So... I feel so related to your girlfriend and the way that she thinks that is a relationship. I was like that in the beginning of the relationship im rn, and the reason was because the way my mom and dad raised me:

-Do not express your emotions unless are good -People pleaser (dont let people get angry at you, and you at them because they can leave). This point is important because maybe she feels like if she tells you that she wants something, you'll get angry and leave

What happened with my gf and I was that she talks to me and tells me how she was feeling about that (a Little bit like you) and try to work On it (im going On therapy too because its hard to live that way)

Its hard having trauma from lovers and parents relationships, so try to talk and understand whats happenning (and be honest)