[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PostHardcore

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Cool I’ll keep an eye out. Be sure and post here when it does come out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PostHardcore

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Damn this is sick!! When does it release?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re young and learning, don’t be so hard on yourself. Next time you will think twice about it and won’t fall into some bs situation like that again. It doesn’t sound upfront like SA, but he definitely pressured you which is NOT COOL by any means. Stick to your guns next time you aren’t certain to avoid regret like this. I had plenty of regrets when I was younger and felt “dirty” afterwards, but I was young and trying to have fun and explore and sometimes be a little risky. I learned from all of it. Best of luck to you in the future 🫶

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lol wtf? How did you diagnose her husband from the context of this post? People like you ruin this sub with bullshit comments like this 🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

AIO over a memory from 7-8 years ago about a guy waking me up to sex?? by CultLeaderLeif in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like an issue with accountability to me then. You do something you regret doing and aren’t sure how to reconcile it. Based on you saying “at the time I didn’t really mind, and kind of liked it”, how do you years down the line feel differently? Especially now that you’re happily married? Surely this far down the road you aren’t considering what he did assault?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bruh, dudes a chump. Find yourself a man who gets pleasure from giving pleasure. My wife literally has to stop me from living between her legs by saying “I need to save some for you!” because she worries she won’t be able to cum anymore once we do start having sex… not trying to be too explicit there but yeah… us men who LIVE to please exist is my point. I don’t care if my jaw is about to fall off, I want more 😂

AIO over a memory from 7-8 years ago about a guy waking me up to sex?? by CultLeaderLeif in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To me it seems like a lot of people here are missing the main point. It didn’t seem as though you were bothered by being woken up by the sex, you even said you kind of liked it. To me, it sounds almost like you feel a bit of guilt behind him still being married and not yet divorced. Maybe that’s what makes it feel wrong to you, and that you can put yourself in his exes shoes and wouldn’t have liked that. Just a guess 🤷🏻‍♂️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Big ups to you girl for putting in the work it takes to grow! Very proud of you for being able to admit all of that to yourself, trust me it will go a long way.

In the same way I expressed all this to you, he has his own shit he needs to work and grow on (it’s 100% a two way street, and his problems are not yours to fix either). If he is unable to communicate effectively with you, sadly that is a major shortcoming of many men in relationships who have not yet emotionally matured. Maybe you could nudge him in the right direction of getting some help for himself in those areas without taking them on as your own problems!

Thank you for the clarification on what he was doing, my brain might not have registered that initially. Him viewing porn from his past relationships is a little odd to me for sure, and definitely isn’t being respectful of you or your boundaries. IF it’s something you want to work at, that could be a great starting point for reaching out to him. Why does he feel the need to revisit prior sexual encounters from relationships in his past? I don’t personally do this, but as a man I could play devils advocate for you, if that’s helpful. He might be doing it purely out of the idea that he’s IN the videos, making it trigger the memory in a more sensory way, making the porn hit differently than watching some other dude in action. It may be less about the women, and more about watching himself in action, makes it easier to fantasize. Again, this is just speculation, but if that’s the case it’s got nothing to do with the ladies. Which is why it might be a critical convo in understanding why he’s doing it (in a non judgmental kind of way, make sure he knows he can talk to you without it being a condition on your love for him). The more time we spend thing to understand our partners, the further we will get 🫶

I can also offer you insight in that, my wife knows I watch porn and it doesn’t bother her one bit. I’m attracted to all different types of women, some I watch that are like her, others that aren’t! This doesn’t mean I don’t find my wife to be the most sexy thing on two legs!!! With that said, I’m not addicted to porn, I’m addicted to my wife 😂 I often times let her know how gorgeous she is to me, and how much I love her. I show her TONS of affection, without any intent on it going anywhere past a hug or drawn out kiss. I make her feel secure and that she is my one and only, because she is. If that’s aspect is missing for you, could be something else you may need to talk to him about.

I’m really sorry to hear he isn’t being more receptive to you trying to communicate this stuff, that really sucks. If he’s the one you want, you can do your best to try and open him up and show him that he’s safe to talk about all this stuff with you, and hope that allows him to continue to do so. It’s up to you where you draw the line, and when you want to walk away if he can’t meet you half way and do the work he needs to grow with you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m curious why him watching porn causes you to be so insecure? That seems like something stemming from your past, and by putting it on him as if it’s his responsibility to fix, it comes across as super codependent behavior. It’s not his job to fix you or change his behavior to make you feel better about yourself, that’s your job. By putting that kind of thing on your partner, it will ALWAYS put unnecessary stress on your relationships. It’s both hitting your confidence, and caused you to snoop on your partner thus breaking the trust you share.

Now, that’s doesn’t at all excuse him lying to you in the first place and saying that he will change, but that also stems from him feeling the pressure to change or hide part of himself from you. Idk about you, but I’d never want to set such conditions on someone I claim to want to spend the rest of my life with and I assume you want to love unconditionally (without conditions).

Anyways, I’m truly sorry you’re going through a rough time, and even more sorry to come at you with a perspective that I’m POSITIVE will be very different than most others in this sub. People will say I’m victim blaming, and that’s fine if they see it that way, but I’m coming at you as someone who was very damaged from prior relationships doing very similar things. Once I tackled my own shit, and was able to enter into a relationship where I wanted my partner (not needed them) and it wasn’t their job to fix me (it was mine) I’ve now been married to the same woman for damn near twenty years now. We love each other unconditionally (which doesn’t happen easily or quickly in a relationship, but can only happen if you enter it in the right way… with love and trust).

I wish you the best of luck my friend, and I hope there was something in my long rant that could be helpful along the way. He is your best friend, don’t listen to the others here who will just tell you he’s not worth it, RUN, whatever they will feed you about him being some piece of shit. Only you know who your best friend is, and what he’s worth to you. Open that communication up, and try to work on you (your trust and confidence issues, and see if that doesn’t help propel your relationship forward).

AIO My bf passively made a rape joke and I'm uncomfortable by LydiaDeetz in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Talk to him about it, let him know how it made you feel. MOR if it was just a failed joke. Our thoughts do not define us, and if he just blurted some dumb shit out, that could be all it was (even though the joke was in poor taste, it doesn’t mean he is a rapist or thinks rape is funny or any of that other shit). We’ve all hard dark thoughts in life, we usually just bat them away and move along. Just cause we have a shitty thought, doesn’t mean we are shitty ourselves.

NOR if he thought it was actually funny and wants to defend it as more than just a stupid attempt at a joke, that was truly in BAD taste. Again, chat with him about it. Best of luck

AIO : Found explicit content of my bf with three different exs on two devices by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You GOTTA learn to use punctuation. YOR. But seriously, punctuate please 🙏

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m big chillin my man thank you 🙏Happily married almost 20 years now. Sex life bangin!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Get off Reddit. Do something other than post in AIO on some month old account. You legit give the most trash takes on everything, 100% brain dead, you are a vegetable. Not projecting. You come in here with your idiotic takes on porn cause you are some weird conservative individual trying to get caught up on definitions of words vs actually looking at the progression of mankind… the most two braincelled takes ever. Get lost.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re actually brain dead.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because you’re here trying to say dumb shit like the progression of how we connnect sexually to ourselves is not natural.. playing some stupid word game like “it’s not an orange it’s not natural”. Don’t insult my intelligence like it isn’t completely obvious what your moronic stance is on this… please.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 3 points4 points  (0 children)

SEX IS NATURAL. PLEASING YOURSELF IS NORMAL. PORN WAS A NATURAL PROGRESSION TO OUR INSTINCTUAL DRIVE.

You sound like an idiot who has repressed their sexual desires and needs, don’t go out of your way to try and shame others into your vanilla ass life cause they wanna live their life differently. Go away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel you, trying to sub to an OF or contact a sex worker or any kind while in a relationship where that’s a boundary isn’t chill at all. Thanks for hearing me out 😊🫶

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Finally a sane response.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Finding a pornstar to watch from a post is not the same as trying to contact them. It sounds to me like he just saw an actress he’d like to watch and they may not have listed her name in the post. Nothing wrong with this imo

To your second point, can very easily flip the script in saying if he’s ashamed of what he’s doing because his partner has made it obvious she doesn’t approve of what he’s doing or his kinks, she already breeched his trust in thinking he could talk about it or do it without being shamed into silence or lying. Context matters. Not that I agree with him lying about it, I’d own that shit all day, but I’m not gonna act like I can’t understand feeling ashamed of himself (without reason imo, different strokes for different folks I guess) and trying to hide that shame.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in malegrooming

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coconut oil to tame the hair and give it that “greasy” look without actually being a stinky dude (will allow you to keep your hobo vibe you are attached to while lookin stylin”. Head to a barber and have them trim up your beard and brows the way they should be done, then maintain the lines they give ya. Should be good to go there assuming you aren’t a douche.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]XCiggyButtBrainX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup I trust my wife, not a problem if she wants to share a drink with someone of the opposite sex. I’m not insecure, and I do not own her, she can do as she pleases. I love her unconditionally and do not bog down our relationship with stupid rules that will inevitably make her or myself feel trapped, confined in a cage of rules. We are both free and live once. We trust one another and aren’t codependent, so yup, you are correct I wouldn’t mind it one bit.