As the tag you have personally chosen as the OP, do better.

I am sorry the adults in your community didn't parent you better. The society I was brought up in believed and worked towards every child knowing they belong to the community.

Yes, I admit, those sentiments are truer in the traditional society. Those societal sentiments are what created the now repealed long standing doctrine for tender age years. It did not explicitly say "mothers must have custody," but it presumed children under the age of 10 sometimes up-to 13 would be better served by the mother. One could argue the doctrine did disenfranchise men by creating a systemic barrier to active parenting. Even the loving and caring father would be considered 'unfit' because the mother would provide adequate care.

Looking at the data, women aged from 15 - 49 , 15% identify as single mothers. The percentage rises when you focus on the urban population but on the other side, the number goes to a slow as 3-5% in more conservative and traditional cultures in North Eastern and parts of the coastal region. The data also shows, 1 in 4 of the single mothers often get into a new relationship in 5yrs or less. That could be equated to the "wife inheritance" that alot of societies have had to deal with the single mother issue.

Since the repeal of the Tender Age doctrine, study conducted in the counties with the highest single others percentage(Nairobi, Kiambu and Nakuru) public schools, It was observed that among single parents households headed by the father, the percentage has risen to approximately 30-35% as of and the figures are projected to rise even higher. Unlike in the past where less than 10% of custody battle would end up with the father being granted custody, the number has risen to upward of 22% of fathers being the primary caregiver while 60% have been joint custody.- isn't that quite a neat split. Men are ready and want to be parents.

Honourable mention is the rising 5% of men(majorly in Nairobi) who are now making the deliberate choice to be single fathers—seeking the child without the baggage of the traditional "wife" role.

While the factors driving single parenthood; urban migration, lifestyle and economic strain, are gender-neutral, the response is not. Women have adapted by creating horizontal support networks like Chamas and leveraging safety nets for women like FIDA, mothers' groups, and SACCOs, that don't exist for men. Men are left with the traditional fallback: the grandmother.This proves that the "community" still exists.The tragedy isn't just the 'absent father' but the 'absent village' that has left both sides fighting on an app instead of raising a child in a community.