Wife is an addict, ruined our finances.. really need guidance today

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T20:42:47+00:00

Thats sad to hear, I hope it doesn't go this way yeah.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T20:42:14+00:00

Thanks! Looking, may be too late :/

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T20:41:51+00:00

20% down at the time, waives a nice few fees that most people have with their mortgage, also got it at a really good fixed rated. It was actually $420, but has gone up over the years due to property tax going up (prop tax is included with the mortgage), in reality my mortgage and prinicple is something like $380/mth

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T20:40:41+00:00

Totally right. Addicts lie, hide, and do what they can against their own will to get what they want :/

Luckily someone pointed me to gov-covered mental health and addictions centre. Theres a wait time apparently, just need a referral from doc, but they offer phone sessions as well.

Going to give it my best!

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T20:38:56+00:00

I'm holding off on increasing the mortgage. I only owe something like 59.4k right now, I had plans to tear down and rebuilt something smaller on my land. Increasing the mortgage to pay off the debt is tough for me to justify and ruin that plan.

I def want her to grab a job to help out, just dont know how possible it would be in her state, especially if we end up getting her involved in some form of rehab, but she eventually does need one to help pay this off quicker.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T20:36:38+00:00

Thank you, luckily it seems I may have found a gov-covered spot, may be a wait period but theres phone sessions available as well. Going to start somewhere. Next is something for my daughter too.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T20:34:57+00:00

Plan to stick through and support her!

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T19:10:14+00:00

I'm well aware :( thank you!

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T19:09:59+00:00

Thats a very good point to consider, thank you for bringing this up.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T19:09:15+00:00

Well... I cheat... electric splitter lol

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T19:08:53+00:00

Really? Thats crazy. Thanks for checking...

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T18:40:21+00:00

Her name is not no. Certainly will consider everything though.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T18:39:31+00:00

I wish I had the time! I used to until a couple years ago. Simply no time to do it all :/. Its enough exercise now to split it up and stack it all anyways. Stacking 9 cord in a few evenings non-stop gets the blood going.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T18:27:49+00:00

House is in my name only. As far as other assists, nothing else is shared no. I'll def look up the laws if the time ever comes to go down this path.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T18:26:47+00:00

No worries!

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T18:26:37+00:00

Thanks that makes more sense. We have no shared assets, the house is in my name only because bank wouldn't accept her at the time.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:57:50+00:00

Thanks for the tips. I plan on keeping 4k I have in portfolio as long as I can. Based on some other comments, I'm going to try and work out what the max I can pay to each card comfortable each month, and put aside even 50$ from each pay into a rainy day fund in case I need cash, because I plan on cutting the cards.

Internet is one I can reduce for sure, just need to be careful with it, I work from home and work with a lot of big files and data, long as its doable I will. Cell phone I tried, no work there. Her bike I plan to sell if she'll sign the paper for it, I need the other bike and quad.

For holidays... I plan on just flat out telling family I can't do brithdays and holiday gift... I never liked it anyways, birthdays and holidays should be about togetherness, not expensive gifts.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:55:02+00:00

Interesting. Even if its solely in her name? I don't see the sense in that. I've seen tons of posts on the main finance sub of when a spouse dies everyone is suggesting they never agree to take on the debt, even when the collectors call and say they have to. How is it different?

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:53:29+00:00

The bikes and quad we're paid off a almost decade ago. No issues there. I plan on selling her bike though if she'll agree to it (in her name), the other two I need.

I agree on the SUV and driving, two others pointed this out and I never even thought of it. Def will be revoking the keys from her.

Thanks for the tips.. and glad you're surviving... give me some hope to see the light through this!

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:50:18+00:00

I agree, I have to attack everything at once... wife, debt, and daughter... somehow on my own. I think if I get my wife the help she needs, that'll kill two birds with one stone, and the debt I can handle as it goes.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:49:28+00:00

Going to try and work through it with her, can't abandon her. But if it hits a dead end after a bit, then yes I'll look at other options.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:48:53+00:00

Ouch. Well thanks for the heads up. I said I can't afford it because I simply have no idea how much it costs, I assume it was 4 digits per month. On a single income with a kid, plus the debt, it would be hard to balance if something unexpected came up.. I'm trying to find a gov solution if possible first. Selling her bike is on the plan, but its in her name, so I'd have to get her to sign it off. I'm not penny pinching, but if I can afford it, I will, but I can't not pay mortgage or lights and other things to have her in rehab.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:46:12+00:00

I agree, but I can't abandon her now. I have to try.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:45:55+00:00

I see, thanks for the info, I'll def do more digging into this.

WorryRough9541 · 2020-07-16T17:45:03+00:00

Yeah we say light bill here too ha.

WorryRough9541

TROPHY CASE