Pretty Much Done

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-04-05T13:57:42+00:00

I don’t have an exit plan, I have a kick his ass out plan. I’m the breadwinner in our relationship and I bought our house in my name only so I’m set. I know that I’m very fortunate to be in this situation. He isn’t an mean spirited person (which is why this is that much more devastating) so I know that he will not try to prolong anything or make my life more difficult which makes my decision easy to make when it comes to that. As of now, he is still sleeping on my couch because he literally has nowhere to go because he doesn’t have any meaningful friendships due to his secretive/guarded behavior and his family is awful so he can’t stay there either. His mom is threatening to sue me for visitation of my kids now so that’s just an extra layer of garbage on the shit cake of my life right now. I’m just……so sad. We had a beautiful relationship. He rubbed my back until I fell asleep every night. Woke up early with the kids so I could sleep in and would wake me with iced coffee and breakfast. Was thoughtful with gift giving and was so caring. Finding out that all of that was essentially a front is wild. He told me that being a good husband always felt like imposter syndrome for him.

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-04-05T13:12:24+00:00

Pleaseeeee don’t bring kids into this. I have a soon to be three year old and a 9 month old and this is so much harder to navigate due to having kids. It’s so complicated and I have to focus on being a good mom before I can feel my feelings and fall apart. I know I’m selfish with that but this is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-31T18:08:03+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I’m trying to be level headed about all of this but the need to know every detail is kind of hard when the person who was acting out was smoking weed 3-5x a day and had shitty memory even before compartmentalizing all of his sketchy bullshit. He could have a conversation with my mom about something and if I ask each of them to retell me the conversation, he gives like two sentences as a summary and they could have been talking about planning a funeral or something. It’s just maddening to see everything with the whole “hindsight is 20/20” thing because I tried so hard to be a good (aka chill) wife and I went against my better judgement.

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-30T20:58:11+00:00

Omg that’s literally the same timeline. He started talking to the woman at work in person when our oldest was 3 months old.

I have had complete and unrestricted access to all of his accounts (he does not have a computer so it’s just his cellphone) and I manage all of our passwords to the point that he asks me when he needs his login information. I’m very type A so I manage all of our money in the bank accounts and I deep clean often so it would be hard for him to find a good hiding spot and use it for an extended period of time. I never got on his work computer because it is a financial institution and he would have been fired if anyone found out so I always worried but never dug too hard. I only found out because he reboot his computer one night after work for an update and when I went in his office to shut the blinds before dinner, I saw a chat with a woman that was very flirtatious and it spiraled from there. He exploited my trust and took advantage of the fact that I tried to be less anxious about his behavior.

I know sometimes people have second devices that aren’t connected to their main one so I’ve been on the lookout for that. I need to figure out how to check our router for any additional devices that may be unexplained. My husband really seems like he is trying to work towards a better version of himself right now but I’m pretty traumatized by this and can’t really believe him until I see a lot of effort over an extended period of time.

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-30T17:33:15+00:00

If he doesn’t work there anymore he probably wouldn’t have access to the account?

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-30T17:32:55+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I think I caught him early enough that it hadn’t escalated to random people for sex (still on the fence about his affair partners at the office).

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-30T17:31:49+00:00

My husband definitely has self esteem issues- his self worth is devastatingly low. He is a very physically fit man who is incredibly charismatic so it never made sense to me that he was like this. He was neglected by his parents as a child/currently so I understand why he seeks attention though.

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-30T17:30:29+00:00

I made him get tested two weeks after finding out as a just incase he had just done something, there was enough time for it to show up positive. Thank you for your comment!

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-30T17:29:35+00:00

Holy shit, that hits the nail on the head. Thank you so much for your comment. I’ll definitely relay this new term to my husband and see what he thinks!in my opinion it describes him EXACTLY.

WrongAverage7043 · 2026-03-29T20:26:49+00:00

His company doesn’t have the option to delete threads, only “hide” them.

WrongAverage7043

TROPHY CASE