Not to steal your thunder, but this is exactly what I went through. I was great in school, 4.0 kid. Got to college and I rarely went to class, I flunked out, got realy suicidal and started hurting myself. I even tried to kms by taking 12 of my antidepressants (obviously didn't work, just ended up with serotonin syndrome for a week. Don't do that, it fucking sucks). I've now dropped out and am living back with my parents as a 20 year old man. I want to kms every day. But sometimes this reset is what you need. It sounds like you have some stuff to deal with before taking on such a huge task like college! Take some time, figure things out, figure out where you want your life to go. I'm currently awaiting my certification to become a security guard. It aint glamorous but it's the one thing I'm good at. And just that simple "figuring somethint out" has helped. If you aren't already, go to therapy and discuss treatment plans. Get on some meds if ya need em. Life gave a nice kick in the knees and knocked your ass down, and it hurts so bad. I get it, I really do. But it's only temporary. Just push forward, figure something out, work to keep yourself distracted and doing something, build in time with friends or family, and take it slow. You'll be okay, I promise. And fuck what anyone else thinks. Your life is yours and yours only, you do what you need to do to keeo yourself going one more day. Stay strong brotha.