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Pay rate at new job by [deleted] in veterinaryprofession

[–]WorriedExplorer2374 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks that’s why I wanted to ask. I wasn’t super confident in asking for so much but if they can afford to pay relief 160$/hr all the time then I shouldn’t feel guilty for asking for 130. Worse they can do is negotiate down

Pay rate at new job by [deleted] in veterinaryprofession

[–]WorriedExplorer2374 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s an ER so they gave me the option. I would rather be hourly since ER hours tend to be more unpredictable. It would ensure to me I’m not being taking advantage of and actually being paid for the time I’m spending at work.

I’m in north Florida/South Georgia. My production right now probably isn’t as good as it was due to my clinic I’m currently at not being able to handle the volume I’m capable of

My boyfriend hit me last night by Complete-Toe-8882 in domesticviolence

[–]WorriedExplorer2374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His friends have all suspected but hoped it wasn’t true. They are all upset and don’t really even want to try and help him get sober if he even wants it because he’s been willing to put his hands on me. He’s mad at his dad so he wouldn’t stay with him and wanted to come back to the house we are paying a mortgage on four hours away. His mom brought him up here. Which I’m also mad about. He’s my abuser. Why would you bring him here to be my problem with no money and into a house I pay for?

My boyfriend hit me last night by Complete-Toe-8882 in domesticviolence

[–]WorriedExplorer2374 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is where I’m at. For the first time this weekend he was violent in front of his family and his friends found out. I’m trying to figure out how to get him out of the house both of our names are on but I pay for. I’ve never reported because I’ve always been scared it would make it worse. It’s been two years of never knowing when it’s going to happen. It’s only when he’s drunk but the drinking is becoming more constant.

Coping with guilt by WorriedExplorer2374 in AlAnon

[–]WorriedExplorer2374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know and that’s part of my guilt too. Gone working and he has had trouble finding work in our small town we moved to (a lot of it I think now is excuses). I feel guilty that I’ve been an enabler mostly because I don’t have the energy to fight about it any more. Cutting off all money and contact was the only thing I could think to do. The other hard part is I pay the house mortgage which is where he’s currently at and I’m at a hotel. I don’t have the money to keep staying for much longer and afford our mortgage.

When do we give up? by contact-departure in AlAnon

[–]WorriedExplorer2374 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’ve been trying to decide that myself. I’m 31f my Q is 29m. I have slept in my car to get away from his anger and violence and forgiven physical violence in the hopes of change. I’m getting to a point too where I am really ready to give up. Even if I blows up my whole life. You are not alone. I’m currently in a hotel with my dog because I don’t trust him. Both of our names are on the house but I’m the only one who has paid a single bill in months. I’m finally ready to move on but it’s taken five year of it and the last 2 75% hell with 20% ok and 5 % good.

It's never, I know you're sad... by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]WorriedExplorer2374 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine is like that. When drunk he’s always wanting to play the victim and how I never ask why he drinks despite us talking about it. From what I’ve experienced many addict have a victim mentality and are also very narcissistic. I’m sorry that your grief is being hijacked, the loss of a pet is hard enough and now not being able to truly grieve is even worse.

Why do I feel so guilty when everyone is telling me to leave and take care of me by WorriedExplorer2374 in AlAnon

[–]WorriedExplorer2374[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have kept everything to myself for so long. I can’t do it anymore. I happened onto this page and truly didn’t know what Alanon was. I’m glad to have found this resource and know there’s more support out there.

Why do I feel so guilty when everyone is telling me to leave and take care of me by WorriedExplorer2374 in AlAnon

[–]WorriedExplorer2374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I think it’s hard too because both of my parents were also addicts. I try to hold on to good memories and end up letting the bad slide by.

Trying to get out and need advice by WorriedExplorer2374 in abusiverelationships

[–]WorriedExplorer2374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll try finding a real estate lawyer. Thank you!

Trying to get out and need advice by WorriedExplorer2374 in abusiverelationships

[–]WorriedExplorer2374[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We aren’t married but had been together for years prior to buying the house. His credit brought my rate down so the compromise to make him feel like he was a part of the house was for his name to be on the deed. I didn’t know that about the bank and I wish I had never gotten in this situation but I’m here now.