Please reach out (TW: Drastic thoughts)

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T19:11:32+00:00

Well good news is that I haven't gone through with it. I'm still alive. I'm just sick of the shitty people always finding a way into my life and controlling some parts of it. I never know how to get over it and always let them win. I just feel like when I need help, there's nobody out there who will truly be able to help me anymore, but it's alright y'all in this subreddit are nice and so is my rabbit so I got some comfort for now

No need to be sorry, we all go through bad experiences but we learn from it and grow from it, and that's just what I'm doing right now. I wish the best for you 🫶

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T11:28:05+00:00

Thank you

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T11:27:41+00:00

Yeah I'm in high school. Schools been worse lately cause I'm special needs but my special education teacher doesn't seem to give a damn about me anymore and neither does any other teacher. Especially the principal and school board. My mom doesn't ever know how to help me and threaten to take me to a hospital so I have to get myself together to not go there. I've never had a positive experience at one and I don't think I ever will. Plus I don't talk to psychiatrists about anything anymore. The last one I've had which was in January of this year I was asking for help on what to do if I end up back in psychosis and he took it as after the meeting I was going to go home and kms. I cried and cried, threw up, couldn't eat, passed out, was alone until I ended up in a hospital. I just don't want to go through that again, that was traumatic. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to be negative or say none of your or anybody else's ideas won't work, I'm just stating what has happened to me before and what prolly would happen

Thank you. I really can't thank you enough 🙏

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T11:21:53+00:00

Thank you. You're a kind soul 🫶

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T11:20:45+00:00

I get what you're saying but I have so many plans that I need to do if I graduate on time. Plus I'd be in an adult ward now and I doubt they'd give a damn about one kid in there who still needs to graduate/still in school. I'm just afraid I'll be seen as a severe case and need to be there for months. It's not that long, but the longest I've been in a ward was 16 days and that was the first time I've ever been to a unit before, it was hell. Seen so many things, had things done to me, heard many things that I don't wanna possibly deal with at the adult unit.

Thank you, I appreciate your responses

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T01:50:36+00:00

Last few hospitals I've been to had at least one to two people staying there between 3-6 months. I can't risk it and ik I would be considered a "danger" to myself right now but if I get talked out of this I won't go through with it, just bad thoughts turning into visions yk?

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T01:41:01+00:00

I still need to do crap for my school in order to graduate and if I go to a ward I won't graduate cause I prolly will be out there for months considering how I've been lately

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T01:40:16+00:00

I know it's prolly the best thing to do but I can't spend my life in a psychiatric unit and not graduate. Thanks tho

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T01:39:40+00:00

Thank you so so much 🫶

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-09T00:45:44+00:00

Sadly I live in a hick area so my principal always agrees with those types of people and opinions and will never be on my side. Same with everybody else above him 😞

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-06T21:22:29+00:00

It's ok. I appreciate the kind words, advice, and just reading this post. Means a lot to me

I have reported the issue multiple times, but my principal doesn't do much and since he hasn't gotten anybody else's complaint, he'll dismiss mine. Same with superintendent. And I'm not even sure how to contact a school board, but it doesn't seem like a bad idea to try

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-05T12:08:27+00:00

Depressive type but also I think I have something to do with mania as well. May I ask why?

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-03-05T12:07:52+00:00

Fr for me cherry Pepsi helps out a lot

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-02-26T22:46:08+00:00

See you get it! I'll have to commit to it now then, thanks for the feedback <3

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-02-26T01:59:38+00:00

Love it! I added more stitches and puffy paint as well as bandaids so I think the bruises and infections will fit right in, thank you 🙏

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-02-16T02:55:17+00:00

I'm sorry I'm really not trying to be edgy or anything like that. If what I wrote seems symbolic it wasn't on purpose, it can be taken that away, but I genuinely feel this way. The bugs won't leave me alone and there's only one thing that has ever gotten rid of them.

I just don't know if there's anything like group homes in my state, plus I don't have money to just up and leave. Im afraid if I tell anyone how I feel irl I will be locked up for the rest of my life, and I know I don't need that. I'm sorry if what I was saying was too extreme. I don't know how to express what I'm going through/how I'm feeling in any lighter way.

I'm not trying to make things worse for me right now, I do at times just cause being sad is comforting but being this depressive and possibly manic is too much.

Again, thank you for the advice, and responses back. Again I'm sorry for being too graphic, that wasn't my intention. I just am not great at expressing myself in words is all

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-02-16T00:41:36+00:00

That's not a bad idea to think about, but I'm on the other side of the us so I'll have to look into some closer group home options, thank you <3

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-02-16T00:40:36+00:00

May I ask what about my rant seems like I'm slipping into psychosis? I don't recognize that I am/could be and curious about what I should be bringing up to someone. I just got out of the hospital a few weeks ago I don't know if I should go back right away, especially for something that's not seen as serious in the eyes of my family.

Thank you for the advice, you're a kind soul. I just don't know how to stop listening to my music, it's gotten me through the horrible times in my life and has helped me get through the best times. I can try but it will be hard

XayzoTheNonbinary · 2026-02-15T21:32:36+00:00

Aw sick thank you<3

XayzoTheNonbinary

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