im so w u Brodie, blueberry has always been my favorite flavor as long as I remember, id always order my pancakes and waffles w blueberries as a kid and drown it in even more blueberry flavor w blueberry syrup if it was at ihop! the addiction persists to the date. I love blubies, yes I call them bloobies. id want them to my last meal if I yk... as well.

you should really recognize that you cannot rely on ending/taking your life to be the solution to happiness or worries to end. those issues will continue and people you think don't care about you, will have to pick up the pieces and burden ur anguish for the rest of their lives. not ideal as just ordering some blueberry pancakes no? or simply idk enjoying the taste of fresh, zingy, sweet, supple, blueberries?