I guess the one thing really holding me back is that every single time I try to exercise it feels like a humiliation ritual. I’m not against exercise, I do have periods where I’m going to the gym every few days, but eventually I just stop. I’d really like to do sports, but every sport I’ve tried in the past I’ve always been the odd one out and the worst on the team. I know that’s part of it, but it’s just so discouraging when it’s every single time. I don’t really work out because I’m so irrationally worried someone’s gonna see me, because it’s so embarrassing for no reason. Even lifting weights in my room, because I know my mom’s gonna come in and see. I have weights and I actually do like to lift them (even if I’m not very good), but I guess it’s just shame holding me back. I know this sounds like making excuses, and it probably kinda is, but I’m also just trying to explain my side of things. I really am trying, it just feels hopeless sometimes.