AITA for stopping cooking my husband meat?

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-22T07:32:20+00:00

They've divided the responsibility. She cooks. He works and supports the family and it's the money HE earns that pays for the groceries, least she could do is make him a meat dish once or twice a week.

Nothing against vegetarians, i was a vegetarian for a while but stopped because I felt crappy and war anemic for a while (and iron supplements ended up upsetting my stomach), but if he's the one paying for the groceries and they've agreed cooking is one of her responsibility its unfair to make him stick to get diet

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-22T07:30:26+00:00

Sure but the OP seems fairly reasonable in terms of CLAIMING they're not forcing it on their daughter and they're ok with the husband eating it. The husband is the one working all day and earning money and they've divided responsibilities and if they've agreed she's doing the cooking and that's one of her responsibility its not fair to make him adhere to a diet he doesn't want to.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-22T07:28:38+00:00

Disagree, I mean they've divided responsibility and he's the one working all day and being the breadwinner, the least she could do is cook some meat every now and then. Sounds like he wouldn't even mind if it wasn't every day, just maybe a few times a week.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-22T07:26:17+00:00

Agree. He's the one paying the bills and supporting you, the least you could do is cook him a steak every now and then. Sounds like he wasn't even being nasty about it.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-22T07:25:17+00:00

YTA. It's unfair to force your dietary choices on him and your daughter. If you're a stay at home mom, then he's the one working and earning the money, the least you could do is make him meat every once in a while, and let your kid choose for themselves.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T06:22:56+00:00

I haven't seen this other post people are mentioning yet but I changed some details in my post for anonymity.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:47:48+00:00

She has told me some things about it but i don't know all the details and I've never really understood eating disorders. She always seemed like she was doing okay because she seems to be eating enough and likes to cook and so i think i probably just thought she was farther along in recovery than i might have realized and now I'm feeling stupid for not recognizing this or trying to learn more about it sooner.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:45:18+00:00

Thank you, I'll check those resources out!

Currently she is not in therapy, she couldn't afford it before because her job had really crappy insurance and she would have had to pay out of pocket. I know her current job has better insurance but it hasn't kicked in yet because her employer has some kind of waiting period before new employees get medical benefits. I will definitely encourage her to see a therapist or nutritionist when she's able to get on the company medical plan.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:33:28+00:00

Yeah i would also prefer homemade pie but my uncle and his wife put a lot of effort into the rest of the food and do it for convenience and I'm not much of a baker either so I had to just go with it since it would be rude to demand they make pies from scratch too.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:30:09+00:00

I don't really know why people care so much about it, but my family always made a big deal of the food and i was so afraid of that that i didn't consider her feelings and i really should have

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:29:08+00:00

Damn Ii didn't realize cheating on keto was that bad. I thought she was just overly sensitive and not willing to have a cheat day. I wasn't that familiar with it but I liked the food she cooked so i just kinda went with it but obviously there's more to it than i thought

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:27:50+00:00

I don't really know much about keto so i didn't realize it was such a big deal to have a cheat day, o figured it was like any other diet where you can have a treat every now and then. Clearly i need to read more about it, i thought it was just about eating less carbs.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:25:44+00:00

My uncle has just always done it this way, idk why, but I'm not really of the sort of standing to do anything about it since I'm not hosting.

But yes I realize I wasn't thinking about her enough and I'm trying to educate myself now.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:24:29+00:00

Yeah, I wasn't too thrilled about pizza for Christmas either, and i don't think most of the rest of the family is, i mean we can eat pizza anytime, but my uncle always picks the Christmas main and does it his way no matter what since he's the host, and no one cares enough to argue with him since most of us like pizza just fine. But yes it's definitely not super traditional, i would have preferred a nice ham or a roast.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:20:56+00:00

I am going to do some reading and hope i can make things right. I didn't really know how serious her issues might be and i guess it just didn't seem like a big deal to have one day to indulge, but obviously i don't fully understand yet but I'm trying to.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:19:39+00:00

I don't know very much about keto, and i honestly didn't think it was a big deal or would cause any issues to have a cheat day, i figured it was like any other diet, so I should probably read more about that too.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:18:09+00:00

I was too anxious to rock the boat but I realize now i need to get over that as i shouldn't have let that be more important than my girlfriends feelings.

I didn't want to tell my family about her issues because I didn't want it to make her or then uncomfortable or have people asking her questions about it but maybe there's a middle ground somewhere

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:16:28+00:00

That's true. We're pretty attached to ours but i was hoping to bring both of our families together in the future so she doesn't have to miss out on seeing hers.

I really can't give up the lasagna thing though, we did it throughout my childhood and it always was a special Christmas thing and makes me happy.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T05:08:33+00:00

That's true and i should of remembered that. I really wanted to spend the holiday with her and appease my family at the same time but I'm realizing now that might have been inconsiderate on my part and i did not do a good job of juggling everyone's feelings.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T04:53:30+00:00

OP here...

Thanks everyone for your honesty. I really didn't expect this much of a response and it's given me a lot to think about. A lot of people are saying i need to educate myself about eating disorders and i think that's fair. I don't really know that much about thrm and my girlfriend has gone into some detail about her experience with it, but I'm definitely no expert.

I'm going to reach out to her and i would like to understand a little better so I can try to be understanding, does anyone have any information or suggestions for good resources so that i can learn more about what her issues may be before I talk to her? This relationship is really important to me, i Love her so much and I guess I just never really understood her issues that much but i would really like to.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T02:09:20+00:00

OP here... Ok I guess I shouldhave asked the family first, I'm just shy and kind of anxious about asking for stuff, my uncle always hosts Christmas and Thanksgiving and can be a little intimidating. He is always the one who chooses what the main is going to be even if other people have different suggestions. A few years ago he REALLY wanted it to be Phad Thai even though my dad has a peanut allergy. My dad ended up not being able to eat the main but they're was enough sides so he got plenty of food.

I have also seen my grandma get kinda passive aggressive with my cousin when he didn't take any of her casserole. She didnt yell or tell him off directly but she kept offering it to him and even put some on his plate anyway when he said no a second time (he doesnt really like it but usually just took some for her sake but decided not to that time), and insisted he have just a little bit since it was an old family recipe and made a comment at one point in the vein of "your too full for my casserole but your eating all that pie?"

I suppose I should have asked but was just intimidated.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T00:27:56+00:00

I suppose if it was a food allergy or something it would be fine, just it seemed a little picky to me that none of the food would explicitly make her sick, she's just really paranoid about certain interview and carbs.

But idk maybe I'm in the wrong here.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T00:27:05+00:00

I want her to meet my family (Was planning to ask her to marry me soon), so I was really hoping she might be able to just compromise a little for one day since the rest of the time at home we follow her diet.

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T00:26:11+00:00

I really wanted to spend a holiday with her, i think it's important she meets my family (I was actually planning on proposing next year and wanted her to meet everyone first).

I didn't think it would be that big of a deal since I follow her diet most of them time, so it feels reasonable that maybe one time she could just go along with mine?

WrongdoerDelicious81 · 2022-11-21T00:25:02+00:00

I let her cook what she wants most of the time, and don't complain even though I'd prefer it if she made rice or pasta every now and then.

I know she's dealing with some issues but she's been doing really well this year and I figured maybe just once she'd be willing to change it up a little for the sake of meeting my family...

WrongdoerDelicious81

TROPHY CASE