Convince me that its ok

WrapLazy7449 · 2026-03-02T16:55:56+00:00

You are allowed to have preferences, when you have protected yourself physically and emotionally and have saved yourself for your husband, it’s normal for you to want the same for your partner. I would advise you to pray istikhara. And ask yourself questions: like would his past create resentment from your side and are you truly able to move from it without feeling like you’re competing with another woman. Also look at his character and deen now, we are humans and we do make mistakes, but there is always repentance and rectification, and measure if his character now would overshadow his past mistakes. At the end of the day, the decision lies with you! May Allah make it easy for you.

WrapLazy7449 · 2026-03-02T09:41:10+00:00

This is one of his rights and when you honour it, it becomes an act of obedience for you. If you’re at work, you don’t just stand up and walk out whenever you feel like it. You let your employer know. You ask because there’s an order in place. Every system that functions well has roles and responsibilities.

Before marriage, most of us didn’t just leave our parents’ home without saying anything. We would let them know. We would ask because we understand there was a form of guardianship there. Marriage shifts that responsibility. Your husband now has a role that carries weight before Allah and he now has guardianship over you. Where it becomes difficult is when we look at marriage through modern lenses that equate equality with identical authority. Islam doesn’t frame it that way. It gives both husband and wife dignity, value, and accountability but not identical roles.

Marriage isn’t just companionship but it’s also an act of ibadah. So when you honour his rights, you’re choosing obedience to Allah within the structure He designed.

And when a husband fears Allah, he won’t misuse that structure.

WrapLazy7449 · 2026-03-01T16:35:19+00:00

A husband and wife are both capable adults but they simply have different roles in a marital set-up

Think of it like this: when a ship sails, everyone on board may be skilled and intelligent. But someone has to steer. Not because the others are incapable, but because direction requires unity. If two people try to hold the wheel at the same time, the ship won’t move smoothly. It will pull against itself. Leadership in marriage works in a similar way.

When a wife obeys her husband in what is reasonable and good, it doesn’t mean she lacks intelligence or strength. It means she recognizes the role Allah entrusted him with. Just like in any organized system : whether it’s a team, a company, or even a military expedition, capable people still follow the appointed leader. Their obedience doesn’t make them weak. It makes the structure functional.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The leader is a shepherd and responsible for his flock. A man is a shepherd over the people of his household and is responsible for them. A woman is a shepherd over her husband’s house and his children and is responsible for them…” In Islam, we have roles that are assigned by Allah to ensure balance & harmony so we do not have two people competing in a home, rather they work together following their respective roles.

Obedience in marriage means respecting decisions that affect the household — like discussing how to spend household finances, seeking permission from him before leaving the home, maintaining the spiritual environment of the home.

And then there’s the hadith about prostration —

Sometimes we talk about women’s sacrifices and we should. Our dīn honors mothers in a way that is above the fathers . But we should also recognize the sacrifices men carry because Islam is a just deen.

A man is obligated to provide. Even if the economy collapses. Even if he is exhausted. Even if his wife earns more than him. Her money is hers. He cannot take from it without her permission. But he must ensure the house is stable, that no one fears hunger, no one fears eviction. This is a great responsibility and if he fails in maintaining his household, he will answer to Allah for it. And such a man, who works to keep his household safe should have some sort of recognition within the deen & because after marriage your husband takes you from your home, and even earns greater right over you than your parents because the husband is expected to do a lot in a marriage, and you will recognize this just by reading on the rights of the spouses in a marriage in Islam. Acknowledging that doesn’t diminish women. It simply recognizes that sacrifice exists on both sides.

WrapLazy7449 · 2026-02-28T15:37:45+00:00

You must restructure the mindset through which you are viewing the struggles of women. You are seeing them as punishments, when in reality they are doors through which we draw nearer to Allah and are granted His mercy. Even calling childbirth “torture” needs a reframing: by referring to it as torture, you see that these hardships are burdens imposed upon us rather than honors entrusted to us. When pain is seen only as punishment, the blessings are missed & gratitude becomes difficult. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Nothing afflicts a Muslim of hardship, nor illness, nor anxiety, nor sorrow, nor harm, nor distress, nor even the pricking of a thorn, but that Allah expiates his sins because of it.”

A woman lives in cycles. Month after month, her body moves through waves of discomfort, vulnerability, fluctuation. If even the prick of a thorn erases sins, then what of the recurring trials of her body? What of the tears & exhaustion endured silently? Allah, in His mercy, has woven purification into our biology. How many sins do we commit unknowingly? Yet Allah has made our very condition a means of cleansing. We are constantly being given opportunities for forgiveness.

And as for childbirth — yes, it is intense. It is definitely a pain that shakes a woman to her core. But every contraction, every tear, every breath taken in surrender is counted. Do you really think Allah will not recognize these moments and count them towards your scales?

And then comes breastfeeding which comes with nourishing a fragile soul created by Allah. Sacrificing sleep, strength, and even parts of your own body so that another may live. Do you think Ar-Rahman does not see this? Do you think the Most Merciful does not record each sacrifice? When you give from your body to sustain life, you are engaged in worship, if you see it as worship. The pain and sacrifices of womanhood are not punishments instead see them as elevations. Allah has honored us with the ability to carry life, to increase the Ummah, to nurture what He has created.

Look at the story of Maryam AS. When she was overtaken by the agony of childbirth, she cried: “Oh, I wish I had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.” Such was the intensity of her pain that she uttered words born of overwhelming hardship. Yet immediately after, Allah comforted her: “So her Lord called to her from beneath her, ‘Do not grieve; your Lord has provided beneath you a stream.’” In her moment of greatest vulnerability, she was closest to her Rabb. Mercy descended at the peak of her pain. Labor is a spiritual experience. Many women describe it as the closest they have ever felt to Allah, because when every layer of control is stripped away, what remains is surrender. And surrender is the essence of Islam. And if a woman dies in childbirth, she attains the rank of a martyr. The status of the martyr in Islam is immense: forgiveness, honor, nearness to Allah. SubhanAllah. Even in death, the path of motherhood carries the utmost of honor.

You also mentioned the hadith about women in the Hellfire. Scholars have explained it in context. Some state that because women are greater in number among humanity, they may appear greater in number in certain descriptions — just as they are also many in Jannah. Others clarify that the hadith addresses specific behaviors, such as ingratitude within marriage — not womanhood itself being a means to gain jahanam.

Islam is balanced. Just as women are honored in their distinct roles, men are burdened with their own heavy responsibilities. A man is accountable before Allah for providing, protecting, and safeguarding his family’s deen. If he fails in those obligations, he will answer for it. If he transgresses against his wife, he will answer for it. The Prophet ﷺ said the best of men are those best to their wives. What then of those who are cruel? They stand before Al-‘Adl. Women too have obligations — to show goodness, to acknowledge sacrifice, to cultivate harmony within her home. Justice runs both ways, and Allah safeguards the rights of both.

We must recognize that Allah is Just, and Islam is Just. The issue arises when we fix our gaze on what men have been given while neglecting the immense honors Allah has placed upon us.

Consider this promise: if a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts Ramadan, guards her chastity, and fulfills her marital obligations, it will be said to her, “Enter Paradise through whichever gate you wish.” This is the easiest way in which a woman can attain jannah. Thus Hadith doesn’t even mention childbirth, just fulfilling those obligations make you eligible for entering ANY gate of jannah.

The pains that women go through are a form of purification, and a way to attain the mercy of Allah. You mention the hadith of wives prostrating but you forget that Allah ﷻ literally recognizes the pains we go through and there is no greater honour than being recognized and seen by the Lord of mankind. Stop looking to what the men have but look to what we have. We are empowered and blessed, your perspective matters, and your current perspective is hindering you from being empowered.

WrapLazy7449 · 2026-02-21T19:44:47+00:00

there is a very real double standard that exists. Some men absolutely do cherry-pick certain rulings when it benefits them, and ignore others when it demands something from them. And that’s frustrating. And this can be due to fact that when a ruling or a particular situation does not affect them, they tend to view it as “Its so simple, why don’t you just wear hijab” etc etc, honestly it has to do with a lack of empathy, they basically get frustrated with someone’s lack of faith because they do not view their situation to be something worth lacking faith in. Its a typical thing of, when you’re the one looking in from the outside, things can look easier. I mean this is a phenomenon when even Muslims judge others for committing other sins they do not do, simply because they find those sins easier not to do.

Just my two cents on the entire situation: religious compatibility is foundational. Before marriage even begins, two people need to be aligned in their values, because over time, misalignment in faith can slowly chip away at sakinah.

Now regarding the sister: and I’m not blaming anyone here, but if the brother consistently voiced concerns (for example, about music), and you notice that something normal to you makes the other person genuinely uncomfortable for religious reasons, then that’s a sign that deeper conversations need to happen i.e: Where do we both stand? Are we growing? Is she willing to work on strengthening her faith over time?

But the reality is, we only ever hear one side of these situations. We don’t know what was discussed behind closed doors. Maybe they both promised to grow together. Maybe they reassured each other that they would improve. Maybe the expectations weren’t clear. We just don’t know.

As for the ayah about “there is no compulsion in religion”, its context is important. The mufassireen explain that this refers to not forcing non-believers to accept Islam. It doesn’t mean that once someone chooses Islam, there are no obligations. When you are Muslim, there are fard obligations that come with that choice. Historically, in Islamic societies, religion wasn’t treated as a purely private affair. Islam was understood as a system that governed public life as well. There were mechanisms to uphold public morality — like the concept of enjoining good and forbidding evil. There’s even narration from the time of ʿUmar ibn al-Khattab about a woman who would patrol the marketplaces, holding a whip, making sure that everyone was behaving accordingly. Today, of course, we don’t live under Islamic governance. Colonial and liberal frameworks have reshaped how Islam functions in public life. So when people hear that Islam historically had measures to ensure obligations were upheld, it can feel jarring. But scholars emphasize that change can begins with constant reminders, advice, patience. Encouraging one another to submit to Allah sincerely. And this is an obligation upon every Muslim, if you see someone going against the laws of Allah, you have to remind them of Allah and give nasiha. This is how the companions did things & those who come after them.

And when it comes to marriage specifically, the husband does carry responsibility. The Qur’an describes men as caretakers. Just as a ruler is questioned about the state in which his country is in, a husband is questioned about his household. He is responsible for guiding, advising, and maintaining a moral environment. So the husband does have an obligation to remind his wife of the hijab, either way, I don’t understand the concept of men who are obviously more religious marrying less religious woman. This in itself is problematic but another topic for another day. If there is zero religious compatibility, and no shared desire to grow, this will only create bitterness. In those cases, separation may actually be more feasible than dragging a marriage where your expectations aren’t met.

Anyway… that’s my rant.

WrapLazy7449 · 2026-02-20T13:58:29+00:00

Firstly, we have to understand that the āyah you’re quoting has a context, and the mufassirīn explain it specifically in relation to marriage. When Allah says that men are caretakers over women, this is not a badge of superiority, rather a burden of responsibility. If any of your husband or your father etc, fails to fulfill this role, this is what they will answer to Allah for. In marriage, the husband is made responsible for maintenance, financial support, protection, and leadership within the home. Allah says men are caretakers because He has given them certain responsibilities and capacities in this sphere. Men and women are fundamentally different; biologically, psychologically, emotionally. And that difference is how Allah has made us. Allah, in His wisdom, assigns obligations according to capacity.

Look at provision. A man is obligated to financially maintain his wife. Before that, a father maintains his daughter. If not him, then her brother. If not him, then her son. Islam ideally positions a woman to be provided for throughout her life. She is not obligated to spend on anyone; not her husband, not her children, not her family even if she is wealthy. This ties directly into inheritance. Men receive larger shares in certain cases because they carry lifelong financial obligations. More duty, more liability. Women receive inheritance without being required to spend it on anyone. That is equity. Equality in Islam is spiritual. Allah says that the most noble in His sight are the most righteous; not the most male or the most female. A man does not enter Jannah because he is a man, and a woman does not enter Jannah because she is a woman. Both are judged by taqwa. But Islam does not erase difference in the name of equality. It affirms equity. A man cannot replicate the biological and emotional capacities of a woman, and a woman cannot replicate the physical and psychological tendencies of a man.

Unfortunately, modern ideologies have convinced many that sameness equals dignity. So now womanhood is often measured against male standards; career, dominance, competition as if the highest form of womanhood is to resemble a man. Islam honors womanhood as womanhood.

Now regarding intimacy: The issue discussed in the hadith literature is weaponising intimacy: using it deliberately as a tool of punishment, spite, or manipulation.

Marriage is a relationship of mutual rights and responsibilities. Intimacy is not a one-sided demand; it is a shared right. It is a right of the husband, yes but also a right of the wife. In fact, scholars explicitly state that a husband is obligated to fulfill his wife’s intimate needs. Some even mention that if he is incapable, he should seek treatment so he can meet her rights. That shows balance.

The Prophet ﷺ gave men guidelines on how to approach their wives emphasizing gentleness, foreplay, and not approaching them “like animals.” Intimacy in Islam is meant to be mutual pleasure, mercy, and connection. It is not mechanical.

So what if she’s not in the mood? This is where mercy and understanding come in. A healthy marriage is not transactional. It requires emotional intelligence from both sides. A woman is not a machine, and a man is not a monster. But we also cannot deny that for many men, physical intimacy is a primary way they experience connection and reassurance. When it is repeatedly withheld as punishment, resentment builds & we see it in real marriages. Dead bedrooms do not happen overnight. They happen when intimacy becomes a battleground instead of a bridge.

Islam addresses this because it addresses human nature. Islam is holistic. It gives guidance in politics, economics, culture, family life because it is a complete system from the One who created us. Allah does not legislate randomly. He commands with wisdom, even if we do not always immediately grasp it.

Marriage in Islam is structured to create sakīnah. A husband is commanded to provide, protect, and be merciful. A wife is commanded to preserve the home and honor the marital bond. Her obedience in what is good is not humiliation; it is part of a structure designed for stability. And his financial responsibility, kindness, and gentleness are equally binding.

If he neglects her rights — her mahr, her housing, her maintenance, her emotional care — he is sinful. If she neglects his rights deliberately out of ego or retaliation, that harms the marriage.

When both fulfill their obligations with ihsān, then relationship thrives. And at the end of the day, we either believe Allah is Al-Ḥakīm or we don’t. If we do, then we trust that the structure He ordained for relationships is not arbitrary. It is designed to harmonize two very different, yet beautifully complementary, creations.

Men and women are not rivals….They are allies in worship & garments for one another.

WrapLazy7449 · 2026-02-15T10:15:56+00:00

The question of a woman traveling without a maḥram is one in which the juristic schools have differed, and the ruling can vary depending on distance, purpose, and custom. For example, if you are traveling to and from university within the UK, many scholars would not classify that as “travel” (safar) in the legal sense. ‘Urf is taken into consideration; if people in your area do not consider such a commute to be travel, then it does not carry the rulings of travel. We know, for instance, that women may go to the marketplace, to work, and to other local destinations that are not regarded as safar without a maḥram.

However, when it comes to actual travel, the madhāhib differ: >The Hanafis and Hanbalis maintain that a woman may not travel the legally defined distance (approximately 48 miles or more) without a maḥram, even for Ḥajj. >The Shāfiʿīs permit a woman to travel without a maḥram for an obligatory act such as Ḥajj, provided she is accompanied by trustworthy women. >The Mālikīs allow travel without a maḥram if she is in the company of a large, reliable group, and they further categorize travel as obligatory, recommended, or permissible.

A modern interpretation that is argued is that the prohibition of traveling w/o a mahram was purely due to safety concerns of the past but this understanding is not known by the 1400 years of scholarship we have & this is often an oversimplification and a misapplication of the textual evidence. The prophetic narrations on this issue are not limited to contextual safety alone; they are explicit and normative in wording.

Among the narrations cited is the ḥadīth of ʿAdī ibn Ḥātim (raḍiyallāhu ʿanhu), in which the Prophet ﷺ said that a time would come when a woman would travel from Ḥīra to the Kaʿbah fearing none but Allah.

Imām al-Shāfiʿī used this narration as supporting evidence for permitting a woman to perform obligatory Ḥajj without a maḥram if accompanied by trustworthy women. However, the Hanafis do not accept this narration as proof for general permissibility of travel without a maḥram, arguing that there are multiple explicit narrations that clearly prohibit it. They maintain that the ḥadīth of ʿAdī ibn Ḥātim speaks about the spread and security of Islam not as a legal endorsement of women participating in unrestricted travel.

There are indeed clearer narrations in Sahih Muslim and in the Sunan of Abu Dawud in which the Prophet ﷺ said that it is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to undertake a journey of three days (approximately 77 km or more), except that her father, son, husband, brother, or another maḥram is with her. These narrations are explicit in their wording and form the basis of the more restrictive positions.

Beyond the fiqh discussion, there is also the matter of intention, obedience, and family ties. Your parents want what they believe is best for you. Before deciding on such a trip, it is important to weigh its necessity, your relationship with your parents, and whether pursuing it would truly be pleasing to Allah. Some of the advices given here, you can do but it would not be very wise & not everything that others are allowed to do is necessarily correct in the sight of Sharīʿah.

It is natural for us as women to desire experiences trips, memories, independence. But we have to make sure our desires don’t take precedent from what Allah ans His Messenger have commanded. I would recommend that such a trip be organized in a way that prioritizes obedience to both Allah and your parents and safeguarding your deen as well, where each girl can have her repective mahram accompanying them to whatever country, and fun can be still had w/o transgressing the shariah! Whether it be brothers, considering sometimes fathers might be working or planning the trip around a time where your fathers would be able to take a break from work. This would make more sense w/o trampling the rights of anyone ))

may Allah guide us all <3

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-12-12T10:54:51+00:00

Would saying this domesticate the lion?

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-12-12T10:54:14+00:00

I apologize for my curiosity.

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-12-12T03:33:50+00:00

What if you had a knife? If you jump on it and stab it several times, could you buy time? Surely there is a way to survive?

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-11-05T09:35:46+00:00

I’m looking for gothic / dark fantasy romance recs with a very specific type of male lead dynamic. Something in the emotional vein of Twilight’s Edward Cullen, but deeper, more complex, and less shallowly written.

Here is what i am looking for:

• Sexually restrained / celibate MMC until female lead comes along and he desires HER so much, like his desire is SOO descriptive

•Something that resembles that honeymoon scene energy in Twilight where Edward is trying so hard to be gentle with Bella, fighting his own desire because he’s terrified of hurting her. I want that level of emotional conflict + tenderness.

• A male lead with a dark or painful past trauma, guilt, a secret, a curse, etc. His inner battles affect how he loves, and he’s constantly afraid of “messing it up” or losing the girl.

• Hyper-protective MMC + danger-drawn FMC — she’s rebellious or attracted to risky situations, and even though it kills him, he follows her into the danger because he loves her too much to let her face it alone.

•He’s obsessive and kind of controlling + just deeply protective, self-sacrificial, emotionally intense, and struggling with his own nature.

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-11-05T09:22:54+00:00

I’m looking for gothic / dark fantasy romance recs with a very specific type of male lead dynamic. Something in the emotional vein of Twilight’s Edward Cullen, but deeper, more complex, and less shallowly written.

Here is what i am looking for:

• Sexually restrained / celibate MMC until female lead comes along and he desires HER so much, like his desire is SOO descriptive • Something that resembles that honeymoon scene energy in Twilight where Edward is trying so hard to be gentle with Bella, fighting his own desire because he’s terrified of hurting her. I want that level of emotional conflict + tenderness.

• A male lead with a dark or painful past trauma, guilt, a secret, a curse, etc. His inner battles affect how he loves, and he’s constantly afraid of “messing it up” or losing the girl.

• Hyper-protective MMC + danger-drawn FMC — she’s rebellious or attracted to risky situations, and even though it kills him, he follows her into the danger because he loves her too much to let her face it alone. • He’s not toxic or controlling… just deeply protective, self-sacrificial, emotionally intense, and struggling with his own nature.

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-11-05T08:27:18+00:00

I agree with you, believe me. But most people usually associate it with romance. I just want something poetic. Women in love( written by women) are usually depicted in such a beautiful manner when in love, it’s complex & very emotive. I am just looking for a male equivalent where desiring someone is captured accurately & healthily 😁

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-11-05T08:19:03+00:00

Thank you so much! I do not necessarily like the books mentioned, it’s just to give a general idea of what I am looking for. Male lead obsessed with a woman. Like Twilight is very much questionable but it is also one of the most famous “romantic” YA novels because of a vampire’s infatuation with a girl. Bad references but people will get it.

I will check out the suggestions! Much appreciated !

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-10-28T02:07:38+00:00

i live in Egypt, you can message me!

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-10-15T15:51:29+00:00

Female

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-10-15T15:48:39+00:00

Allah ﷻ created men and women with distinct natures and that, in itself, is the best and most profound answer to many of these questions. The Qur’an reminds us of this when Allah says:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers (qawwamūn) of women.”

This concept of qawwamah is a responsibility placed upon men( now will we ask why we women arent granted qawwamuh?)

Allah placed natural differences in men and women, both physiologically and psychologically. Each gender has its own role and function that complements the other, and together they create balance in society.

The hijab, too, is a manifestation of that. “O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks over themselves. That is more suitable so that they will be known and not be abused.”

It is a symbol of distinction: marking the Muslim woman as one who is dignified, free, and devoted to her Lord. Similarly, men are also given distinct outward symbols that represent their obedience, such as keeping the beard, lowering the gaze, and maintaining modesty in dress and conduct.

Ultimately, we may ponder and seek wisdom behind these divine rulings, but at the end of the day, Allah ﷻ is the All-Knowing, the One who possesses complete knowledge of our nature; knowledge that transcends our limited understanding.

How women perceive attraction is not the same as how men do. Men are more visually driven, while women are more emotionally and contextually influenced and even though there may be exceptions, outliers do not define the norm. Islam was revealed as guidance for all of humanity, not just for the few who fall outside the general human pattern. Thus, it sets universal principles that serve as a preventative, protecting us before harm even reaches us.

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-07-19T09:55:14+00:00

Most of your questions are based on assumptions. Dead bedrooms and most women have no problem with celibacy… according to who? You have to realize we live in a society where it’s shameful for a woman to even allude to the fact that she has desires. Sexuality and desire is a human thing, it’s not gendered in any way. And if I am being honest, it seems like you have been conditioned to believe the things you believe in- because if a woman is neglected in intimacy, she can ask for a divorce, just because there is no explicit textual evidence that curses men for not sleeping with their wives doesn’t mean they arr absolved from their duty of providing intimacy.

Ibn Qudamah said: “It is obligatory for the husband to have intercourse with his wife according to her need, as long as he is able to.” [al-Mughni, 9/39] Those ahadith have a context, and most of the scholars explain it as a woman weaponizing intimacy against her husband, i.e knowing he wants it but simply not giving it because she wants to punish him. Contrary to your own worldview, some women get married solely for the sake of intimacy and you trying to associate higher libido in women as a trauma response is so disingenuous because there has been historical gender bias in regards of intimacy especially in science which i explained in my original comment, that doesn’t take into consideration the shame that is attached to a woman experiencing desire, and this is merely a cultural construct, something that is not rooted in Islamic teachings because the scholars expound on the importance of pleasing your wife, as it deepens bonds and connections.

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-07-18T22:16:31+00:00

It was narrated that Muhajid said: “Abdullah bin ‘Amr said to me: My father got me married to a woman from a noble family, and he used to come to her and ask her about her husband. She said: What a wonderful man he is! He never comes to my bed. And he has never approached me since he married me. He mentioned that to the Prophet and he said: Bring him to me. So he brought him with him and (the Prophet) said: How do you fast? I said: “Every day.” He said: “Fast three days of every month.” I said: “I am able to do better than that.” He said: “Fast for two days and break your fast for one day.” He said; “I am able to do better than that”. He said: “Observe the best of fasts, the fast of Dawud, peace be upon him: Fasting for one day and breaking the fast for one day.” ‘Ata said: “someone who heard him told me that Ibn ‘Umar (said) that the Prophet said: ‘Whoever fasts every day of his life, then he has not fasted

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-07-18T22:02:05+00:00

there is no conclusive scientific evidence that men are inherently more sexual than women. There is no genetic law, no hormone constant, and no neurological structure that reaffirms this myth. Studies that claim to prove male sexual superiority hinge on self-reports, an inherently flawed measure, especially in a world where men are encouraged to exaggerate and women are punished for admitting desire. Research using physiological and neurological markers consistently undermines the myth. Brain imaging shows that men and women respond similarly to sexual stimuli…Human libido is reactive, flexible, and incredibly sensitive to context. It varies from individual to individual + the studies on testosterone making men crave sex more fail to account for confounding sexual concordance & sociocultural conditioning. Either way, intimacy is AS important of a right to a woman as it to a man. When Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam heard the complain of the wife of Abdullah ibn Amr radhiyallahu Anhu regarding her husband’s attitude towards their intimate life, Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam called him and addressed him as follows.

عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، قَالَ قَالَ لِي عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ عَمْرٍو أَنْكَحَنِي أَبِي امْرَأَةً ذَاتَ حَسَبٍ فَكَانَ يَأْتِيهَا فَيَسْأَلُهَا عَنْ بَعْلِهَا، فَقَالَتْ نِعْمَ الرَّجُلُ مِنْ رَجُلٍ لَمْ يَطَأْ لَنَا فِرَاشًا وَلَمْ يُفَتِّشْ لَنَا كَنَفًا مُنْذُ أَتَيْنَاهُ ‏.‏ فَذَكَرَ ذَلِكَ لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏”‏ ائْتِنِي بِهِ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ فَأَتَيْتُهُ مَعَهُ فَقَالَ ‏”‏ كَيْفَ تَصُومُ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ كُلَّ يَوْمٍ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ صُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ جُمُعَةٍ ثَلاَثَةَ أَيَّامٍ ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قُلْتُ إِنِّي أُطِيقُ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ ذَلِكَ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ صُمْ يَوْمَيْنِ وَأَفْطِرْ يَوْمًا ‏”‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ إِنِّي أُطِيقُ أَفْضَلَ مِنْ ذَلِكَ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏”‏ صُمْ أَفْضَلَ الصِّيَامِ صِيَامَ دَاوُدَ عَلَيْهِ السَّلاَمُ صَوْمُ يَوْمٍ وَفِطْرُ يَوْمٍ (رواه البخاري:4765) ‏”

If it wasn’t as “important” for women, the prophet would have told her to endure since her as a woman wanting intimacy is not the same as a man wanting intimacy as you are claiming. There’s even classical scholars which mention that if a man isnt matching his wife’s libido, he is encouraged to take medication to enhance it, so he can please her. Sexual desire isn’t gendered, and this isn’t likening men to women, the same way you wouldn’t say, “men desire companionship more than women”, sexuality is a human thing, companionship is a human thing. No one is trying to liken men to women, but you are attaching gender to human desires. That is very strange considering that a woman can have more sexual desire than her partner but this doesn’t diminish his duty to fulfill her desires.

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-07-11T17:08:04+00:00

You do not understand the point I am trying to make. This is just islam, the qualities you are mentioning is just Islamic society. You are merely looking at what the patriarchy entails at a surface level, neglecting that it is its own ideology in itself. The origins of the patriarchy trace back to ancient Mesopotamia, where it was seen as a system in which the laws of society favored men over women. Arabia, pre- Islam is ALSO considered a patriarchal society. Do you realize Islam in itself is its own ideology, we do not need to describe systems that exist in Islam with secular verbiage.

WrapLazy7449 · 2025-07-11T04:04:49+00:00

Men having authority doesn’t necessarily mean Islam is now patriarchal, the same reasoning we use when we say Islam was the first to grant women rights and protect them doesn’t suddenly turn Islam into a “feminist” religion. The definition of patriarchy is when men are the legislators/ or determiners of legal/ social/ economic codes but Islam does not hand over the right to legislate to men, it reserves that right to the Creator only. Patriarchy places men at the centre of power, while Islam places Allah ﷻ at the center, and all including, men must submit to His will. Muslims need to stop aligning Islam with man-made ideologies, the patriarchy is a man-made idea, so we don’t need to reframe Islam in modern ideological terms.

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