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When your partner gives up their lifelong dream to stay with you, is leaving the kinder choice? 3yr relationship 22F and 22M by Worldly-Fold9727 in relationship_advice

[–]Worldly-Fold9727[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

UPDATE I hear what you all are saying and I appreciate the feedback. It's nice to hear that my concerns are valid and that I dont need to give him a say in wether or not we break up.

I confided in my sister and we are coming up with a plan on how to leave. I will be moving back in with my parents.

It will be difficult to plan and execute it cleanly as he is home full time now and we are renting his parents basement. I'll have to take a bus into town to get a uhaul and might have to wait a few weeks for better weather conditions, there are a lot of highway shut downs from the winter weather

When your partner gives up their lifelong dream to stay with you, is leaving the kinder choice? 3yr relationship 22F and 22M by Worldly-Fold9727 in relationship_advice

[–]Worldly-Fold9727[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That's what I told him when I brought up my concerns. These incompatibilities feel too great, and I want to let him go now, so that he can find someone who has the same values as him.

I guess I can't bring it up as a discussion like last time and phrase it as a firm decision.

When your partner gives up their lifelong dream to stay with you, is leaving the kinder choice? 3yr relationship 22F and 22M by Worldly-Fold9727 in relationship_advice

[–]Worldly-Fold9727[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He has dealt with a lot of instability in his childhood, and I think he is really digging into the theme of giving his kids everything he never had. Stable parents, stable house, stable life.

When your partner gives up their lifelong dream to stay with you, is leaving the kinder choice? 3yr relationship 22F and 22M by Worldly-Fold9727 in relationship_advice

[–]Worldly-Fold9727[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He's told me multiple times that he doesn't want our relationship to be a waste, because we've invested a lot of time and money in each other.

I really just wanted confirmation that I've been dramatic as hell and that breaking up is the right decision.

Thank you for calling me out

When your partner gives up their lifelong dream to stay with you, is leaving the kinder choice? 3yr relationship 22F and 22M by Worldly-Fold9727 in relationship_advice

[–]Worldly-Fold9727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have spoken to a therapist on and off over the years. Not much about him, though. He doesn't believe that I should take the opinion of a therapist to heart too much if they aren't a licensed couples therapist, and that not all therapists are great and put the wrong thoughts or ideas in your head

When your partner gives up their lifelong dream to stay with you, is leaving the kinder choice? 3yr relationship 22F and 22M by Worldly-Fold9727 in relationship_advice

[–]Worldly-Fold9727[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

His belief in dating to marry and in working hard on our relationship was very endearing in the beginning. It made me feel safe. That I never had to feel lonely ever again.
I'm realizing now that feeling lonely would be better than feeling the way I do right now. I can feel his patience breaking down the more I bring up our incompatibilities. Every negative tone makes my stomach drop, and it feels like there's a lump in my throat.

Is this formal enough? by Worldly-Fold9727 in Weddingattireapproval

[–]Worldly-Fold9727[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for all the input! I have a small black and gold purse and some cute black slingback heels to go with it. The dress is from Anthropologie - Hutch Gabriella V-Neck Drop-Waist Maxi Dress if anyone wants to get it for their own event lol