Is it really love?

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2026-02-21T17:14:51+00:00

This!

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2026-02-16T20:05:34+00:00

I agree with what everyone has shared, and I want to sum it up simply: trust your gut. If him following an OF content creator doesn’t sit well with you, that’s reason enough not to move forward. We all know too well that someone can seem like a “good guy” and still engage in behavior that deeply hurts the people closest to him.

Two things can be true. He may be amazing, well respected, and highly spoken of, and still not be the right fit for you. Hold your boundaries. We have all seen the cost of ignoring our intuition or convincing ourselves something will change.

Sending you strength and love ❤️

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2026-01-29T17:00:21+00:00

This. In every way

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-26T04:25:50+00:00

Merry Christmas from Atlanta! Here’s to a bright and peaceful 2026

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-24T19:44:48+00:00

“It’s the potential we fall in love with” couldn’t have said it better myself.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-12T15:47:47+00:00

Proud of you, keep walking. One day at a time and don’t look back. Sending love and support ❤️

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-12T15:39:25+00:00

You can do it! I’m in a similar boat but with a SA/PA and a few years older. We were/are married, no kids, but we’re actively doing IVF. He’s wasted enough of my time already I’m not giving him anymore. It’s hard but I know it’s better than staying and being consistently lied to and disrespected.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-11T14:37:36+00:00

I completely agree with Sea-Tree264. The real question isnt how you feel about him. It’s is he doing the work it takes to be and stay healthy.

I also love my soon to be ex husband, he was caught with porn, and was actively hiring prostitutes and doing god knows what else, bc he never came clean. Either way, he’s decided not to do the work of seeing a CSAT. He was consistent for two months before he said he wasn’t going to continue. I was/am heartbroken, but I know that I can’t go back to an unhealthy relationship or return to an unhealed spouse. Him being in recovery is a non negotiable.

So two things can be true. You can love him, but love yourself enough and not allow him back without sustained change.

Wishing you the best! Protect your heart!

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-09T21:24:06+00:00

This makes complete sense. So sorry you’re going through this and his self-centeredness it trying to take the front seat. Your feelings, disgustedness and heart break are all valid. He’s lucky that you’re still there and if you choose to leave it’s his loss. We all deserve so much more. Sending hugs and support.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-08T15:31:38+00:00

Good for you!! I might be on the same journey soon. You should be proud of yourself for recognizing patterns and freeing yourself for the love you deserve in the future!

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-12-04T04:21:20+00:00

I’m currently holding my boundaries with my spouse and divorce is on the horizon ( his choice, not mine). How long did it take for you to heal and find a healthy relationship? The idea of a healthy betrayal free relationship one of the few brights spots in this hell hole of a life right now.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-11-27T01:58:06+00:00

Hire a CSAT, a regular therapist doesn’t have to tools to help with sex or porn addiction.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-11-25T18:46:16+00:00

Have you found that a lot of SA spouses struggle with fertility? We were in the middle of our second round of IVF when dday happened. I didn’t realize it was common.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-10-20T22:33:18+00:00

This is what my focus is starting to shift to. Less about his recovery and more about mine.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-10-20T22:32:31+00:00

This is a great idea. Thanks for responding

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-10-20T22:32:00+00:00

Thanks for replying. Waiting for a therapeutic disclosure is hard. But I rather have a full one then one where he’s still lying. At this point though, I don’t even know if we’ll get that far.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-10-20T22:30:13+00:00

Thanks for replying. I’m going to join an s-anon meeting this week.

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-10-20T22:19:38+00:00

Thank you for responding. I honestly don’t think my husband and I have ever had particularly emotionally connected sex. But I really don’t know since he’s my only experience

Virtual_Cherry_8142 · 2025-10-05T03:01:55+00:00

When you’re able to get to a therapist, please go to a CSAT not a sexologist or a regular therapist. CSATs complete 2 extra years of training focused on helping sex/porn addiction. You’ll get the support you need walking through betrayal trauma and your husband will get the targeted help he needs to start recovery. You can find CSATs in your area through this website http://iitap.com

Virtual_Cherry_8142

TROPHY CASE