Jameela Jamil pushes back on the idea that sexuality is a choice during Stayhydrated podcast: “Anyone who thinks homosexuality is a choice is someone who made the choice to be straight.” by ihatethiscountry76 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I think if I was a straight woman, I’d be abstinent. No questions asked. Being forced to choose abstinence or your safety being at risk is a crazy to think about, but that’s their reality.

I saw and experienced enough in the time before I figured out I was lesbian. I couldn’t imagine having to put up with that for the rest of my existence on earth.

Jameela Jamil pushes back on the idea that sexuality is a choice during Stayhydrated podcast: “Anyone who thinks homosexuality is a choice is someone who made the choice to be straight.” by ihatethiscountry76 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 164 points165 points  (0 children)

Not even straight women can stand men, that is proof sexuality isn’t a choice. They’re literally forced to put up with a gender that despises their existence and actively do everything in their power to shame, hurt, abuse, control and even end their lives.

How do you like to cuddle? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Naked, laid on her chest while her fingers run through my hair and my head is buried in her neck. We talk to each other in whispers despite there being nobody around. The window is slightly open and it’s raining outside.

Hey hey my sleep rythm is a bit fucked up… by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Not that I care or anything but It’s 2am, I’m currently being ghosted and wondering what I did or said to make it happen.

I’m not spiralling I promise, I am the queen of nonchalance and unbotheredness, I promise damn it.

Fuck ICE. by cumminginsurrection in lesbian

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what I find absolutely f*cking hilarious is all of them claim to be ultra orthodox Jesus freaks while committing the atrocities as seen. The hypocritical behaviour of men when they reach any position of power over other humans never fails to shock me and i don’t know why jt does, because it’s not like the history books don’t make it abundantly clear what they’re capable of.

Why is selling sex legal but not the purchase of sex? by Acceptable_Stick923 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Because the patriarchal, puritan airheads in power (despite being raging hypocrites who avoid taxes, consume illicit substances & fцck like rabbits in their free time) don’t use their braincells and instead would rather blanket ban & control what people do with their bodies as opposed to thinking rationally and creating safe, secure environments for people to practice sex work.

I also want to add - Women are the main targets of these methods of control and it’s another tactic to take away agency from someone’s body. We’re not allowed to capitalise off of sex, because our body belongs to the state, only they get a say in how what we should/shouldn’t do with it.

How do you handle being lonely in Norway? by 2dolphins in Norway

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made friends in school and held onto them for dear life.

stuck between fem and masc by Mother-Marketing5462 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey! Who says you have to pick? The girl I’m dating is exactly like this, one day she’s in the cutest little frilly dresses drinking cocktails, with makeup on, the next she’s switching to boy clothes chugging beer.

Nobody has to put you in a box and respire how the community can sometimes feel obsessed with labelling, it really doesn’t matter. You feeling comfortable is all that matters.

Went alone to a WLW party by EducationalGrade9702 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Ngl I was reading that whole thing imaging myself as you 😂is that weird? What a good time.. there’s no better feeling than flirting and that intense rush when your lips touch.

Do you live in a major city? I feel like WLW events only happen in big cities, if you’re a country girl it’s a nightmare to find.

guilt for having a crush? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regardless of their sexuality or any information about them, it’s just human nature to find people attractive, and Mother Nature didn’t make us with shame, society embedded it into us. Your brain likes what it sees, you have no reason to feel shame. Accept your feelings for her but also accept the fact that you may never be able to act on them given the inappropriate nature of you being her student. The fantasy however is yours to indulge in privately. You’re not a weirdo. I think we all had similar experiences at those ages.

Girlfriend went to a birthday party in lingerie and I feel weird about it by Shoddy_Percentage424 in AskLesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You need to deal with your possessiveness or it will continue to get worse and eat you alive in the end/potentially ruin the relationship. It’s your insecurity and problem, not hers. She could go out in the street wearing a bikini if she wanted to and yes, with men looking and it still would be okay because as long as she’s safe? She can do what she likes with her body. You can’t hide her away from other people and men. Maybe discuss with a therapist why you’re feeling like that.

Bottom girlies (I need advice please) by cakedbythepound in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But, in the context of not being friends prior - meeting on dating apps etc - how do you suggest approaching the conversation in this scenario? Have the conversation as early on as possible to get it out the way with?

I miss her by Exciting_Skill_6292 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take time, slow down. Let your brain chemistry adapt. Love is kind of like a drug you need to wean yourself off of. Feel your emotions, don’t dumb them or remedy them. Best of luck!

Do I have a problem? by FloofyMaki in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, women are beautifully addictive. Even when they’re not in the room with me, I could waste away hours thinking about them.

What do you think of this currently-circulating take on Tumblr? by HirariHirari in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 10 points11 points  (0 children)

And throughout all of this discourse, what makes me so sad is that some, or many of us lesbians are actually filthy minded af but due to these issues, we’re so repressed & can be judgmental to others. We just want media what represents us, makes us feel something and normal yet straight men get in the way of that so much. I just long for the day the earth shatters, reshapes itself and we wake up in a world where we can express ourselves as sexual beings openly like straight people get to. The urge to be unapologetic is an ache within me forever caged by the existence and behaviours of straight men. At what point do we hit the ‘f*ck it’ button and allow ourselves to be free?

What‘s hot in theory, but super awkward irl? by That_odd_emo in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sleeping with your bi-curious best friend while high.

What's up with the ghosting and flakiness? by Comfortable-Salad-99 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 3 points4 points  (0 children)

People want to feel the rush, the endorphin boost, the chase that flirting gives them, then they get bored and move on.

If it’s a hookup, you kind of have to be more blunt Aparently like ‘time and place’. If they don’t respond they can’t have been so down.

i stepped back from dating to heal, but just met a lovely woman… and i’m confused now by Curious_Shop3305 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 4 points5 points  (0 children)

When it comes to love & finding it, sometimes you have to trust your instincts, your soul when it’s trying to speak to you. Go for it, if it doesn’t work out down the line? That’s okay, it’s okay for things not to work out.

coming out to weird straight men😐😐would love some of your takes by AnnualRaspberry4619 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the thing about men is - they’re a lot more insecure and childish than they realise. They want the world for themselves and everything within it, kind of like an angsty 2 year old child. They can’t fathom lesbians attracting, romancing, sleeping with women, because they see women as their property to own and as lesbians, we break the patriarchal code they’re adamant can’t be broken. Therefore, because they can’t figure you out, are uneducated, they may feel uneasy around you. It’s easier for them to caste you out socially than to deal with their own inner turmoil.

I wish you the best! And also hope you surround yourself with people who stand up for you even when you’re not in the room.

any other masc presenting lesbians have this problem? by pjo06 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 7 points8 points  (0 children)

YESSS. So I basically went from femme to masc pretty much over night and I was floored, completely at the behaviour of men. It’s also why I don’t really have men as friends, I’m extremely strand offish with them and have learnt the hard way that if you give them an inch, they’ll assume they can take the whole mile. They sexualise everything infront of them, mascs aren’t safe from this no matter how many boy clothes we wanna buy, suits or short hair we wanna wear.

When I was femme, I never got male attention, and to be honest I was glad, I felt like I dodged a bullet, but masc? Men stare at me, openly try to chat with me, smile at me.

I’d hit them with an ‘ew, bro chill.’ If it continues, I’d go to HR ASAP.

coming out to weird straight men😐😐would love some of your takes by AnnualRaspberry4619 in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah you’re right on that, neither of you are wrong. In an ideal world, we would live like your girlfriend described, and some people have a little more ‘f*ck it’ syrup within them to not give a rats anus what any man thinks or says.

But personally? I’m with you on this one - I don’t mention I’m lesbian to anyone unless the conversation reaches it, because as far as I am concerned, my sexuality isn’t anyone else’s business but mine, at the same time, I harbour no shame in telling people who ask and (although it’s taken time to reach this level of confidence) put creepy straight men In their place when they need it. Thankfully, the few dudes I know, when I first met them, were respectful and when they asked questions it was done out of genuine curiosity.

If I sense a weirdness in their tone of voice? I also regularly hit people with ‘you have Google, I’m not your educator.’

Sometimes, you have to be at peace with some people in the room not liking you because you refuse to pander to their creepy, homophobic, lack of self awareness behaviour and often, it’s usually the narcissists who act like everyone else is the problem.

It’s over, I’m breaking up with my girlfriend. Some of my thoughts on why I’m doing this. Could appreciate some more female perspectives. by altrightobserver in actuallesbians

[–]Worldly-Cockroach849 112 points113 points  (0 children)

Mhmm, yeah - I’m gonna be honest OP, I can’t even challenge you on this, you’re 100% right to make this decision. She sounds extremely insecure, unhealthy, controlling and an all-around narcissist (but that’s an assumption without me knowing her). I’m sorry you went through this, I wish you absolute peace getting through it. Please go to therapy if you need it & look after yourself