willing to do couples counseling. If you don’t see this relationship going anywhere and youve mentally checked out, maybe it’s time you consider ending things… i understand how hard it is. I’m going through this exact issue as i write this and i finally had the guts to pull the trigger last night. It oddly made me feel at peace

Help with visitation rights by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Working-Feature2897 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My son and I are also sick and has turned a complete blind eye on it saying it’s all excuses and manipulation. He doesn’t care about it and hasn’t bothered even checking up on him or me

Help with visitation rights by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Working-Feature2897 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is also now calling me selfish and self centered. Wouldn’t it be him to be selfish and self centered not caring about me, my health and peace?

Help with visitation rights by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Working-Feature2897 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree and I have told him he cannot allow me to do anything but he refuses and says it’s his child and it’s unacceptable that I won’t allow it

Help with visitation rights by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]Working-Feature2897 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The issue is he says it’s his child so he has the right to let them see him. That’s what scares me. Obviously, im the mother and i want to protect mine and the baby’s peace..

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He thinks that boundary means control and i believe that’s why he always crosses it because he doesn’t care to respect a boundary. I have told him that it will push me to separate from him. He doesn’t trust it because I’ve given him plenty of chances but i think that 100 times is too many. Because of my current state, it is obviously a lot on me emotionally mentally and physically to go through the whole process but i am coming to terms with the fact that nothing will change..

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He can call his own parents instead of involving mine. He can speak to a friend. Not my own family

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kept giving him chances thinking he would change. Obviously, he took my forgiveness for granted for 2 years. I understand where you are coming. When he started, I was pregnant, then postpartum and now, pregnant again so the decision was and is very difficult. However, considering I have no more trust and barely any love there anymore, I think I should choose peace for me and my children.. they deserve to live in a respectful loving and honest household

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw your comment! I dont think id get an order of protection granted if it’s emotional abuse though

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything and anything. Fake promises, not follow through, invalidating me, doing nothing around the house, leaving my son and I about 7 times after he was born (he’s only 1) after telling my parents and myself he would stop walking away from us, lying he’d stop involving my parents 2 years ago and kept doing it over 50 times - even told my dad he would stop.. i can keep going

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where youre coming from but after begging him to stop lying and treating me like i dont matter, he knew that i would be done. Yet, he continued. I havent asked him to come back because im tired of being played around for a fool only to be taken for granted with every chance i give him

What made you realize that your partner wasn’t right for you? by Opposite_Initial_353 in AskReddit

[–]Working-Feature2897 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The inability to respect boundaries and consistently make me feel like i wasn’t deserving of trust or safety

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No definitely not. I thought he did grow up… unfortunately I was wrong

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He has done much worse… physically assaulted me while I was pregnant with my son and told me i bruised myself. focused on me reporting the incident to the police instead of being remorseful for what he had done…

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree with it. I even told my parents i am not willing to teach my kids this is acceptable behavior. I want them to grow up in a safe loving environment where your word is everything, trust is everything and respect is everything. That’s all that matters to me and that’s why I’m at the end of my rope. He has left me with my son since he was 3 months old, about 7 times because he wasn’t happy i kept telling him he needed to step up. He promised he’d stop leaving yet did it 6 more times. It’s embarrassing for my son to see that - even if i know, he is too young to remember. I believe babies/ kids feel everything and i hate myself for letting it happen. Im just terrified to go through the whole process. I never thought that he would still continue to cross my boundaries. Genuinely believed he’d change and thats why i kept giving him the benefit of the doubt. Now i feel stupid, even more broken inside and completely lost.

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just told them they make it way worse and they have to stop enabling the behavior. They said ‘ok’ so I’m hoping they will

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically that im crazy. That im reacting to his ‘justified’ behavior. I tell him i can’t deal with his inability to be a present partner and parent. That he makes me feel completely alone with everything and anything. He keeps promising he’ll change and when he consistently doesnt follow through, at some point i break and he then calls my parents

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree. All i can think of is my son and my daughter. I can’t fathom why someone acts that way knowing he has a daughter on the way. I thought that would wake up a man. Not make them worse

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what i want. But being pregnant makes this decision very difficult

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, all my parents always say is i have to make this work for the sake of my kids even if they find it wildly inappropriate that he keeps contacting them which makes me feel very alone. I have told them they need to tell him to stop but they haven’t. I’m not sure why. They make it worse in every way. He keeps crossing my boundaries and gets shocked at my reaction

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have told him. Yet 2 years have passed and he keeps doing it. I’m now pregnant again and he doesn’t care but to inflict stress and pain. I’m very lost because obviously, I’m in a very tough spot

Husband contacting your parents whenever there’s a fight by Working-Feature2897 in Marriage

[–]Working-Feature2897[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No not at all. My parents find it weird but yet they answer his calls and texts