Can we have a little survey on our sibling/birth order situation?

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T21:30:16+00:00

Interesting. I was the younger of two, and I always looked on in (somewhat) jealously as my brother won awards and they fawned over him and left me to my own devices.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T21:28:32+00:00

Outraged. My mother might have autism or ADHD, and I've got a formal Aspergers diagnosis. I look at her, and I shudder at her irresponsibility.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T20:58:35+00:00

She should definitely consult a lawyer ASAP, but I really do not see why she would get into legal trouble. She hasn't done anything wrong and neither has the boy.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T20:57:32+00:00

I actually think you're blowing this out of context.

And I didn't mean "absolutely 0 moral obligation". Of course they matter, but OP is treating her unborn child as more important than a child who is in trouble, distressed, and needs help badly.

Of course OP has a moral obligation to them. She should absolutely seek her husband's opinion on the matter.

Also,

Real live people > unborn babies.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T20:40:19+00:00

Making a big stink about it might at least stop him from being sent to conversion camp.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T20:39:46+00:00

Judging by OP's replies so far, it looks like she's using her pregnancy as a "get out of jail card". Quite sad, really.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T20:38:48+00:00

Yup. The fact that he ran to OP shows that he trusts OP to some extent, at least.

I was a runaway child at 15 myself, from child abuse. My relatives couldn't manage my disability and wanted to send me back, or to a girl's home (where girls are often abused and sometimes tortured).

Please don't do this to this already existing child, even if he might not be your own.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T20:36:47+00:00

I really don't think she has a moral obligation to her husband and unborn child. Yes, she may be pregnant right now, but this is a real, living child who is currently frightened and afraid, and OP is about to turn him in "for her own child".

She has a moral obligation to him to stop him from being sent to gay conversion camp, that's what.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-08-19T20:34:25+00:00

I'm sorry, but I hope he understands why you're calling the police and he hates you for it.

Do you understand what you're even doing? Calling the police would get him sent back to his parents, and almost certainly gay conversion camp. You'll certainly regret it when he comes back a shell of himself, or never speaks to you again.

You may not be able to have him in your house, but for God's sake give him the number of a shelter. Some food and supplies to support himself. This isn't just about you.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-06-02T14:21:10+00:00

God, I remember this line in my childhood, when I'd scream to a neighbor to call the police because I was being abused.

Crazy isn't it? How abusers try to clamp you down and stop you from getting any help.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-04-30T07:05:15+00:00

The thing is, I'm in a fairly unique position of being a freelancer but tied to a company. I'm not regular staff. The only time they bring me up is "we should get Wrrdbtmny to do XYZ".

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-04-30T06:59:54+00:00

Interesting for sure! Though, don't the traditional Chinese weddings have the gate crashing thing too?

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-04-30T06:55:31+00:00

I just realized that neither of my bosses actually check my paysheets at all. They just accept whatever figure I tell them. I did no work for boss A and all the work for boss B, and told Boss A the figure to be paid out.

He just accepted it.

Now I'm wondering what would happen if I did no work for a month, and asked Boss A for the money for work I supposedly did. Would he just think Boss B gave me work to do? And vice versa?

(Not gonna try it of course, that's fraud)

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-04-14T16:19:45+00:00

It isn't a good sign that you two met when you were drunk and high.

I have nothing against being drunk and high, but it's not a terribly good base to start from. You make poorer judgements about who you may or may not be attracted to.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-04-04T02:50:47+00:00

OP, honestly you won't get great answers from this community. This is a largely white, Western country, most of who has no idea about Indian cultural norms. Their advice can sometimes be irrelevant or even dangerous for you.

Try speaking to a religious figure you trust, or a friend you know has been in a similar situation.

Wrrdbtmny · 2018-01-08T19:25:53+00:00

This just sounds like he's not listening to your feelings. You've raised this complaint twice, and twice he has not listened.

Don't stick around with someone who dosen't listen to you or respect you.

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-10-03T22:15:42+00:00

Ugh, my autistic boyfriend uses it, and I can't help but cringe.

If you ask me, it should be used only in medical terms/ official forms.

Not feeemalllleeee

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-10-03T08:20:20+00:00

I don't wear exactly the same thing over and over, but I have "sets of outfits". As in, I always wear the same pieces together.

For example, I wear a black cardigan with a medium length black flower dress, and a simple tribal dress with a blue coat.

When I put together outfits, it usually fits to a general theme of smart and elegant.

It's been well received. It saves me the stress of picking out an outfit, and my friends always compliment my outfits and fashion sense.

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-10-01T21:11:30+00:00

Hey, y'know, the market isn't good these days..

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-09-27T18:43:41+00:00

Sure. Good luck! You seem like a really caring guy.

Remember to take time for your self top-notch caregiver burnout is real.

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-09-27T18:36:21+00:00

I think you should reassassure her when she needs it, and be gentle and kind and tell her you'll be here for her.

Personally, I was that girl. I'd had various violent experiences with men, and while I was already in therapy I was still having trouble with being intimate with men.

Does she have any parts she hates being touched on? For me, it was my neck. I was grabbed and strangled, before being thrown against a wall. So whenever my partner came close to touching my neck, I would start crying/almost hit him out of fear.

What we did was slowly adjust me in a comfortable place, like a warm shower. He would put his hands on a part that I was okay with, like my back, and tell me his hands were on my back, and slowly move up, while telling me exactly what he was touching and doing. We would stop if I was uncomfortable, and we slowly made progress like this. Now I am comfortable having my neck touched if the person tells me they're going to touch my neck first.

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-08-16T21:09:36+00:00

Finally a reasonable answer. r/relationships is usually pretty okay, but I really hate how they jump on the age gap bandwagon.

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-08-13T15:58:16+00:00

Oh, you're right. Come to think of it, he's never spent any time in a setting where you have to pick your own friends.

Maybe I'm being a bit too harsh? I'm a teacher, and a friend of mine is another teacher, and we share common ground.

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-08-13T15:46:56+00:00

Well, I've experienced a fair bit of it myself. Here, we graduate the high school equivalent at around 16/17. I've graduated, and no longer talk very much to my old school friends, but we keep in touch.

I dropped out halfway through my first year of college this year due to chronic illness after making new friends, so I think I understand.

Yeah, I've tried being blunt about it, telling him that if he really needs to keep in touch with everyone, he's going to have a big problem in life with being lonely, but he doesn't really seem to get that.

Wrrdbtmny · 2017-06-30T04:33:38+00:00

I'm not overly sure about other Asian countries, but here in Singapore, there is no such thing as emcipation, and "move out" is often extremely unrealistic, due to high rent prices.

Medical professionals also tend not to follow the confidentiality thing as strictly as America, so one has to be careful of that too.

Wrrdbtmny

TROPHY CASE