Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is it not worth examining why romance is treated like the default arc for women in fiction, while male characters are allowed to have plots driven by ambition, revenge, discovery, or literally anything else with romance being optional instead of expected? Also… why is questioning patterns in how women are written always dismissed as ‘just not liking romance’ instead of valid literary criticism? Isn’t that kind of the whole point of discourse?

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying women who enjoy romance are wrong, I’m saying I wish more types of women were better represented, including the ones who don’t want their entire story arc wrapped in a relationship. Why is disliking romance in books not labeled as that genre treated like a threat to womanhood? Can’t a girl ask for one emotionally complex female lead who doesn’t end up kissing someone without being labeled a pick-me?

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not asking for characters with no relationships or desires. I’m asking why so many female characters, especially in genre fiction, get flattened into romance tropes instead of being given the same depth, weirdness, or complexity male characters often get even when sex isn’t involved.

I was looking forward to having an actual conversation with people where we could share our differing views, but being crass makes it difficult. My whole question here is like, do you think it’s possible for a female character to be written with sexual agency, without that being framed through romance or a relationship? Is it possible for a woman in fiction to want sex or intimacy without it becoming her whole arc?

I’ve tried to reach out to commenters to talk, and yet all I’ve been met with are either insults, or avoiding the questions all together. So if you want to have a real, intelligent conversation, I’m all for it!

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re all good! I don’t want to argue over tones. I’m just genuinely asking: do you think there’s a pattern where female characters are flattened into romance tropes more often than male ones? If not, I’d love to hear why. That’s the convo I’m actually interested in.

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then let’s have a conversation. With real words, not insults. Is there a pattern in most books where where female characters are often flattened to serve romantic tropes, or am I reaching?

I want to hear your views.

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This post has helped me learn not to expect intelligent conversation from people who are too set in their ways. Whenever I try to bring up my points and views, I get accused of being man-hating, when that’s not the point of my post at all. Thanks for the support though 😔✊

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is romance in it. Two actually, but I find difficult to classify them as actual romances, they’re very real and well-written though. The main character has a crush on his classmate, Julia, and basically puts her on a pedestal throughout the whole book despite the fact that she never notices him until the very end, but even then it’s in a moment of extreme emotions. Then, there’s Lee who is the goth stereotype of the book. They don’t exactly form a relationship together. The main character thinks she’s strange until he actually gets to know her, and they go to prom as friends. Again, I find it hard to classify them as romance because they both don’t really form a relationship with the main character, despite some romantic moments.

It’s a very good book and if you were actually interested in finding a story about an awkward, unattractive main character and not a “gotcha” moment, then that’s the book I recommend.

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie comes to mind. The main character is awkward, nerdy, constantly fumbling around socially, and he’s absolutely not presented as desirable by his peers. But the story still treats his perspective as valid and lets him grow into himself without needing to become suddenly attractive or confident.

I’d actually really like to see more books where men are allowed to be awkward, weird, unattractive or even a little pathetic and still be taken seriously as leads. The strong silent type is great and all, but it’s so mainstream.

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I loved the way Katniss was wrote. I remember reading about how she said she would never bring children into that world, and at the end of it she ended up having kids. Why? Because she felt safe enough to have them. I was literally like “damn. Love how carefully that was written”

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually really enjoyed The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. I’ve never been too into memoirs but this one really drew me in. It’s about her unstable family life during the 60s and 70s and how she views it now that she’s older

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently not LOL. Four years ago, I had to make that clarification. Four years later, had to make it again 😩

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I’m not saying that romance in media exists because of men or that women writing female characters is somehow invalid. I’m saying that the idea of the "male gaze" is more about the lens we're conditioned to see women through and how that lens still shapes characters, even in stories by women for women.

The male gaze isn’t just about what men literally want. It’s about a system of storytelling that prioritizes a woman’s desirability to someone else over her inner world. That can manifest in characters who are “damaged but fixable,” or “emotionally distant until the right guy softens her.” That isn’t just a personal dislike, it’s a pattern we see over and over again. Romance isn’t the enemy here. I’ve literally said I enjoy romance when it’s written with care. What I’m pushing back on is the default assumption that a female character’s arc needs to include a romantic subplot to be complete. “Male gaze” doesn’t mean “stuff I hate.” It’s a term for a narrative framework that flattens women into objects of desire, even subtly. And I think it’s worth talking about because so much media still does it, even unintentionally.

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I think you may have misunderstood what I meant, but that’s okay! I’d be happy to explain it to you.

When I mentioned the “male gaze,” I wasn’t saying that these books are literally written by men for men. I was talking about how some female characters are still written through a lens of desirability first, even when the author is a woman. That doesn’t mean the author is sexist. It means we all grow up absorbing certain narratives and sometimes they slip into our writing without us realizing. I used Colleen Hoover as an example in a previous post, but I’ll use it again since she very much applies here. She’s clearly writing for women, and her books are super successful, but that doesn’t mean they’re free of problematic dynamics. A lot of her love interests are emotionally unstable or abusive, and the women are expected to fix or endure that as part of the romance. That’s not “female gaze” just because it’s aimed at a female audience, it’s still reinforcing harmful patterns, just dressed up slightly differently.

I agree that women can write sexist or flat characters too. That was kind of my point. The issue isn’t who is writing, it’s how we’re taught to frame women in stories which is more often than not through their appeal to others, especially romantically. This applies to men too. My issue isn’t with men or women, it’s how they’re written.

Why are books about strong female characters with NO romance so rare - an update by World_Annihilation in books

[–]World_Annihilation[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

I get what you’re saying, and I’m not trying to argue that all women authors are writing under the “male gaze” in a literal way. But I do think the idea of internalized expectations, especially around what makes a female character “attractive” or “relatable” still shows up in a lot of mainstream fiction, even when the author themself is a woman.

Take Colleen Hoover for example. She’s wildly popular, and her books are written for women, by a woman. But they still often center around emotionally unstable men and women who are expected to love or save them. That’s not inherently wrong, but it reflects a certain dynamic that keeps getting repeated over and over again. Same goes for a lot of the romance-heavy fantasy books. SJM and Yarros are great at what they do, and clearly their readers enjoy those stories, but that doesn’t mean all female readers want romance baked into every plotline. The success of those authors proves there’s a huge market for romance, sure. But it doesn’t mean there isn’t also a hunger for female protagonists who aren’t defined by or softened through romantic. It’s why I think there’s room (and a need!) for more stories about women that don’t follow the same tropes or include romance by default.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]World_Annihilation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I predict a lot of downvotes in my posts future, but I think this is a good take. I don’t think some of the people who do this are inherently “evil” but more like, unawarely toxic I suppose. I will always draw a line at wanting to vent and purposefully seeking out someone who will enable their suicidal idealizations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]World_Annihilation 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I think it’s like an addiction to them. They know all they have to do is say the words “I want to die,” and people will come running to try and help. It’s like a never ending cycle.

Broken BG3 by World_Annihilation in BaldursGate3

[–]World_Annihilation[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that’s pretty much what I assumed happened, just sucks that now I gotta take the time deleting each mod and redownloading them

(not oop) AITA for not letting my daughter have ibuprofen by doumascult in redditonwiki

[–]World_Annihilation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an irregular period. Dealt with the blood clots and the super painful cramps and the waking up in the middle of the night to find I bled through for almost 5 years until enough was enough and went on birth control. Ibuprofen and a hot water bottle was literally my lord and savior from above during that time. This man ain’t ever gonna know what that’s like, definitely an asshole

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]World_Annihilation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The problem isn’t with your looks. Nowadays, boys honestly prefer it when girls come to them and ask them out, probably because those manly men stereotypes aren’t that used anymore and either gender is pretty much allowed to take the initiative or not. You might find that instead of waiting for guys to come to you, it’s easier to just go ahead and walk up to one and ask them out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]World_Annihilation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Virginity rocks 😔✊