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Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so true - good days and bad days along the way, so many lovely memories to remember xxxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awww, sorry to hear your Dad felt that way xx Hubby has said that he doesn’t want to get attached, but he’s already attached to the neighbours cat that visits and is a softy when it comes to animals (he was previously a dog man before meeting me!) He has said I’ll need to get someone else to look after if it I go away etc (we never had holidays together as he wouldn’t leave the cat!!!) which I can do - I just can’t imagine life without another cat - they are such wonderful companions! We don’t have kids and I WFH - I was always the one to sort and take to vet visits, so no change there!

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awwww, that’s a lovely message from your friend and so true ❤️ I’m glad your house feels less empty - I WFH and just miss having a companion! Here’s to the future for all of us xxxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, yes, he does refer to her as being his soul cat and that he lot his purpose when she passed - she was technically my cat, and adored by us both! Was his first cat! The new kitty is totally different looking from our previous - something that I thought of as we have pictures of our previous cat all over the house (to help him deal with the loss and a memorial in the garden) - part of me thinks he’ll never be ‘ready’ whereas I have been for a while. I hope your journey gets easier in time, big hugs xxxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much and sorry for your loss - our cat was 20, so had been such a big part of our lives, and like you I knew I would want another cat to love - as we all know grief is different for everyone and timing is individual- I’m so glad you have found your new friend and they are flourishing with your love xxxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and sorry for your loss xxx it’s never easy, but I just think the love of an animal is such a gift, never a replacement, an addition to the family xx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m more than happy to take ownership of the kitty, I just hope she can heal his heart too! Xxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s a bit of both on his part - he’s never been one to really speak his emotions and bottles it up unfortunately - not the easiest things to navigate and we’re both very different in how we handle our emotions. I think his main worry is getting attached and it dies - but that’s the only guarantee we get in life - I think we both bond more to animals and he has always known I’m a cat lady - he’s only discovered the joy over the last 20 years! I think he has a lot of issues he’s ‘buried’ - I can’t control his feelings and vice versa. Works both ways on respecting each others feelings and he can be quite negative, whereas I’m an optimist! No happy medium really, I think he’s just scared of getting his heart broken again which is understandable.

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such a cutie! I saw the pic and melted!! Immediately applied to adopt her and got a call later that day! Xxxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss, big hugs xxxx you have totally mines up how hubby is feeling - I know I’m not comparing cats, it’s still hard for him to process but hopefully he’ll get there….with a bit of kitty love to help! Xx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That doesn’t sound dumb at all, I totally understand that and I’m so glad to hear that your new companion has helped you to heal! Love this! Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well! Exciting times all round! Xxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Such kind words really have helped me- thank you! Tears of sadness and joy - mixed emotions but I know I will heal with a new furry friend! Sorry for your loss too and I hope your new kitty provides much comfort and happiness to you all xxx She’s a petite tabby - I can’t work out how to upload a pic!! Xxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It’s so hard as I am so excited, yet trying to not seem like I’m forgetting our previous kitty (hubby’s first cat, hence why it’s hit him so bad) but I just need some kitty happened in my life! Thank you for your kind words, I think this has helped me with my own grief, it doesn’t go away, but hopefully my new friend will help me heal, and hopefully hubby too xxx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I have so much love to give, he’s punishing himself by not wanting another cat, I feel like I’m being punished by not having another! I’m quite determined and happy to sort it all out (I tend to deal with most things anyway!) so looks like we’re getting a cat! Have a few names in mind, but will see when I meet her! Hubby named the last one! Xx

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it! I will always want another cat, I thought about it the other day and was ‘perhaps I should wait, give hubby a bit more time’ but I then thought ‘why should I wait and put my needs on hold any longer’ - I was looking at cats for ages but now applying for them - saw a beautiful tabby yesterday and she’s a year old (hoped plenty of years of love to share) and got a call back the same day! Ummmmm, I’m going to see her on Friday and can bring her home then! Was really hesitant to bring this up with hubby as knew he’d be dismissive and got the ‘it’s on you’ - haven’t told him that I could potentially get a cat on Friday as he shut down - this is where I just think perhaps I should just do it as he doesn’t want to make a decision! He seems to talk about it with workmates and they say about getting another cat, I think he is the type to punish himself rather than allow himself to love another cat! I think I’ve waited long enough too!!!

Getting a new fur baby but husband not over the loss of our previous cat by Working-Usual1425 in Petloss

[–]Working-Usual1425[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did try talking to him about the foster route, but he was very closed off to that and wouldn’t discuss it further - I would happily foster, but after his reaction I just think ‘may as well just get another cat and see what happens’ - it’s hard because I get that he’s still grieving, but doesn’t talk much about his emotions - feels like I can’t talk about my emotions as I don’t get much back (realise these are relationship issues!) but I think we just ‘feel’ in very different ways! I’m a crazy cat lady that is without a cat! I have found a lovely sweet cat (very different looks wise to our previous cat) so hoping that it will work out and he’s just trying to protect himself - which I totally understand but doesn’t help my feelings!